7-Habits-Of-Highly Effective People For Swift Performances

The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People
Dr.Arivalan DBA
Certified Hypnotherapist (IACT), NLP Coach (ABNLP,
US), Time Line Therapist, LAB Profile Trainer.
This workshop is useful for:Mind set changes

Managing the self
Managing others
Successful Leaving
The 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People
There is no real excellence in all this world
which can be separated from right living
Common deep personal & professional problems:

How to reach the career goals set without losing personal
and family life?
How can I keep a promise I make to myself?
How can a manager train his employees to be independent
and responsible if it happened once that this manager was
home sick for a day?
How can one really congratulate a friend enthusiastically for

achieving some degree of success and recognition without
eating his heart out?
Theres so much to do and theres never enough time. How
can I manage my life effectively?
The 7 Habits of Highly

Effective People
The Principles established in Stephen R. Coveys book are supposed to
help a person achieve true interdependent "effectiveness". Covey argues
this is achieved by aligning oneself to what he calls "true north"
principles of a character ethic that, unlike values, he believes to be
universal and timeless. The book presents the principles in four
sections.
Paradigms and Principles. Here, Covey introduces the basic
foundation for the creation of the habits.
Private Victory. Here, Covey introduces the first three habits intended
to take a person from dependence to independence, or one's ability to be
self-reliant. You must be able to win your private victories before you
can start on your public victories. If you start to win your public victories
first, how can you feel good about yourself and still work on habits...
Public Victory. Here, Covey introduces habits four through six which
are intended to lead to interdependence, the ability to align one's needs
and desires with those of other people and create effective relationships.
Renewal. Here, Covey introduces the final habit which directs the
reader to begin a process of self-improvement.
Be Proactive
Principles of Personal Vision

The word proactive means that we are
responsible for our own lives. Our
behavior is a function of our decisions, not
our conditions. We can subordinate
feelings to values. We have the initiative
and the responsibility to make things
happen. Highly proactive people
recognize that responsibility. The do not
blame circumstances, conditions, or social
conditioning for their behavior. Their
behavior is a product of their own
conscious choice, based on values, rather
than a product of their conditions, based
on feeling. Proactive people are still
influenced by external stimuli but their
response, conscious or unconscious, is a
value based choice or response.
Begin with the end in mind

Principles of Personal Leadership
Begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of
the end of your life as your frame of reference of the
criterion by which everything else is examined.
Each part of your lifetodays behavior, tomorrows
behavior, next weeks behavior, next months
behaviorcan be examined in the context of the
whole, of what really matters most to you. By
keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make
certain that whatever you do on any particular day
does not violate the criteria you have defined as
supremely important, and that each day of your life
contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you
have of your life as a whole. To begin with the end
in mind means to start with a clear understanding of
your destination. It means to know where youre
going so that you better understand where you are
now and so that the steps you take are always in the
right direction.
Put First Things First

Principles of Personal Management
Habit 1 says that you are the programmer.
Habit 2 says to write the program. Habit
3 says to run the program. Living it is
primarily a function of our independent
will, our self-discipline, our integrity, and
commitmentnot to short-term goals and
schedules or to the impulse of the
moment, but to the correct principles and
our own deepest values, which give
meaning and context to our goals, our
schedules, and our lives. Organize and
execute around priorities.
Think Win/Win
Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that
constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human
interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or
solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually
satisfying. With a Win/Win solution all parties feel
good about the decision and feel committed to the
action plan. Win/Win is a belief in a Third
Alternative. Its not your way or my way; its a
better way. And if a solution cant be found to
benefit both parties they agree to disagree
agreeablyNo Deal. Anything less than Win/Win
in and interdependent reality is a poor second best
that will have impact in the long-term relationship.
The cost of that impact needs to be carefully
considered. If you cant reach a true Win/Win,
youre very often better off to go for No Deal.
Seek First to
Understand,
Then to Be
Understood
Principles of Empathic Communication

Listening with the intent to understand is called
empathic listening. Empathic listening gets inside
another persons frame of reference. You look out
through it, you see the world the way they see the
world, you understand their paradigm, you
understand how they feel. Empathy is not
sympathy. Empathic listening involves much
more than registering, reflecting, or even
understanding the words that are said. You arent
just listening with your ears, but also with you eyes
and your heart. Empathic listening is so powerful
because it gives you accurate data to work with.
When you present your own ideas be clear,
specific, visual, and most important, contextual
in the context of a deep understanding of the other
persons paradigms and concerns. You will
significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.
What youre presenting may even be different
form what you had originally thought because in
you effort to understand, you learned.
Synergize
Principles of Creative Cooperation

