Counselling

Skills

The Counselling Approach

WORK-BASED WORK-BASED

HOME-BASED HOME-BASED

LIFE-CHANGE LIFE-CHANGE

The Counselling Approach

Counselling is a way to i enti!y" #e$ognise an o%e#$o&e t'e (lo$)s to sel!-awa#eness" w'oleness" an s*ontaneity+

Helping staff resolve problems, not by finding answers for them, but by skillfully steering them towards their own answers.

Alternatives
ignoring the issue in the hope that it will go away telling people to grow up! and sort themselves out giving advice based on what you think or the Agony Aunt Approach manipulating people to do what you want discipline and punishment

"anagers# $oles

a$)nowle a$)nowle ge ge t'at t'at 'a%ing 'a%ing *#o(le&s *#o(le&s a!!e$ting a!!e$ting us us &entally" &entally" e&otionally" e&otionally" an an *sy$'ologi$ally *sy$'ologi$ally is is a a no#&al no#&al *a#t *a#t o! o! li!e+ li!e+ It It is is not not so&et'ing so&et'ing to to (e (e as'a&e as'a&e o! o! o# o# to to *#eten *#eten oesn,t oesn,t e-ist+ e-ist+

a$$e*t a$$e*t t'at t'at w'en w'en e&*loyees e&*loyees 'a%e 'a%e *#o(le&s *#o(le&s t'at t'at get get in in t'e t'e way way o! o! t'ei# t'ei# wo#)" wo#)" t'e t'e o#ganisation o#ganisation 'as 'as a a *#o(le&+ *#o(le&+

assu&e assu&e t'e t'e #es*onsi(ility #es*onsi(ility o! o! oing oing so&et'ing so&et'ing a(out a(out t'e t'e *#o(le&s *#o(le&s o! o! t'e t'e e&*loyees e&*loyees

HEL.ER HEL.ER

EMO/IONAL EMO/IONAL IN/ELLIGENCE IN/ELLIGENCE

%rinciples
0 0

W'en *eo*le at wo#) 'a%e a *#o(le& t'e o#ganisation also 'as a *#o(le& /'e $ounselling a**#oa$' is t'e (est way to get to t'e #oot o! a i!!i$ult *#o(le& $on$e#ning *eo*le /'e natu#e o! t'e *#o(le& an its solution a#e (est a**#oa$'e t'#oug' is$ussion

%rinciples

0 0

/'e *#o(le&,s solution is ulti&ately t'e e&*loyee,s solution /'e &anage# is t'e#e to 'el* t'e *#o$ess an 'is o# 'e# #ole is t'at o! !a$ilitato#+

Cycles

&gnorance, 'lockage, &naction cycle

Awareness, Acceptance, Change cycle

1OHARI WINDOW
0 0

C(C)*S

$#eate (y 1o Lu!t an Ha##y Ing'a& 2 )in s o! awa#eness3 4+ 5+ 6+ 2+ O*en win ow Mas) win ow Blin S*ot win ow 7nawa#e win ow

1OHARI WINDOW

C(C)*S

REF7SA L
0 0

C(C)*S

use (y *eo*le w'o #e!use to a$$e*t t'ei# *#o(le&s 8usti!i$ations3 4+ Inte#8e$tion 5+ .#o8e$tion 6+ Ret#o!le$tion 2+ De!le$tion

A+A$*,*S S

FEEDBAC K
0

A+A$*,*SS

solution to s'ow t'e& 'ow t'ei# (e'a%iou# a!!e$ts ot'e#s o*ening t'ei# eyes an s'owing 'ow ot'e#s see t'e& (y &o%ing t'e issue !ully into t'e e&*loyee,s 1o'a#i Win ow o*en win ow

&f a person constantly criticises themselves and runs themselves down, then it is difficult for that person not to be critical and emotionally punishing to other people. %ut in another way, we need to see the -ewel in ourselves before we can see it in other people.! . $ay +oolfe

SEEING O/HERS
0 0

A+A$*,*SS

a wa#& #ega# !o# *eo*le as *e#sons o! un$on itional sel!-wo#t' %aluing *eo*le no &atte# w'at t'ei# $on ition" (e'a%iou#" t'oug'ts o# !eelings

SEEING O/HERS

A+A$*,*SS

0 0 0

#es*e$t an li)ing !o# *eo*le as se*a#ate" uni9ue *e#sons #ega# !o# t'e attitu es o! t'e &o&ent" w'et'e# *ositi%e o# negati%e an attitu e o! non-8u g&ent towa# s ot'e#s+

