On Marriages And

Family Values
V.I.G.Menon
What is A Famil y ?
• A fundamental soc ial group
in soci ety consi sti ng of
parents and thei r chil dren.
• One Can Look At Family consisting of
Legally Married Couple with their Children
and Relatives (Any of the Parents Of the
Couple May also be included)
• Exceptions:
• Gay Marriages And Living Together Will
Not Be Considered As Family For This
Discussion.
Or ig in Of F amil y

• Origin Of “Family” can be traced

to Micro Organisams
• Eg:In all the Micro Organisms
the Offsprings stay Close.True
in the case of Animals Species
and Many Plants Such as
Algae,Grasses etc
What are the
Ad va ntages ?
• In Animals,Staying Together Always
Ensures Protection Of the Newborn
• Makes Learning Easier
• E.O.Wilson’s Famous Sociobiology
Premises “that animals will act in
ways that have proven to be
evolutionarily successful over time,
which can among other things result
in the formation of complex social
processes conducive to evolutionary
fitness”.
Adva ntages Of
Cl ust ering Or Gr ou p
Li vi ng
• Reduces Uncertainty
• Reduces Average Energy
Consumption
• Improves Learning
• Improves Survival Chances
• Shared Social Status –helpful if
the family has a higher stature
Laye rs Of Hu man
Su rviva l
• Layer1:Physical-Essentially
Food,Health,Exercise
• Layer2.Mental :Intellectual and
Emotional Freedom
• Layer3.Social:Freedom in
Meeting,Talking and
Transacting With Fellow Beings
• Layer4.Spritual:Concerns
Freedom Of The Soul from
Ro le Of F amily

• Ideally ,provides “Know how”

for all these four Layers Of
“Survival”
• Fami ly Thus “Transmi ts”
The Physi cal , Men tal
(Intell ectual ), Soci al ,
Spi ri tua l “Endowments” to
the Next Generat ion.
Ro le Of F amily In Th e
Ec onomy
Households Enterprises

Govt

The Three Pillars Of A Nation’s Economy Are the Households,

Enterprises and Government

The Most Important is Hoseholds or Families

 Why Fami ly is the Most
Important Uni t Of
Nati onal Economy ?
• Familes/Households Send People to
Governments (Almost all Members of the
Governments are Members of a Family)
• Families Send People To Enterprises (as
Volunteers,Labour,Executives,Managers,E
ntrepreneurs,Professors,Researchers & so
on)
• Family Members Pay Tax
Of•course,there
Family are Members
exceptions Elect Governments
where Great Men/women are brought up in
Orphanages .Although Great People May be born in families,they need not
chose to head /run a family as grown ups
Why Family is the Most
Important Unit Of National
Economy ?
• Members of Families as
Children,Youth,Man,Woman are
the “Mar ket ” for all forms of
Enterprises
• All “HR” Training is useless if
Family Life Of A person is
Troubled
• All Government Policies result
in waste if
Why Family is the Most
Important Unit Of National
Economy ?
• If no family,no Government &
No Business

Similarly if Family Values across

a Nation are flawed,then the
Government is flawed,as well as
the business
Why Family is the Most
Important Unit Of National
Economy ?
• All the National,International
Heroes of Today’s and
Yesterday’s were born in
Strong (may be poor,may be
wealthy) families
• Strength Of Families is an
Indication of the Strength/future
of an economy---after all
families send people to
Why Family is Under
Threat ?
• Industrial Era Pulls People from
Families in the name of Careers
whereas agriculture era earlier
sustained and rewarded
families
 Wh at Ar e t he
Th reats?
• For a Lower Income Family
Quarrels Between Members on Trivial
issues
Lack Of Skills for Earning Money
Prompting Easy Crimes and
Issues of Brideburning,Dowry
harassment etc (especially in India)
 Wh at Ar e t he
•Th
Forreats
A M id ?
dle I ncome
Family
• 1.Entrapments of “Catching up with the
Jones” lead to Quarrels inside
• 2.Infidelity Problems
• 3.Inappropriate Careers :Husband is an
executive in Dubai,wife in US as a
nurse.
• 4Inappropriate Choice of Partners: Wife
a successful film artist doing intimate
scenes
and (Jealous?) business man
 Wh at Ar e t he
Th reats ?
• For a High Status Fami ly
• 1)So many Social Gatherings,so
many ocasions for “flings” and One
Night Stands for the spouses
• 2)Every Minor Instances Blown Out
of Proportion by paparazzis and
Media for their own benefits and the
readers’ glee
• 3)Easily Blackmailed
 Wh at Ar e t he
Th reats ?
• Explo ita tio n Of Wo me n
Maids To Models,Married women are
Exploited Physically and Otherwise
• Explo ita tio n B y W ome n
Many Ambitious Women in many
careers have become “flying
whores” catering to those in power
and positions and even causing
trouble in the family of these married
men-and (stupidly) they believe they
are liberated !
 Why Do People Ma rry
?
• Goals Of Marr iage
• Physical:T o have a “p la yma te ”
• Me ntal:To share
in spira tio ns,asp irations a nd
emotio ns
• Socia l: To ra ise Kid s and a lso fo r
a “s ta tus” in s ocie ty
• Spirit ual: All re lig io ns e mp hasize
the i mportance of Ma rriages
Sco re Sheet For Al l
Types Of Mar riag es

Physical
4
Level 1
2
Level 2
Spiritual 0 Mental
Level 3
Level4
Social

Marriages Range From l level to Level 4 in their Concentration

on Physical,Mental,Social,Spiritual Values
Sc ore Sh eet For an
Ideal Marriage
Real Mar riages Have Varying Blen d The Le vels for
the P MSS needs

(S) (S)
(P) (M) Soc Spiritu
Physical Mental ial al

Marriage1 1 3 2 4

Marriage2 4 1 1 2

Marriage 3 1 4 3 2

Marriage 1Predominantly Focuses on Spirituality,Marriage2 on Physical

Needs,Marriage3 OnMental Growth/Satisfaction
Sc ore Sh eet For an
Ideal Marriage
• Re al Mar riages Have Var ying Bl end Of T he P MS S
Levels

Physical
4
2 Marriage1
Spiritual 0 Mental Marriage2
Marriage 3

Social

Marriage 1Predominantly Focuses on Spirituality,Marriage2 on Physical

Needs,Marriage3 OnMental Growth/Satisfaction,while all other needs are also
met to lesser extent
Sc ore Sh eet For an
Ideal Marriage
• But Real Marria ges H av e Varying Blend O f T he
Levels (M
(P ) )
Physica Menta (S ) (S )
  l l Social Spiritual

Marriage1 1 3 2 4

Marriage2 4 1 1 2

Marriage 3 1 4 3 2

Marriage 1 will have highest stability,since it rests on the highest of human

values and needs by sacrificing the rest
Sc ore Sh eet For Th re e
Re al Ma rria ges
(Ex ample ) (M Blend O f T he
• But Real Marria ges H av e Varying
Levels
(P ) )
Physica Menta (S ) (S )
  l l Social Spiritual

Marriage1 1 3 2 4

Marriage2 4 1 1 2

Marriage 3 1 4 3 2
Marriage2 will of the least stability,since it rests on the lowest of human
values ie predominantly physical and hence flesh or food oriented,which
needs variety and continual reassurance,hence both the partners will seek
newer pastures