Synergy is the essence of principlecentered leadership. It catalyzes, unifies,
and unleashes the greatest power within
people. Simply defined, it meant that the
whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Without doubt, you have to leave the
comfort zone of base camp and confront
an entirely new and unknown wilderness.
You become a trailblazer, a pathfinder.
You open new possibilities, new
territories, new continents, so that others
can follow. The essence of synergy is to
value differencesto respect them, to
build on strengths, to compensate for
weaknesses.
Sharpen the SawPrinciples of Balanced Self-Renewal
Physic
al
Exercise,
nutrition,
stress
management
Social
Mental
Reading,
visualizing,
planning,
writing,
autonomy
Service,
empathy,
synergy,
intrinsic
security, be a
good friend
Value
clarification,
commitment,
meditation,
study,
perspective
Spiritu
al
Habit 7 is preserving and enhancing the

greatest asset you haveyou. Its
renewing the four dimensions of your
naturephysical, spiritual, mental, and
social/emotional. Express all 4
motivations. Exercise all four dimensions
of our nature regularly and consistently in
wise and balanced ways. This is the single
most powerful investment we can ever
make in lifethe investment in ourselves.
We are the instruments of our own
performance, we need to recognize the
importance of taking time to regularly
sharpen the saw in all four ways.
The Key for Successful Living

Personality Ethic
Character Ethic
Focus on attitude and To change the situation first

behavior minor change
we have to change ourselves
and our perceptions
significant, quantum change
Works in short term situation Has personal worth in the

(symptomatic treatment)
long term relationship
Social band aids that treats Treats the underlying chronic
only
acute
problems problem
temporarily
The Key for Successful Living

Primary and secondary greatness
Quit lacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior
(secondary greatness)
Get to work on the root, the character (primary
greatness) from which these attitude and behavior
flow.
The Power of a Paradigm

A paradigm is :
A frame of reference, a model
A perception, assumption
The way we perceive, understand &
accordingly interpret and judge things. A
mental map.
Two people can see the same thing,

disagree and yet both be right.
The more we examine the way we see
things, the more we can test them against
reality.
Listen to others and be open to their
perception, to get a far more objective view.
Being Is Seeing
Be See Think Feel Behave
We cannot change our seeing without
changing our being
If you want to have. Be.
The seven habits paradigm:
An inside-out approach to personal and
interpersonal effectiveness
Can we create a HABIT?
We are what we repeatedly do

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit
Habits are learned and unlearned
We are not the habits, hence we can change
them
Effectiveness is defined as p/pc

balance
p= production = what is produced, the desired
results produced
pc = production capacity = producing asset.
Maintaining, preserving and enhancing the
resources that produces the desired results
Maintain the p/pc balance:
Balance short term with long term
Take time to invest in a relationship
Win the customer more than the call
Interdependence
PUBLIC
VICTORY
Independence
PRIVATE
1
VICTORY
Be
proactive
Dependence
The Seven Habits Paradigm

Move yourself from dependence to
independence, the foundation for effective
interdependence
Achieve private victory, the foundation for
public VICTORY
Achieve self mastery through self
awareness, self confidence and self
control.

Prepare
yourself
for
interpersonal
leadership
Build a changeless inner core, from which
your attitude and behavior flow
Build the principle center that gives you
the wisdom and power to adapt to change
and to take advantage of the opportunities
that change creates.
The Maturity Continuum
Character & Personality

Although image, techniques and skills can
influence your outward success, the weight
of real effectiveness lies in good character.
Character & Competence

Character
A person with high character

exhibits integrity, maturity and an
Abundance Mentality.
Competence
A person with high competence has
knowledge and ability in a given
area.
As people balance these two elements, they build their
personal trustworthiness and their trust with others.
Character & Competence
Character
Competence
CHARACTER
COMPETENCE
Integrity
Maturity
Abundance Mentality
Interdependency
JUDGEMENT
Technical skills
Qualifications
Knowledge
Experience
EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
Habit 1
BE PROACTIVE
1
Be
proactive
Three theories of determinism affecting our

response to a certain stimulus
Genetic determinism (DNA)
Psychic determinism (childhood experience)
Environmental determinism (boss, spouse,
economic situation, notational policies)
Habit One : Be Proactive

The Habit of Personal Vision
The Four Human Endowments:
Self-Awareness Examining thoughts, moods and
behaviors
Imagination Visualizing beyond experience and
present reality (work on alternatives)
Conscience Understanding right and wrong and
following personal integrity
Independent Will Acting independent of external
influence
PROACTIVE MODEL
Stimulus
Freedom
To
Choose
Response
SelfAwareness
Imagination
Independent
Will
Conscience
Happiness is like unhappiness, a proactive choice
PROACTIVE MODEL
Responsibility = Response-ability
Proactive people:
Behavior in the product of ones decision based on
values
Personal leaders
Take the initiative and are solutions to problems
Successfully handle direct, indirect and no control
problems
PROACTIVE MODEL
Reactive people:
Behavior is the product of ones condition based
on feelings
Unhappy people who feel victimized and
immobilized, who focus on the weaknesses of
other people
Blame other people and circumstances they feel
are responsible for their own stagnant situation.
Reactive Language
Proactive Language
There's noting I can do
Lets look at our alternations
Thats just the way I am
I can choose a different approach
He makes me so mad
I control my own feelings
They wont allow that
I can create an effective presentation
I have to do that
I will choose an appropriate

response
I cant
I choose
I must
I prefer
If only
I will
Listen to your language and to

the language of the people
around you. How often do you
use and hear reactive phrases
as If only, or I have to
Self-Reflection Exercise
No Concern
Circle of Concern
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
Circle of
Circle of Influence
Concern
Circle of
Circle of Influence
Concern
PROACTIVE FOCUS
REACTIVE FOCUS
(Positive energy enlarges