ACC*%TA,C* A,/ CHA,0*

Counselling and 0rowth

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

Trust Autonomy &nitiative &ndustry &dentity &ntimacy 0enerativity &ntegrity

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

/R7S/
0 0 0

new(o#n - 4 yea# ol !i#st stage !oun ation o! *e#sonal g#owt'

A7/ON:M :
0 0 0 0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

2 - ; yea#s ol e-*lo#ation e-*e#i&entation &ista)e-&a)ing !o#(ea#an$e o! ot'e#s

INI/IA/I< E
0 0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

5 - 6 yea#s ol sta#ting so&et'ing new ta)ing !i#st ste*s

IND7S/R :
0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

= - 44 yea#s ol a**lying ou#sel%es to lea#ning t'e s)ills to &anage new situations

IDEN/I/ :
0 0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

45 - 4> yea#s ol #esult o! teenage g#owt' *#o$ess o! is$o%e#ing t'e #ole we want to *lay in li!e

IN/IMAC :
0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

4? - 62 yea#s ol $'a#a$te#isti$ o! g#owt' o! t'e ea#ly a ult yea#s w'en we see) 'ealt'y #elations'i*s wit' ot'e#s e%elo* new #elations'i*s w'e#e we $an (e ou#sel%es

GENERA/I<I/ :
0 0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

6; - =@ yea#s ol t'e *owe# to gene#ate an *#o u$e t'ings !o# t'e goo o! ot'e#s t'e *enulti&ate stage in *e#sonal g#owt'

IN/EGRI/ :
0 0
0

1 Conditions ,eeded for )ifetime 0rowth

a(o%e =@ yea#s ol t'e last stage o! *e#sonal g#owt'

)ey 9uality o! *eo*le o%e# =@ w'o 'a%e g#own !ully an 'ealt'ily

$o&*lete an #oun e wo#)

+hat "anagers Can /o

A manager can promote one#s personal growth by2

0 0 0

(uil ing t#ust (y s'owing t#ust &a)e it is 'isA'e# *#o$ess not t'ei#s en$ou#aging t'e& to e-*lo#e &eanings an o*tions instilling $on!i en$e in t'e& t'at t'ey a#e $a*a(le o! wo#)ing t'ings out

A manager can promote one#s personal growth by2

0

suggesting t'ey let go o! ol i entities t'at no longe# !it wit' w'o t'ey a#e see)ing ways to (#ing t'e& $lose# to ea$' ot'e# !o$using on w'at t'ey $an o!!e# ot'e#s see)ing ways to #esto#e w'oleness an #esou#$e!ul 'ealt'

0 0

1 /ispositions of Counselling
+armth *mpathy Specificity 0enuineness Confidentiality %rofessional /istance Touch of &ntegrity Self.renewal

WARM/ H
0 0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

t'e a(ility to *ositi%ely #elate to ot'e#s #esults w'en we (elie%e t'at t'ei# (asi$ intentions a#e goo

EM.A/H :
0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

Bente#ing t'e *#i%ate *e#$e*tual wo#l o! anot'e# *e#son an (eing $o&*letely at 'o&e in it+C DCa#l Roge#s s'owing you un e#stan w'at t'ey,#e going t'#oug' allows us to see t'e wo#l t'#oug' anot'e# *e#son,s !#a&e o! #e!e#en$e

1 /ispositions of Counselling

S.ECIFICI/:
0

ealing wit' 'ow t'ings a#e" not w'y t'ings a#e

GEN7INENES S
0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

(eing 'onest" t#ut'!ul" t#usting an un e#stan ing (eing !ully awa#e o! you#sel! 'a%ing li&its an !aults

CONFIDEN/IALI/ :
0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

)ey #e9ui#e&ent in a &anage# w'o $ounsels ot'e#s )ee*ing *#i%ate in!o#&ation !#o& ot'e#s

1 /ispositions of Counselling

.ROFESSIONAL DIS/ANCE
0

'a%ing enoug' e&otional in%ol%e&ent to un e#stan ot'e#s #e&aining sensiti%e to ot'e#s, situation un e#stan ing ot'e#s" (ut #e&aining istant enoug' to o!!e# o(8e$ti%e insig't" suggestions an su**o#t

0 0

/O7CH OF IN/EGRI/:
0 0 0 0 0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

