Interpersonal

Communication
Dr. Martha Reavley
Odette School of Business
Introduction

Key to interpersonal and
organizational effectiveness
Topics of Discussion
Models of effective communication:
basic model and the pyramid of
mutuality
Communication styles
Native tongue exercise

The Basic Model of
Communication
Sender message receiver
channel
noise
Pyramid of Mutuality
Mutual Respect

Mutual Meaning

Mutual Purpose
Silence Violence
Withdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking
Mutuality
A win-win situation that is built on a
foundation of trust
Sharing things in common
Seeking for things in common:
interests
goals
values

Mutual Purpose
Common goals or objectives that
are built on a foundation of trust
Something we want
Mutual Meaning
Observations, assumptions,
conclusions, and feelings that both
parties acknowledge as valid
Available Meaning: When ideas,
observations, and values are
acknowledged and understood,
they become part of the available
pool of common meaning
Hidden Meaning: Through sharing
meaning we become more aware
of inconsistencies in our own
thinking
Mutual Respect
Critical for maintaining dialogue
Both parties choose to treat each
other with dignity, decency, and
consideration, based on the
assumption that others are
reasonable, and decent
Silence - to - Violence continuum
Dialogue
Silence
Violence
Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking
Silence Strategies
Politicking: selectively hiding and
showing meaning. We hide our
motives or withhold assumptions
Hiding: talking without revealing
anything. Manipulative
conversations
Withdrawing: Pulling out of
communication completely. The
most severe form of silence.
Silence Strategies exs.
At work

In school

At home

With friends
Violence Strategies
Monologuing: Talking with the
sole purpose of getting what you
want. Communication is
unidirectional.
Labeling: Turing people into
categories or things in order to get
what you want. Makes it easier to
do or say anything.
Attacking: Communicating for the
sole purpose of pushing or hurting.
It includes harsh accusation,
yelling and raw invective.
Violence strategies exs.
At work

At school

At home

With friends
Strategies Test
1. Let me see if I understand.
2. Oh yeah, you bozo.
3. If you say so.
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could
say I guarantee.
5. I can see youre angry. Is it because we missed the
deadline?
6. Theres no time for discussion. Just do it!
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.
8. You bean counters always think that way.
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a
terrific job.
Answers
1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I
guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition
5. I can see youre angry. Is it because we missed the
deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
6. Theres no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling
8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a
terrific job. politicking


Effective Communication:



A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour
Underlying Values
Silence Dialogue Violence
Value Control
outcomes
Be right
Shared
meaning,
learning
Control
outcomes
Be right
Purpose Keep it
hidden
Share openly Demand
your own
Meaning Disclose
little
Share openly Force your
own
Respect Indirect
strategies
Conscious
effort
Intentional
strategy
3 Practice Scripts
Native Tongue Exercise
What This Means For Change
Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm
voice when speaking to
Critique your performance: How did you violate the
rule? What went wrong?
Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some
explanations - in the past this has ended in shouting
match.
Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue
Next Steps
Commit to effective communication
Understand the problems within
your group
Document your progress in you
diary