the Circles of Influences)
(Negative energy reduces

the Circles of Influences)
Habit 2
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
1
Be
proactive
2
Begin
with the
End in Mind
Start with a clear understanding of your

destination
Picture deeply what kind of husbands, wife,
father or mother would you like to be?
What kind of son or daughter or cousin?
What kind of friend?
What kind of working associate?
Assumptions
Assume at your funeral, how would family,
colleague, friend, church, etc talk about you
Assume todays the last day in your life
Assume:
Body - Had a heart attack; Mind Life of
your profession is 2 years; Heart Other
person is clairvoyant; Spirit You met with
the Almighty
Habit Two
Begin with the End in Mind
The Habit of Personal Leadership
Mental Creation Precedes Physical Creation
To start with a clear understanding of your
destination.
Write your MISSION STATEMENT
Choose a Life Center
Create a personal mission statements = a

personal constitution, a frame of reference
Align your daily behavior with your life
objectives
Business = busy-ness
Climbing
the
ladder
of
success:
effectiveness vs. efficiency
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
Our deepest center:
Work
Family
Spouse/Husband
Friend
Religion
Self
Pleasure
Possessions
Money
Enemy
Security
CENTER
Power
Wisdom
Guidance
Our four life-supporting factors derive from

the very center of our circle of influence
SECURITY: Sense of worth, self esteem
& personal strength
GUIDANCE: Source of direction in life
WISDOM:
Perspective on life
POWER:
Decision making ability
A principle center:
Creating a solid changeless core, from which
flow the four life-support factors.
Correct principles do not change
a principle-centered person stands apart from

the emotion of the situation and evaluates the
options.
A principle center:
You wont be acted upon by other people or
circumstances
See change as an exciting adventure and
opportunity to make significant contributions.
Habit Two
Habit Two
Principle-Centered
Someone who is principle-centered bases decisions on
principles that govern human effectiveness. Principles are
the ideal core because they allow us to seek the best
alternative through conscious choice, knowledge and values.
Principle-centered people try to :
Stand apart from the emotion of a situation and from other
factors that would act on them.
Make proactive choices after evaluating options.
Habit Two
Mission Statement
A powerful document that expresses your personal sense of
Purpose and meaning in life. It acts as a governing
Constitution by which you evaluate decisions and choose
behaviors.
Define Leadership &

Management
Leadership deals with Direction
(Doing the right things)
Management deals with Speed,
Co-ordination, Logistics in moving
in that direction
(Doing the things RIGHT)
Take a few moment and write down your
roles as you now see them.
Area of Activity
Family
Friends
Work
Community
Services
Character
Contributions
Achievements
Self-Reflection Exercise cont

Are you satisfied with the mirror image of
your life?
Identify a project or a tasks that you will be
facing in the near future and apply the
principle of mental creation. Write down the
results you desire and what steps will lead
to those results.
Habit 3
PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
Things which
matter most must
never be a the
mercy of things
which matter
least.
Mission
Statement
Roles
Goals
LONG-TERM ORGANIZING
Schedule
Roles
Goals
Plans
Delegate
WEEKLY ORGANIZING
Two Factors to Define Any

Activity
Urgency - An activity is urgent if you or
others feel that it requires immediate
attention.
Importance - An activity is importance if
you personally find it valuable, and if it
contributes to your mission values, and
high-priority goals.
Time management matrix

I - Procrastinator
Urgent
Important
III Yes Man

Urgent
Not Important
2-Prioritizer
Not Urgent
Important
IV - Slacker
Not Urgent
Not Important
The Time Management Matrix
I
Urgent & Important
Results
Activities
Crises
Stress
Pressing problems
Burnout
Deadline-driven projects Putting out fires
II
Not urgent but Important
Activities
Results
Prevention, PC activities Vision

Relationships building
Balance
Recognizing new
opportunities
Discipline
Planning recreation
Few crises
Control
III
Urgent but Not Important
Activities
Interruptions, some calls

Some mail, some reports
Some meetings
Proximate, pressing
matters
Popular activities
Results
Short-term focus
Crisis management
Feel victimized, out of
control
Broken relationships
IV
Not Urgent & Not Important

Activities
Trivia, busy work

Some mail
Some phone calls
Time wasters
Pleasant activities
Results
Dependent on others
Total irresponsibility
Fired from jobs
Urgent
Not Important
Important
I
.
.
.
II
Crisis
Pressing problems
Deadline-driven projects,
meetings, preparations
III
.
.
.
.
.
Not Urgent
Interruptions, some
phone calls
Some mail, some reports
Some meetings
Many proximate,
pressing matters
Many popular activities
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Preparation
Prevention
Values clarification
Planning
Relationship building
True re-creation
Empowerment
IV
.
.
.
.
.
.
Trivia, busywork
Some phone calls
Time wasters
Escape activities
Irrelevant mail
Excessive TV
Habit Three - Put First things First

The Habit of Personal
Management
URGENT
NOT URGENT
Distraction
s
NOT IMPORTANT
IMPORTANT
Crises
Managemen
t
Attach to
Mission
Time
Wasters

Management
Effective people have genuine Quadrant 1 crises and emergencies
that require their immediate attention, but the number is
comparatively small. They keep P and PC in balance
by focusing on the important, but not urgent,
activities of Quadrant II

Management
Things which matter most must never be at the
mercy of things which matter least.
The Key is not to prioritize your schedule but

to schedule your priorities.