/ #ust O *enness 7 n e#stan ing C on!i entiality H onesty

SELFRENEWAL
0

1 /ispositions of Counselling

any a$ti%ity t'at (#ings you (a$) !#o& a !eeling o! ti#e ness an ina e9ua$y to a !eeling o! (eing a(le to $a#e an 'el* again+

The Counselling &nterview

The Counselling &nterview

0

EMeetingE o# BDis$ussionE Any !a$e-to-!a$e e-$'ange in w'i$' you *lay t'e #ole o! 'el*e# to !a$ilitate solutions t'at (lo$) anot'e# *e#sonFs *#og#ess at wo#)

The Counselling &nterview

AIMS
0

Gi%e an e&*loyee t'e $'an$e to is$uss a *#o(le& t'at is (ot'e#ing t'e& o# you Hel* t'e e&*loyee is$o%e# w'at t'ey &ust o to o%e#$o&e t'ei# own (lo$)s to *#og#ess B#ing t'e& to awa#eness" a$$e*tan$e" an $'ange

EN<IRONMEN /
0

The Counselling &nterview

:ou# $'ie! ai& in a $ounselling inte#%iew is to get t'e e&*loyee to o*en u*+ :ou# *#in$i*al #ole is to listenG t'ei#s is to tal)+ /'ey &ust !eel sa!e+

The Counselling &nterview

S/AGES
0 0 0 0 0

Cont#a$ting E-*lo#ing C'allenging Solutions Con$lusions

The Counselling &nterview

/HEMES
0 0 0 0

.#e o&inan$e o! $li$'Hs Dis$ussion o! !a$ts .e#sonal $o&&ents on t'e !a$ts B#inging in o! *eo*leFs !eelings

3acts are sieved to determine the relevant ones. &ssues are sieved to find the important ones. 4ptions are sieved to find the best one.

FOLLOW7.
0

The Counselling &nterview

All inte#%iews nee a *ost-inte#%iew !ollow u*+ /'e su$$ess o! $ounselling e*en s al&ost w'olly on t'e !a$e-to-!a$e &eeting (etween you an you# e&*loyee+

The Counsellor

The Counsellor

.RE.ARA/ION
0 0 0

.#e*a#e you#sel! &entally+ .#e*a#e t'e en%i#on&ent *'ysi$ally+ .#e*a#e t'e e&*loyee+

ROL E

The Counsellor

Gui e you# e&*loyee to ta)e on #es*onsi(ility !o# un#a%elling 'is o# 'e# *#o(le& an ta)ing ste*s !o#wa# +

The Counsellor

CHARAC/ERIS/ICS
0 0

Is neit'e# $#iti$al no# insulting DoesnFt insist on 'el*ing w'en it is not nee e DoesnFt sy&*at'iIe o# wallow in t'ei# sel!-*ity DoesnFt in ulge in t'eo#ies

0 0

The Counsellor

CHARAC/ERIS/ICS
0 0

DoesnFt *ut *eo*le own DoesnFt &a)e lig't o! ot'e# *eo*leFs *#o(le&s" tal) too soon" too o!ten o# too long DoesnFt !ig't t'ei# (attles !o# t'e& DoesnFt igno#e w'at &atte#s to t'e&

0 0

The Art of )istening

S/O." LOOK AND LIS/EN

5*( 3*AT6$*S

S)ille listening is total listening+

/AKE :O7RSELF O7/ OF /HINGS

0

5*( 3*AT6$*S

/'e (iggest (lo$) to !ully listening to so&eone else is w'at is going on in you# own &in + Listen to t'e en + Listen wit'out inte##u*tion+

0 0

LOOK /HRO7GH A WINDOW NO/ A MIRROR

0

5*( 3*AT6$*S

Ai& to see t'ings a$$o# ing to 'ow t'ey see t'ings" e%en i! you you#sel! on,t s'a#e t'ei# %iew+ Listen wit' e&*at'y+

S/A: /7NED IN E<EN WHEN :O7 DON,/ LIKE /HE M7SIC

5*( 3*AT6$*S

E%en i! you a#e not inte#este in w'at t'e ot'e# *e#son is saying" you s'oul not swit$' o!!+

5*( 3*AT6$*S

/7RN-ONS AND /7RN-OFFS

/u#n-ons3
0 0 0

In!o#&ation we $an #elate to In!o#&ation t'at we 'a%e an inte#est in In!o#&ation t'at is uni9ue" un$o&&on" o# #a&ati$

