Working with Difficult People

Compilation- Padmavathi
ADITI TECHNOLOGIES Pvt Ltd

Lets Know
Why people are difficult
Types of difficult behavior
Coping skills and techniques to help you
communicate

Why Are People Difficult?

People feel
Rushed not enough time
Insecure
Angry
And have some need or interest

Stressed!!!

Scenario 1

A Difficult Person Can Be ...

Hostile-Aggressive
Know-It-All
Yes-Person
Whiner
Never-Say-A-Word
Indecisive Staller
No-Person

Hostile Aggressive
AKA The Tank
Bullies their way toward
the results they want.
Belittles you in front of anyone.
Tries to convince you that you are
doing a poor job when you are doing
fine.

The Know-It-All
Controls people and events by dominating
conversation with lengthy, imperious
arguments.
Tries to find flaws in
everything.

The Yes-Person
Answers Yes to every request without
thinking about what is being promised .
Has deep-seated anxiety and a lot of
resentment.
Seeks approval and avoids disapproval.
And even if all the promises can be kept,
the Yes-Person no longer has a life!

The No-Person

Able to defeat big ideas with a single

syllable
Deadly to morale

The Whiner

Avoids taking responsibility.

Wants sympathy.
Has negative view of the world.
Its important for these people to get their
opinions across. If you ignore them, they
increase their protests.

The Never-Say-A-Word
AKA The Clam
Timid, uncomfortable, and uncertain.
Wants to avoid conflict or hurting anyone.
Often feels angry because the wrong
decision was made.
Some cant relate authentically or speak
honestly.

The Indecisive Staller

Could be an overwhelmed Yes-Person.

Could be a procrastinator.
Has reservations about the project.
Doesnt organize or
prioritize work.

Difficult Person :Coping

Plan

1.Assess the Situation

2. Stop wishing they were different!
3. Get distance between you and the difficult
behavior
4. Formulate a plan for interrupting the
interaction
5. Implement strategy
6. Monitor coping process
7. Modify or abandon plan, if necessary

Dealing with The Tank

If possible, get them to sit down.
Dont back down. Let them vent. Dont take
it personally. Step away from the emotion.
Identify their issuethe facts of the matter.
Explain benefits of your point of view.
Express your side in factual terms.
Allow aggressor to save face.

Dealing with the Know-It-All

Know your facts. Be prepared.
Listen carefully and paraphrase the main
points.
Use questions to raise issues.
If necessary, subordinate yourself to avoid
static and commit yourself to building a
more equal relationship in the future.

Dealing with the Yes-Person

Work to get to the underlying issues.

Tell how much you value them as people.
Give them permission to say No.
Ask them to tell about any aspect of your
product that is not as good as the best.
Listen to their humor -- hidden messages?

Dealing with the No-Person

Work to get to the underlying issues.

Find out the reason for disagreement
Show the other side
Show the benefits

Dealing with the Whiner

Dont respond if they are blaming you.
Dont sympathize if they are at fault.
Make a list of all complaints from constant
complainers before you discuss problem.
Make sure the facts are correct.
Make the Whiner propose solutions to fix
the problem.

Dealing with The Clam

Try to draw them out about topics that are
non-threatening.
Ask open-ended questions.
Wait for a response -- calmly.
(Dont fill the silence with your chatter.)
If you get no response, comment on whats
happening. End your comment with an openended question.

Dealing with the Staller

Help document their goals and deadlines
Listen for indirect words, hesitations.
Ask them how you can help them achieve their
goals.
Follow up on intermediate deadlines.
Hold them to the deadlines.
Make it easy for them to tell you what is
preventing their action.

Scenario 2

And What
About
You...

Its All About ATTITUDE!

You are not going to change THEM.

You will have to work with THEM.
You are the one who can make the change.
Make it happen!
Be Positive

Principles of Human Behavior

All people are motivated .
You cannot motivate others ; you can
provide the environment, skills, etc.
People do things for their reasons, not ours.
We are all different...
Relationships should complement and
complete each other.

Communication Is The Key...

Be clear about what is to be done.
Be clear about who is to do it.
Two parts to the message
Speaker has an image
Listener has an image
Are they the same?

Offline Coping Techniques

Dont take their behavior or words
personally.
Write down details of what annoys you.
Think about why it annoys you.
Which of your buttons does this person
push? Why do you respond to them in the
way you do?

Offline Coping Techniques (continued)

How would you like to respond? List the
advantages of different responses.
Monitor yourself.
Give yourself positive feedback when you
succeed in not getting caught up in the
emotions of difficult people.
Be a happier person by handling all those you
encounter with charm and grace.

Some Final Tips

Give support where needed.
Be an information broker.
Learn to keep it light.

Dont forget to
smile.