Management
Put First things First involves a six-step, QII process
That will help you act on the basis of importance.
Importance, in the context of Put first things First, is defined
By your mission statement and confirmed by your conscience.
The six steps can be used in weekly planning or as often as needed.
Connect to Mission
Review Roles
Identify Goals
Organize Weekly
Exercise Integrity
Evaluate
Identify a Quandrant II activity you know
has been neglected in your life-one that if
done well, would have significant impact in
your life, either personally or
professionally. Write it down and commit to
implement it.

Draw a time management matrix and try to
estimate what percentage of your time you
spend in each quadrant. Then log your time
for three days in fifteen-minute intervals.
How accurate was your estimate? Are you
satisfied with the way you spend your time.
What do you need to change?
Public Victory
PUBLIC
VICTORY
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
There can be
no
friendship
without
confidence,
and no
confidence
without
integrity.
PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL
LEADERSHIP
The p/pc balance in an interdependent
reality
The emotional bank account
The amount of trust built up in a relationship
The feeling of safeness that makes
communication easy, instant and effective
LEADERSHIP
Six major deposits
Understanding the individual
Uncover the persons deep interest or needs
Treat them all the same by treating them differently
Attending to the little things

Kindness and courtesies are the big things
LEADERSHIP
Six major deposits
Keeping commitments
Keep a promise you have made or explain the situation
and ask to be released from it.
Clarifying expectations
Conflicts arise form ambiguous expectations about roles
and goals
LEADERSHIP
Six major deposits
Showing personal integrity
Goes beyond honesty
Build the trust of those who are present by being loyal
to those who are not present
Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal
It is the weak who are cruel, gentleness can only be
expected from the strong
P problems are PC opportunities

Problems create the opportunity to build a
deep relationship the emotional bank
account that empowers us to work together
as a strong complementary team.
Habits One, Two & Three
The first three habits help develop a deep base of character and
personal security . Once these 3 habits become part of who you are
you are then ready to begin building rich enduring highly
productive relationships with other people and thats where habits
four, five and six come in.
Habits Four, Five & Six

These are the habits that lead to interdependent relationships.
Habit Four : Think Win-win
The attitude of seeking solutions, so that every one can win.
Do this by communicating. This is done by Habit Five
Habit Five : Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Habit Six : This is the habit of creative co-operation - Synergy
This happens when two sides in a dispute work together to come with
a solution which is better than what either side initially proposed.
Habit 4
THINK WIN WIN
Think
Win/Win
4
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
We have
committed the
Golden Rule to
memory; let us
now commit it to
life
Six Paradigms of human

interactions:
Win/win
Win/lose
Lose/win
Lose/Lose
Win
Win/win or no deal
Win/Win
Seeks for mutual benefit
All parties feel good about the decision and feel
committed to the action plan
Sees life as cooperative, not competitive
Theres plenty for everybody

Believes in the third alternative
Listens more, stays in communication longer, and

communicates with more courage.
Habit Four - Think Win-Win

The Habit of Interpersonal
Leadership
Win-Lose : People with a win-lose mindset are concerned with

themselves first and last. They want to win, and they want others to
lose. They achieve success at the expense or exclusion of anothers
success. They are driven by comparison, competition, position, and
power.
Characteristics
Is very common scripting for most people
Is the authoritarian approach.
Uses position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get
the Win.

Leadership
Lose-Win : People who choose to lose and let others win show high
consideration for others, but lack the courage to express and act on
their feelings and beliefs. They are easily intimidated and borrow
strength from acceptance and popularity.
Characteristics
Voices no standards, no demands, no expectations of anyone else.
Is quick to please or appease.
Buries a lot of feelings.

Leadership
Lose-Lose : People who have a lose-lose paradigm are low on

courage and consideration. They envy and criticize others. They
put themselves and others down.
Characteristics
Is the mindset of a highly dependent person.
Is the same as a no win because nobody benefits.
Is a long-term result of a win-lose, lose-win, or win.

Leadership
Win : People who hold a win paradigm think only of getting what
they want. Although they dont necessarily want others to lose,
they are personally set on winning. They think independently in
interdependent situations, without sensitivity or awareness of others.
Characteristics
Is self-centered.
Thinks me first.
Doesnt really care if the other person wins or loses.
Has a Scarcity Mentality.