5*( 3*AT6$*S

/7RN-ONS AND /7RN-OFFS

/u#n-o!!s3
0 0

In!o#&ation t'at we $an,t 'oo) u* to In!o#&ation t'at we a$ti%ely isli)e 'ea#ing a(out In!o#&ation t'at is (o#ing o# we,%e 'ea# (e!o#e

BE ALER/" A//EN/I<E AND ALI<E

5*( 3*AT6$*S

Ca#e!ully listen to t'e ot'e# *e#son+

/AKE :O7R /IME

0

5*( 3*AT6$*S

Fo$use listening is B*#esent &o&entC listening+ /a)ing you# ti&e to listen oesn,t ta)e you longe#" in !a$t" it is t'e &ost e!!i$ient way to listen

DE/EC/I<E LIS/ENING
0

5*( 3*AT6$*S

6 listening te$'ni9ues o! su$$ess!ul ete$ti%es JA#t So($Ia)K

Dete$ti%es on,t o o# say anyt'ing t'at &ig't $ause t'ei# sus*e$ts to sto* tal)ing+ I! t'e s*ea)e# is es$#i(ing an e%ent" sit tig't an on,t inte##u*t+ Go o%e# t'e sto#y in a #e%e#se $'#onologi$al o# e# i! you nee &o#e etails

DE/EC/I<E LIS/ENING
0

5*( 3*AT6$*S

6 listening te$'ni9ues o! su$$ess!ul ete$ti%es JA#t So($Ia)K

Allow you# s*ea)e# so&e s*a$e a!te# 'e o# s'e is one tal)ing+

5*( 3*AT6$*S

RES.OND /O /HE MOMEN/

0

Always #es*on in t'e &o&ent" in ot'e# wo# s" to w'e#e *eo*le a#e+ Don,t 'a%e a *lan o! w'at to as)+

76*ST&4, S

4ne#s ability to discover information and bring clarity to the way ahead depends primarily on what 8uestions you ask.

CAT*04$&*S 43 76*ST&4,
7uestions for &nformation 7uestions for Confirmation and $esponse 7uestions for 6nderstanding

FOR INFORMA/ION
0 0 0

CAT*04$&*S

O*en 9uestions Close 9uestions Su&&a#iIing 9uestions

FOR INFORMA/ION
O*en 9uestions

CAT*04$&*S

9. *laboration :. Specific ;. %ersonal responsibility <. Could =. 3eelings

FOR INFORMA/ION
Close 9uestions
0 0

CAT*04$&*S

W'en" W'i$'" W'o" W'e#e Is" A#e" Do

FOR INFORMA/ION
Su&&a#iIing 9uestions

CAT*04$&*S

4+ 5+

Su&&a#iIing state&ent .a#a*'#asing 9uestion

FOR CONFIRMA/ION AND RES.ONSE

0 0 0

CAT*04$&*S

/'e Re!le$t-Ba$) Luestions /'e E&*'ati$ Res*onse /'e /entati%e Hun$'

FOR CONFIRMA/ION AND RES.ONSE

/'e Re!le$t-Ba$) Luestions

CAT*04$&*S

.i$) t'e )ey wo# o# last wo# an *ut it (a$) to t'e&+

FOR CONFIRMA/ION AND RES.ONSE

/'e E&*'ati$ Res*onse

CAT*04$&*S

Re!le$t (a$) w'at you un e#stan t'e ot'e# *e#son to (e !eeling+

FOR CONFIRMA/ION AND RES.ONSE

/'e /entati%e Hun$'
.ut a suggestion to t'e ot'e# *e#son es$#i(ing w'at you t'in) 'eAs'e &ay (e !eeling o# &eaning+

CAT*04$&*S

9. Tell the person what you saw him do and heard him say. :. Tell him the meaning that you#ve tentatively given to his actions. ;. Ask if you#re right.

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0 0 0 0

CAT*$04$&*S

Deletions Disto#tions Gene#aliIations New Angles

0 0 0

Counte#-e%i en$e Meta*'o# Wi e# Angles

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
Deletions
MoneyM How &u$' &oneyM

CAT*$04$&*S

It,s &u$' &o#e o(%ious w'at s'e wants3 &oney+ S'e t'#ows &oney a#oun li)e wate#+

How o you &ean Nt'#ows it a#oun ,OM

W'y is it o(%iousM Mo#e o(%ious t'at w'atM

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0

CAT*$04$&*S

Disto#tions
I know youll think I am stupid but this is just another talking session. Itll lead nowhere. They bore me.

