A TOOL FOR INCREASING SELF AWARENESS

Authors:
wilsontom.blogspot.com
Tony & Mandy Dalton
A difficult area
Self Awareness
Rushing to offer solutions is a common mistake
made by people new to counselling skills. This
tendency gets in the way of listening and is a trait
you need to overcome.
Self Awareness
CONSIDER
Why do you want to be a counsellor?
What is it that you want to give?
What do you want to receive from people you help?
What do you think youll get from being a listening
helper?
What are your expectations of anyone you might help?
What emotions in yourself or in others give you trouble?
How will you deal with the speakers feelings towards
you?
How will you handle your feelings towards those you
help?
Self Awareness
A counselor who isnt self-aware risks influencing
clients.

Personality
Value
Habits
Needs
Emotions
Self Awareness
Personality. The way in which you interact with the
world.


5 Key areas
Extravert Introvert
Values principles or standards of behaviour; one's
judgement of what is important in life.
You risk both influencing or being influenced.
5 Key areas
Be cautions against the extreme positions of
1) holding definite and absolute beliefs and
influencing clients to adopt these beliefs and
2) attempting to be value-free
5 Key areas
Habits - Behaviors repeated routinely and
automatically.

- Speaking too much,
- Being independent
- Laughing at peoples or own responses
5 Key areas
Needs - A motivating force that compels action for its
satisfaction.
5 Key areas
Emotions. Awareness is key.
5 Key areas
The Johari Window is a communication model that
can be used to improve understanding between
individuals.

Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham (the
word Johari comes from Joseph Luft and Harry
Ingham).
Johari Window
Two key ideas behind the tool:
Build trust

Learn about themselves
Two key ideas behind the tool:
If you cannot accept feedback or reflect on your work,
then you dont belong in the counselling field.
Knowing yourself
Knowing yourself. REFLECTIVE EXERCISE

Finding out more about your own defences
Understanding yourself increases the ability to understand others.
Understanding your defences increases your ability to manage them

Knowing yourself
Knowing yourself. REFLECTIVE EXERCISE

1. Think of a feeling that you dont like to display or reveal to others.

2. Imagine a situation where you could be in danger of showing that feeling.

What behaviour do you use to manage the feelings aroused in this situation?
How will that person perceive your reaction?
Knowing yourself
Knowing yourself. REFLECTIVE EXERCISE

3. Now think of a belief or value that you hold dear. Imagine a scenario in which
you have your belief or value challenged by another person, indirectly through
his behaviour and speech or directly through him attacking or disagreeing with
your view.

What behaviour do you use to manage the feelings aroused in this situation?
How will that person perceive your reaction?
Knowing yourself
I feel comfortable listening to someone
when
I enjoy listening to someone talk about
I find it irritating when someone
I find it embarrassing when someone
talks about
I get defensive when someone talks
about
I get bored when someone talks about
Words and phrases that annoy me are
I find it difficult to concentrate on what
someone is saying if I am
I get bored when

l feel drawn to someone I am listening
to who
If someone who is talking does not give
me a chance to contribute, I feel
When lm listening to someone I get
frustrated with myself when
If someone is talking to me for a length
of time, I find myself
If someone is talking to me about
something I disagree with, I find my-
self
Interrupting someone while theyre
talking is
A FOUR-QUADRANT WINDOW.
The Johari Window
Shows
Personal information
&
known or not known

by themselves
or
other people.
1. Open area, open self, free area, free self.
2. Blind area or 'blindspot:
3. Hidden self, avoided area or 'faade
4. Unknown area or unknown self

The four quadrants are:
The aim increase the 'open
area'
(for you and others)
The four quadrants are:
The four quadrants
Quadrant 1: Open Area
Known by the person about:
themselves & known by others.


Information about the person
behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion,
knowledge, experience, skills,
views, etc, -
Examples: your personality, your hobbies, employment.

How to Expand the open area
Expanding the open area

A. reduction of the blind area, by asking for and
then receiving feedback.
B. reduction of the hidden area
disclosing information, feelings,
etc, about themselves
THE UNKNOWING SELF
Quadrant 2: Blind Area, or "Blind Spot"

What is unknown by the person about
themselves but others know.

This can be simple information, Examples: your own
manners, the feelings of other persons about you
or
can involve deep issues (for example, feelings of
inadequacy, incompetence, unworthiness, rejection)
which are difficult for individuals to face directly, and yet
can be seen by others.


Quadrant 2: Blind Area, or "Blind Spot

Often copied from significant people unconsciously since
the childhood.

What do you do that youve always done and
failed to question?

THE UNKNOWING SELF
Quadrant 2: Blind Area, or "Blind Spot

Reduce this area by
seeking feedback and encouraging disclosure
THE UNKNOWING SELF
THE PRIVATE SELF
Quadrant 3: Hidden or Avoided Area

What the person knows about themselves that others do
not.

e.g?


THE PRIVATE SELF
Quadrant 3: Hidden or Avoided Area

Decreased through self-disclosure
Quadrant 4: Unknown Area
Unknown by the person about themselves &unknown by
others.

Examples?


THE UNKNOWN SELF
Quadrant 4: Unknown Area

Expanded through self-discovery or observation by
others
or
Counseling .



THE UNKNOWN SELF
Some thing are perhaps better not to be communicated
(like mental or health problem)

Be discerning who you reveal this to.

Some people may react negatively to disclosure.



THE DRAWBACKS
Must be linked to the activities that
reinforce positive. behavior or
correct negative behavior

Some cultures have a very open and accepting
approach to feedback and others do not.

Some people are offended by feedback.



USING THE JOHARI WINDOW
Increasing open area
i. by asking for and then receiving feedback
ii. through the process of disclosure

The unknown area can be reduced by:
i. others' observation
ii. self-discovery
iii. mutual enlightenment - via group experiences and
discussion
USING THE JOHARI WINDOW

Drawbacks of Johari window
Activity
3 Johari_Window_Questionnaire-package.pdf

Activity
3 Johari window exercise + blind spots.docx
ACTIVITY
The purpose: to develop the Open Area for yourself and
your clients.

The Open Area is the space where good
communications and cooperation occur, free from
confusion, conflict and misunderstanding.

Self-disclosure is the process by which people expand
the Open Area vertically.

Feedback is the process by which people expand this
area horizontally.

By encouraging healthy self-disclosure and sensitive
feedback, you can build a stronger and more effective
practice.
KEY P0INTS
Reconsider, what is the most important quality as a
counsellor?
What was the most important thing you learnt?
Will you change the way you behave as a
consequence?
How?
Journaling