Leadership
Win-Win or No Deal : Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form of

win-win. People who adopt this paradigm seek first for win-win. If
they cannot find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree
agreeably.
Characteristics
Allows each party to say no.
Is the most realistic at the beginning of a relationship or business
deal.
Is the highest form of Win.
Five Dimensions of Win/Win
Win/Win
Character
Win/Win
Relationship
Win/Win
Agreements
Supportive Systems (4) and Processes (5)
Character
Three character traits essential to the win/win
paradigms:
Integrity: make and keep meaningful promises and
commitments. People of Integrity are true to their
feelings, values and commitments.
Maturity:
The balance between courage and consideration
The ability to express ones won feelings and
convictions balanced with consideration of the
thoughts and feelings of others
Abundance Mentality
Scarcity Mentality
Theres only one pie
Abundance Mentality
There is plenty for
everybody
Sense of worth and

Define themselves form
security comes from being within
compared
Deep inner sense of worth
and security
Someone elses success
Someone else's success is
means their failure
our success sharing it.
Relationships
(Character Trust, EBA)
Agreements
(Relationships performance agreement)
Five elements to agree on in a win/win agreement
Desired results: Clarify the end in mind, objectives and
outcome.
Guidelines: Specify boundaries and deadlines for
accomplishing the results within which results are to be
accomplished
Resources: human, financial, technical, support to help
accomplish the results
Accountability: sets up the standards of performance and the
time of evaluation. Identify the standards and methods of
measurement for progress and accomplishment.
Consequences: Determine/Evaluate the result (s) of achieving
or not achieving win-win
Systems
Should be supportive (reward guidelines, available resources)
Don't talk cooperation
(win/lose)
(win/win) and practice competition
You can best achieve win-win solutions with win-win systems and
processes. But if Changing your systems to win-win feels
overwhelming and out of reach, remember to work from the inside
out. As you first develop a win-win character and then Win-Win
Agreements and relationships, you will expand your Circle of
Influence and be Able to work on processes.
Processes:
A four-step process:
1st see the problem from the other point of view
2nd identify the key issues and concerns
3rd determine what results would constitute a fully

acceptable solutions
4th identify BATNA to achieve those results
3. Understanding Negotiators Surplus

Total Negotiating Range (TNR)
Buyers
Entry
Point
Distributive
Bargaining Diagram
Buyers Sellers Exit Point

Exit
Point
=> No deal /
Gap
Deadlock
Sellers
Entry
Point
Buyers Negotiating Range

Sellers Negotiating Range
For an agreement to be made,

It is important for the exit points of
Both parties to overlap, or at least
Meet produce the Negotiators surplus
but the dilemma is.
Settlement
Range
Sellers
Surplus
Settlement Price (or

Negotiating Surplus)
Buyers
Surplus
101
5. Negotiation Styles
There are two extreme end to a negotiators style Blue and Red.
Styles of negotiators can be ranged from the assertive blue to purple
to the aggressive red.
Aggressive
Red
Purple
Shade of Red
Shade of Blue
RED
BLUE
More for me means more for
you non zero sum gain.
More for me means less for

you zero sum gain
Aggresively competitive
Prefer to dominate
Seek to win
All deals are one off
Which is best
Style to
Practice in
Negotiation?
R + B = Purple
Favour bluff or coerce (threats or
Takers- Exploit the submissive
Assertively competitive
Prefer mutual respect
Seek to succeed
All deals lead to other deals
Prefer to be open and non
manipulative
Use ploys and tactics

force)
Assertive
Blue
Know
when
to be
tough
Know
when
to be
soft
Doesnt bluff or coerce

Givers seek cooperation
102
5. Negotiation Styles How to Face a Red

Negotiator?
It takes time to built up trust.

Playing red is self-defeating, ending in a L-L situation.
Communication helps to improve cooperation.
Apply exchange principle (If you give me ., then I will
give you .) The Purple Stylist.
How to Behave?
1. Be patience
2. Stay cool, try to calm TOS.
How to Handle?
3. Make neutral statements. can

influence perception of TOS and
outcome of a negotiation.
1. Dont interrupt
4. Give assurance but not give in.

Showing TOS we are positive.
3. Dont blame
5. Summarise frequently
6. Ask open questions
7. Check body language
8. Look into their eyes
2. Dont assert/assume
4. Dont block
5. Dont be irritated
6. Dont threaten
7. Dont agree with his/her
explanation
103
Role Play on Negotiation
Habit 5
SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE
UNDERSTOOD
Seek First to Understand

Then to be
Understood
5
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
The heart has

its reasons
which reason
knows not of.

Four common levels for listening:
Ignoring: Making no effort to listen
Practice pretending: Making believe or giving the
appearance you are listening
Practice selective listening: Hearing only the parts of
the conversation that interest you.
Attentive listening: Paying attention and focusing on
what the speaker says, and comparing that to your own
experiences.

Seek first to understand: Fifth level: Empathic
listening (most effective level):

Requires high levels of consideration
Deep understanding of the problem first

Requires more than practicing listening techniques
Its listening with intent to understand (changing our
perceptions)

Get inside another persons frame of reference
and see things the way he sees it

Increases our influence-ability (more & accurate
information to work with)
It ensures peoples psychological survival
(psychological air)
It is diagnosing before prescribing

Then seek to be understood
Requires high level of courage
Equally critical in reaching win/win solutions.
Perceptual Position
Select a relationship in which you sense the
Emotional Bank Account is red. Try to
understand other persons of view by using
the perceptual positioning exercise.
Habit 6
SYNERGIZE
Take as a guide:
Synergize
6
In crucial things
unity
In Important things
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
diversity
In all thing
generosity.
Principles of Creative Cooperation

LEVELS OF COMMUNCIATION
High
Synergistic (Win/Win)
Respectful (Compromise)
TRUST
Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/win)

Low
Low
COOPERATION
High
Deeply understanding each other becomes the

stepping stones to synergy
Synergy means that the whole is greater than the

sum of its parts
One plus one equals three or more.
Identifying a third synergistic alternative/solution
that will be better for everyone concerned.
Habit Six - Synergize

The Habit of Creative Cooperation
Synergy
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Synergy takes place when two or more people
produce more together than the sum of what
they could have produces separately.