Why should I think youre stupid? So have you had a similar session before?

If youre bored, why is that due to the interview?

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0

CAT*$04$&*S

Gene#aliIations
Ive lost my self esteem. I !ant seem to think highly of myself. It must be the blows Ive had. Thats what working here does to you."

Why must it have been the blows...?

Why !ant you bring yourself to think highly of yourself?

What e#a!tly do you mean by $self esteem"? %oes it have to be everyone, then?

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0

CAT*$04$&*S

Wi e# Angles
What are your overall !areer plans?

&ow are things otherwise?

What !an you learn from this e#perien!e?

That must mean you !are very mu!h about getting on.

Is this the right move for you?

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0

CAT*$04$&*S

Counte#-e%i en$e

use!ul in #e-(alan$ing e-$essi%ely gloo&y o# o%e#ly o*ti&isti$ %iews o! t'ings

FOR 7NDERS/ANDING
0

CAT*$04$&*S

Meta*'o#

use!ul e%i$e to get so&eone to ta)e a wi e# %iew o! t'ings an $'ange t'ei# t'in)ing

CHA))*,0&, 0

%utting this gap between what is and what should be to the employee and then asking e>plicitly or implicitly2 So what are you going to do about it?!

&t does not mean to be confrontational stage of counselling, rather a holding up of the mirror to the employee who has the problem.

BRINGING /HINGS O7/ IN /HE O.EN

CHA))*,0&,0

BS*its in t'e Sou*"C &eaning s*elling t'ings out istu#(s t'e e&*loyee,s unawa#eness an " li)e s*its in t'e sou*" no longe# &a)es it taste so ni$e+ - Al!#e A le#

CHA))*,0&,0

.OIN/ING O7/ DISCRE.ANCIES

0 0 0

'ody )anguage Statements %ositions

INCONGR7ENC E

CHA))*,0&,0

:es" I o wo#) 'e#e+ :es" I 'a%e a $ont#a$t+ :es" I 'a%e &isse so&e ays+ :es" I )now I,& su**ose to o w'at s'e says+ :es" I i say s'e $oul stu!! 'e# 8o(+ :es" I still want to wo#) 'e#e+

LINK /HE CON/RADIC/IONS

CHA))*,0&,0

:ou say you want to wo#) 'e#e an &a)e a %alua(le $ont#i(ution+ But you,%e al#ea y 'a ? ays o!! t'is yea#+ :ou )now t'at t'e o#ganiIation nee s t'is tea& to wo#) 'a#&oniously toget'e#+ But you two a#en,t tal)ing++++

NO/ GE//ING IN /HEIR WA: CHA))*,0* 3A6)T( TH&,5&,0 0*,T)* S600*ST&4,

CHA))*,0&,0

C46,S*))&,0 S4)6T&4,S

LE<EL S
0 0 0

S4)6T&4,S

The outcome is the resolution of a troublesome problem. The outcome re.affirms the ability of people to cope. The outcome reminds us to accept it, integrate it, and move on.

CRI/ERI A
0 0 0 0 0

S4)6T&4,S

. D .#a$ti$al O D Owne W D Win-Win E D E-e$uta(le Now R D Realisti$

$eferrals
0 0

Re!e##als a#e outsi e solutions to *eo*le *#o(le&s+ Re!e##als a#e &a e in any o! t'#ee i#e$tions3 4+ /'e outsi e s*e$ialistG 5+ 7* t'e line to senio# &anage#sG an 6+ /o inte#nal s*e$ialists+

S%*C&A)&ST H*)%

0 0

Has long-te#& *#o(le&s

0

Has *#o(le&s t'at 'a%e no o(%ious $ase

0

W'o a#e e*en ent on $ounsellingG W'o s'ow ina(ility to #elate wit' ot'e#sG W'o #un wit' i!!i$ultiesG W'o is*lays (iIa##e t'oug'ts o# (e'a%io#sG W'o (la&e ot'e#s !o# t'ei# *#o(le&sG o#

0 0 0 0

W'o is silent W'o #e!use to $'ange W'o a#e 'ea%y #in)e#s W'o is %e#y agg#essi%e+
0 0 0

C4""4, %$4')*"S

.e#!o#&an$e .#o(le&s Si$)ness A(sen$e Ca#ee# Counselling Be#ea%e&ent Coun$elling .e#sonal Relations'i*s

C4,C)6S&4 ,