Listening Skills

The Heart of Empathic Understanding

Listening is a process that includes:

Attending Perceiving Interpreting Assessing Responding

Definition
Art of hearing and understanding

Making sense out of what we hear

Look Identify

Set-up
Tune in Examine Note

Process / Stages

1. Sensing / selecting 2. Interpreting 3. Evaluating

4. Responding
5. Memory

Advantages
Leads to better knowledge of organization Enables better policies Mollifies complaining employees Paves way for successful open-door policy Helps to spot sensitive areas Increases productivity Increases accuracy

Enables innovative solutions

Encourages prototyping

Poor listening
Listening but not hearing Rehearsing

Interrupting
Hearing what is expected Feeling defensive

Listening for a point of disagreement

Criticize delivery/appearance of the speaker Fake attention

Tolerate or create distractions

Evade the difficult

Poor listening contd

Call the subject matter uninteresting Become too stimulated Listen only for facts Try to outline everything that is being said

Types
Informative Listening

Attentive Listening
Relationship Listening Appreciative Listening Critical Listening Discriminative Listening

Barriers
Content : too much, too little, selective Speaker : delivery, attitude

Medium : distance and environment

Distractions: extraneous Mind Set: attitudes Language: ambiguity, misinterpretation Listening Speed: rate, think time

Feedback : inappropriate, hasty

Strategies
Decide your goals Be aware of your options Decide when to speak and when to listen Plan what to say when you speak focusing and clarifying Be Attentive : stop multi-tasking, recap, use body language

Fallacies about Listening

Listening is not my problem! Listening and hearing are the same Good readers are good listeners Smarter people are better listeners Listening improves with age Learning not to listen Thinking about what we are going to say rather than listening to a speaker Talking when we should be listening Hearing what we expect to hear rather than what is actually said Not paying attention

( preoccupation, prejudice, self-centeredness, stero-type)

Listening skills are difficult to learn

Barriers to Active Listening

Environmental barriers Physiological barriers Psychological barriers Selective Listening Negative Listening Attitudes Personal Reactions Poor Motivation

How to Be an Effective Listener

What You Think about Listening ?
Understand the complexities of listening Prepare to listen Adjust to the situation Focus on ideas or key points Capitalize on the speed differential

Organize material for learning

How to Be an Effective Listener (cont.)

What You Feel about Listening ?
Want to listen Delay judgment Admit your biases Dont tune out dry subjects Accept responsibility for understanding Encourage others to talk

How to Be an Effective Listener (cont.)

What You Do about Listening ?
Establish eye contact with the speaker Take notes effectively Be a physically involved listener Avoid negative mannerisms Exercise your listening muscles Follow the Golden Rule

Effective Note Making

Note making is essential in college:
For lectures, which are a highly condensed methods of passing on information For reading, because what you don't write down, you don't remember

Effective Note Making (Cont.)

Note making is a skill:
Most people feel deficient It can be learned This takes understanding of what you're doing It takes practice, which involves effort

Effective Note Making (Cont.)

Note making is difficult because:
Spoken language is more diffuse than written Speaker's organization is not immediately apparent Immediate feedback seldom occurs Spoken language is quickly gone This makes analysis difficult

Five purposes for note making:

Provides a written record for review Provides a definite, limited learning task Forces you to pay attention Requires organization, and active effort on the part of the listener Listener must condense and rephrase, which aids understanding

Sequence
Listen and focus on meaning Evaluate what is being said Is it relevant to your purpose? What are the high points? Record the information Make use of it

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS KEITH DAVIS Stop Talking. Put The Talker At Ease. Show Him That You Want To Listen. Remove Distractions. Empathize With Him. Be Patient. Hold Your Temper. Go Easy On Arguments And Criticism. Ask Questions. Stop Talking!

level 1 On and off listening: More hearing than listening More interested in talking than listening Get only gist of the conversation Distracted by mobile phone, email, etc.

Level 2 Listening for key words: Hear the words but little effort to really understand the person Listen on the surface, concerned with content not feeling Follow your own agenda get to the point

Level 3 Generous listening: Listen without judging Focused on the present moment Fully processing what is said Pay attention to words, tone of voice and body language