To Synergize is
Results-oriented, positive synergy
To Synergize is Not
A brainstorming free-for-all.
Examining exploring, seeking diverse

perspectives openly enough to alter or
complete your paradigm
Accepting others ideas as full truth.
Cooperating
Win-lose competition.
Having a mutually agreed-upon end in mind.
Group think (giving in to peer pressure).
Worth the effort and highly effective
Always easy.
A process.
Only a negotiation technique.

Problem
or
Opportunity
Synergize
Third Alternative
Habits 4,5, & 6

The Action
and Process
SYNERGY
The Result

Anger
Defensiveness
Anxiety
Fear
Fixation
Jealousy
Ego

The essence of synergy is valuing the differences. Valuing the differences

does not imply that individuals approve of or agree with differences;
however it does mean that people respect differences and view them
as opportunities for learning. The differing opinions of others and their
viewpoints, perspectives, talents and gifts are valuable when seeking
solutions. These differences enable you to discover and produce things
together that you would much less likely discover and produce
individually. At what level do you value the differences ?

Celebrate
Value
Accept
Tolerate
Make a list of people who irritate you. Do
they represent different views that could
lead to synergy if you had greater intrinsic
security and valued difference?

Identify a situation in which you desire
greater teamwork and synergy. What
conditions would need to exist to support
synergy? What can you do to create those
conditions?
Habit 7
SHARPEN THE SAW
PRINCIPLES OF BALANCED SELF-RENEWAL
3
Put First
Things First
1
Be
proactive
Sometimes
when I
consider what
tremendous
consequences
come from
little things
I am tempted
to think..
There are no
little things.
Its preserving and enhancing personal PC.

The greatest asset we have. Its we.
PHYSICAL
Exercise, Nutrition,
Stress Management
SOCIAL
Service, Empathy,
Synergy, Intrinsic
Security
MENTAL
Reading, Visualizing,
Planning, Writing
SPIRITUAL
Value Clarification &
Commitment, Study &
Meditation
Habit Seven - Sharpen the Saw

The Habit of Renewal
Sharpen the Saw is a daily process of renewing for four dimensions of

our nature : Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Social / Emotional.
These four dimensions sustain and increase our capacities and help us
discipline our mind, body and spirit. This daily private victory is a
victory over self. Not only does the daily Private victory stimulate growth,
but it also helps us to achieve the Public Victory. As we achieve these
victories through renewal, we cultivate and nurture the other six habits.

We can sharpen the Saw in Four Areas :

Physical (Body):
We build physical wellness through proper nutrition, exercise, rest
And stress management.
Mental (Mind) :
We increase mental capacity through, reading, writing, and thinking.

We can sharpen the Saw in Four Areas :
Spiritual (Spirit):
We develop spiritually through reading inspiring literature, through
meditating and praying and through spending time with nature.
Social / Emotional (Other Relationships) :
We mature socially and emotionally by making consistent, daily
Deposits in the Emotional Bank Account of our key relationships.
Its exercising the four dimensions of our

nature regularly and consistently, in wise
and balanced way.
The Upward Spiral of Growth

Success is a long journey, not a destination
A thousand-mile journey begins with the

first step. And can only be taken one step
at a time.
How can we remember our ignorance
which our growth requires, when we are
using our knowledge all the time.
The upward spiral of growth
Make a list of activities that would help you
keep in good emotional state, that would fit
your life-style and that you could enjoy over
time.

List relastionships you would like to
improve or specific circumstances in which
public victory would bring greater
effectiveness.
PARADIGM SHIFTS
A BREAK FROM
TRADITIONAL WISDOM
TOWARD
7 HABITS PRINCIPLES
Habit 1
We are a product of our environment

and upbringing.
Habit 2
Society is the source of our values.
Habit 3
Reactive to the tyranny of the urgent.

Acted upon by the environment.
We are a product of our choices to our

environment and upbringing.
Values are self-chosen and provide
foundation for decision making. Values
flow out of principles.
Actions flow from that which is
important.
Habit 4
Win-lose.
One-sided benefit.
Win-win.
Mutual benefit.
Habit 5
Fight, flight, or compromise when

faced with conflict.
Communication solves problems.
Habit 6
Differences are threats.

Independence is the highest value.
Unity means sameness.
Entropy.
Burnout on one track - typically work.
Differences are values and are

opportunities for synergy.
Habit 7
Continuous self-renewal and selfimprovement.
BE PROACTIVE
I can forgive, forget, and let
go of past injustices
I choose my attitude,
emotions, and moods
Im the creative force
of my life
Im aware that Im
responsible
SEVEN HABITS OF
HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 1
Be Proactive.
Be Reactive.
Proactive people take

responsibility for their own
lives. They determine the
agendas they will follow
and choose their response
to what happens around
them.
Reactive people dont take

responsibility for their own
lives. They feel victimized, a
product of circumstances,
their past, and other
people. They do not see as
the creative force of their
lives.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 2
Begin with the End in

Mind. These people use
personal vision, correct

principles, and their deep
sense of personal meaning
to accomplish tasks in a
positive and effective way.
They live life based on
self-chosen values and are
guided by their personal
mission statement.
Begin with No End in Mind.
These people lack personal

vision and have not
developed a deep sense of
personal meaning and
purpose. They have not
paid the price to develop a
mission statement and thus
live life based on societys
values instead of selfchosen values.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 3
Put First Things First.
These people exercise

discipline, and they plan
and execute according to
priorities. They also walk
their talk and spend
significant time in Quadrant
II.
Put Second Things First.
These people are crisis

managers who are unable
to stay focused on highleverage tasks because of
their preoccupation with
circumstances, their past,
or other people. They are
caught up in the thick of
thin things and are driven
by the urgent.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 4
Think Win-Win.
These people have an
abundance mentality and
the spirit of cooperation.
They achieve effective
communication and high
trust levels in their
Emotional Bank Accounts
with others, resulting in
rewarding relationships and
greater power to influence.
Think Win-Lose or Lose-Win.

These people have a
scarcity mentality and see
life as a zero-sum game.
They have ineffective
communication skills and
low trust levels in their
Emotional Bank Accounts
with others, resulting in a
defensive mentality and
adversarial feelings.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 5
Seek First to Understand,

Then to Be Understood.
Through perceptive
observation and empathic
listening, these nonjudgmental people are
intent on learning the
needs, interests, and
concerns of others. They
are then able to
courageously state their
own needs and wants.
Seek First to Be Understood.
These people put forth their

point of view based solely
on their auto-biography
and motives, without
attempting to understand
others first. They blindly
prescribe without first
diagnosing the problem.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 6
Synergize.
Effective people
know that the whole is
greater than the sum of
the parts. They value and
benefit from differences in
others, which results in
creative cooperation and
team-work.
Compromise, Fight, or Flight.
Ineffective people believe

the whole is less than
the sum of the parts. They
try
to clone other people
in their own image.
Differences in others are
looked upon as threats.
SEVEN HABITS OF
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 7
Sharpen the Saw.
Effective people are

involved in self-renewal
and self-improvement in
the physical, mental,
spiritual, and socialemotional areas, which
enhance all areas off their
life and nurture the other
six habits.
Wear Out the Saw.
Ineffective people fall back,

lose their interest, and get
disordered. They lack a
program of self-renewal
and self-improvement and
eventually lose the cutting
edge they once had.
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
SEVEN PRINCIPLES UPON

WHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED
The Seven Habits center on
timeless and universal principles of
personal, interpersonal, managerial,
and organizational effectiveness.
Listed below are the seven
principles upon which the Seven
Habits are based-principles which
are in our circle of influence.

1.
The principle of continuous learning, of selfreeducation - the discipline that drives us

toward the values we believe in. Such
constant learning is required in todays
world, in light of the fact that many of us can
expect to work in up to five radically
different fields before we retire.
2.
The principle of service, of giving oneself to

others, of helping to facilitate other peoples
work.

3.
The principle of staying positive and optimistic, radiating
positive energy - including avoiding the four emotional cancers
(criticizing, complaining, comparing, and competing).
4.
The principle of affirmation of others - treating people as
proactive individuals who have great potential.
5.
The principle of balance - the ability to identify our
various roles and to spend appropriate amounts of time in, and
focus on, all the important roles and dimensions of our life.
Success in one area of our life cannot compensate for neglect or
failure in other areas of our life.

6.
The balance of spontaneity and serendipity the ability to experience life with a sense of
adventure, excitement, and fresh rediscovery,
instead of trying to find a serious side to
things that have no serious side.
7.
The principle of consistent self-renewal and

self- improvement in the four dimensions of
ones life: physical, mental, spiritual, and
social emotional.
PYRAMID OF INFLUENCE
TEACHING
RELATIONSHIP
EXAMPLE
EFFECTIVE HABITS
Knowledge
(what to, why to)
HABITS
Skills
(how to)
Desire
(want to)
CHARACTER
COMPETENCE
Integrity
Maturity
Abundance Mentality
Interdependency
JUDGEMENT
Technical skills
Qualifications
Knowledge
Experience
FOUR UNIQUE
HUMAN ENDOWMENTS
1.
2.
3.
4.
Self-awareness
Conscience
Imagination
Willpower
FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS

1.
Self-Awareness
We begin to become self-aware and
explore the programs we are living out. We
come to realize that we stand apart from our
programming and can even examine it. We
also realize that between stimulus and
response, we have the freedom to choose. This
self-awareness then leads to the ability to look
at other unique endowments in our secret life.
FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN

ENDOWMENTS
2.
Conscience
Our conscience is our internal sense of

right and wrong, our moral nature. It is the
greater harmonizer and balance wheel of
all the principles that govern our behavior. Our
conscience gives us a sense of the degree to
which our thoughts and actions are in harmony
with our principles.
FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN

ENDOWMENTS
3.
Power of Imagination
We can visit the power of the mind to

create or to imagine that which does not exist
now. In that imagination lie our faith and our
hope for the future. We look at what is possible,
what we can envision.
FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN

ENDOWMENTS
4.
Willpower or Independent Will

Willpower refers to our determination,
our resoluteness - our ability to act based
solely on our self-awareness. We ask
ourselves, Am I really willing to to the
distance on my mission statement? Am I
willing to walk my talk? Am I really willing
to put first things first in spite of external
distractions and pressures? Am I going to
live a life of total integrity?
BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF
GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS
Developing a mission statement is
foundational to Habit 2, Begin with the
End in Mind. It sets general guidelines for
our life based on our values and our roles
and goals. There are four basic
characteristics of good mission
statements, whether they be personal,
family, or organizational mission
statements.
1.
A mission statement should be timeless and changeless.
Because goals are not timeless, they should not be included.
Mission statements should be based upon unchanging core
principles that operate regardless of present realities or
situations. This changeless core will enable us to live with
changes inside other people and inside the environment. As
our consciousness grows and we mature, we will gradually
strengthen, deepen, and improve our mission statement.
Nevertheless, we should always initially write our mission
statement as if it will never change - as if it were timeless.
2.
A mission statement should deal with both

ends and means. Ends have to do with what
we are about. Means have to do with how we
go about achieving those ends. Principles are
what we implements to achieve those ends.
Ends and means are inseparable. In truth,
ends preexist in the means. Youll never
achieve a worthy end through unworthy
means.
3.
A mission statement should deal with all

four of our basic needs:
a.
To live (our physical
and economic
needs)
b.
To love and to
be loved (our cultural and
social ends)
c.
To learn (our needs to
grow, develop, be
recognized, and be useful)
d.
To leave a legacy (our spiritual
need for
meaning, for feeling that life matters,
4. A mission statement should deal with all the
significant roles of our life, such as a parent, teacher,
manager, neighbor, and so forth.
Internalizing our mission statement will also help us
get a clear understanding of what is truly important.
Goethe once said, Things which matter most must
never be at the mercy of things which matter least.
This means that we learn how to say no at appropriate
times. Every time we say yes to something that is of
little or no importance, we are saying no to something
that is more important. Almost every day, most of us
are caught in circumstances where we should say no
but dont. We often lack the ability to utter a firm but
gracious no.
SIX LEVELS OF INITIATIVE

6
Use own judgement, not necessary to report
5
Use own judgement, report routinely
4
Use own judgement, report immediately
3
Bring recommendations
2
Ask for instructions
1
Wait for instructions
PERSONAL IMMUNE SYSTEM
Time wasters
Interruptions
Live the Seven Habits

Spend time
in Quadrant II
Follow correct
principles
Pressing
problems
Crises
Control own life

Maintain high
Emotional Bank
Account with self
and others
Maintain reserve
capacity
Be resilient
Empower and
serve others
Communicate
Empathically
Synergize with
others using a
win-win approach
Duplicity
Unkindness
Violated
expectations
Outside stress
and pressures
EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT
The 7 habits of highly effective people is a

holistic, integrated, principle centered
approach for solving our personal and
professional problems
Principles that give us the security to adapt
to change and the wisdom and power to take
advantage of the opportunities that change
creates.

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The Seven Habits of Highly

This workshop is useful for:Mind set changes

Common deep personal & professional problems:

How can one really congratulate a friend enthusiastically for

The 7 Habits of Highly

Principles of Personal Vision

Begin with the end in mind

Put First Things First

Principles of Empathic Communication

Principles of Creative Cooperation

Sharpen the SawPrinciples of Balanced Self-Renewal

Habit 7 is preserving and enhancing the

The Key for Successful Living

Focus on attitude and To change the situation first

Works in short term situation Has personal worth in the

The Key for Successful Living

The Power of a Paradigm

Two people can see the same thing,

Can we create a HABIT?

We are what we repeatedly do

Effectiveness is defined as p/pc

The Seven Habits Paradigm

Principles of Personal Leadership

Principles of Personal Leadership

The Maturity Continuum

Character & Personality

Character & Competence

A person with high character

Character & Competence

EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

Three theories of determinism affecting our

Habit One : Be Proactive

Happiness is like unhappiness, a proactive choice

There's noting I can do

Lets look at our alternations

Thats just the way I am

I can choose a different approach

I control my own feelings

They wont allow that

I can create an effective presentation

I will choose an appropriate

Listen to your language and to

(Positive energy enlarges

(Negative energy reduces

Start with a clear understanding of your

Create a personal mission statements = a

Our deepest center:

Our four life-supporting factors derive from

Decision making ability

a principle-centered person stands apart from

Define Leadership &

Self-Reflection Exercise cont

Two Factors to Define Any

Time management matrix

III Yes Man

The Time Management Matrix

Deadline-driven projects Putting out fires

The Time Management Matrix

Prevention, PC activities Vision

The Time Management Matrix

Interruptions, some calls

The Time Management Matrix