Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Book Author: Stephen Covey

:Presented By
Ahmed El Aawar
 CHALLENGES
 My Children

are so disobedient , They just do not follow my

instructions !!!

 My Family

is very important to me , But I just don’t have enough

time for them !!!
 CHALLENGES
 WOMEN Say:
“ I only need love , Care & My husband to listen to me .”
Why can’t they give they give these simple Rights !!!

 MEN Say:
“ I only need Trust , Appreciation & Time for myself .”
Why Woman act this Way!!!
 CHALLENGES
• Our Children’s generation is a disaster. What will they
become .How will they treat us when they grow up !!!
• BAD Influences are every where !
- TV .
- CLUB .
- BAD Friends .
- People’s Moralities

How Can we protect our children from all this !!!

 CHALLENGES

• I want to be good BUT I can’t , Every time I initiate

something it just fades away?!

• I want to be my child’s best friend but its too touch.

• I want to have a disciplined , well organized home.

BUT
NO ONE IS COOPERATING!!!
 CHALLENGES
• Sometimes my child really Embarasses me in front of
people , I really do not know what to do?!

• How Can I balance time between

Work
& Family
& Religion
& Myself
IT NEVER WORKS??!!
 CHALLENGES
Believe it or not.
We will ENSHALLAH
Answer & Clarify
All these
Challenges & Concerns.
 Personality and character Ethics

Personalit
What youysay and do 20%
What people can see

Charact
80%
er really are
What you
Your inside
 Personality and character Ethics

:Personality
Say
Do
20%
Skills & techniques
Public
Lubricate the process
Of human interaction
Character:
Integrity
Fidelity
Humility
Patience
Justice
80%
Modesty, simplicity
Courage, temperance
‫‪Character:‬‬
‫‪Integrity‬‬
‫‪Fidelity‬‬
‫‪Humility‬‬
‫‪Patience‬‬
‫‪Justice‬‬ ‫‪80%‬‬
‫من أصلح سريرته‬
‫أصلح ال علنيته ‪,‬‬
‫‪Modesty, simplicity‬‬ ‫و من أصلح ما بينه و بين نفسه‬
‫أصلح ال ما بينه و بين الناس‬
‫‪Courage, temperance‬‬
‫نية المؤمن خير من‬
‫عمله‬
ACTS AND BEHAVIOUR ARE FORMED FROM:

[=
KNOWLEDGE.1
20%
SKILLS/ABILITIES.2

PARADIGM.3 [= 80%
 Paradigm

It is the lens through which we see the

world
It is our POINT-OF-VIEW
(the closer the clearer, the higher the bigger)
 The power of the paradigm

Paradigm lens

YOU

We think we see the world as it is

NO
We see the world as we were conditioned to see it
 CHANGE MODEL

VALUE
S SEE

PRINCIPLES
DO THINK
 ‫‪Paradigm Shift‬‬

‫‪VALUE‬‬ ‫رؤية قرب الموت‬

‫‪S‬‬ ‫‪SEE‬‬

‫‪PRINCIPLES‬‬

‫العمل لما بعد الموت‬ ‫‪DO‬‬ ‫‪THINK‬‬ ‫ذكر الموت‬

‫بسم ال الرحمن الرحيم‬

‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫اااا‬
‫صدق ال العظيم‬
‫اااا‬ ‫ا‬‫ا‬‫ا‬ ‫اااا‬ ‫ااااا‬ ‫اااا‬
 A Habit: defined (contd.)
A HABIT IS SOMETHING WE DO REPEATEDLY
UNCONCIOUSLY, (IT REQUIRES):

Knowledge  Skills Desire

We make habits and then habits make us!

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a

habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character,
reap a destiny.
 Values and Principles
Values: Principles:
self chosen, internal, universal, timeless,
unpredictable. predictable, External.

PRINCIPLES ARE THE NATURAL LAWS OF GOD

‫بسم ال الرحمن الرحيم‬

ً ‫“ ولن تجد لسنة الله تبديل ً ولن تجد لسنة الله تحوي‬
“‫ل‬
‫صدق ال العظيم‬
 Maturity Continuum
It is the outline of the
(Seven habits of highly effective people)

Dependence YOU

Independence I

Interdependence WE

“EMOTIONAL MATURITY IS NOT TIED WITH AGE”

 Seven Habits Paradigm

Interdependence
5 Seek 1st to 6
Understand Public Synergize
.. Victory
7
4 Think Win/Win
Sharpen
The saw Independence
3 Put 1st things 1st
Private 2
1
Be proactive Victory
Begin with end
in mind
Dependence
 Habit One
Be Proactive
 Habit One: Be Proactive

:Pavlov Theory

- We have 3 types of determinism:

• Genetic: What your ancestors did to you.
• Psychic: What your parents did to you.
• Environmental: Situations and people around you.
 ‫‪This is ok for‬‬

‫‪Animals‬‬
‫!!!‪not humans‬‬

‫بسم ال الرحمن الرحيم‬

‫أضل“‬
‫صدق ال العظيم‬
‫هم‬ ‫بل‬ ‫كالنعام‬ ‫”أولئك‬
 Habit One:
.(Be Proactive (Contd

• As a human you always have the freedom to choose.

• Morals and behaviors are not inherited.

 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Freedom to
Stimulus choose Response

Self Awareness Independent Will

Self Imagination Self

Conscious

Proactive Model
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Be a Transitional Figure

Genetic Psychic Environ.

Freedom to choose

Different response
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
• Reactive Persons • Proactive Persons

– There is nothing I can do – Let’s look at other alternatives

– That’s just the way I’m – I can choose a different

approach
– He makes me so mad
– I control my own feelings
– They won’t allow that
– I will choose an appropriate
response
– I can’t
– I must – I choose
– If only – I prefer
– I will
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Circle of Concern Circle of Concern
Circle Circle
Of Of
influence influence

Reactive Proactive
Negative energy Positive Energy
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
• All the problems we face can be:
– Direct Control: yourself
– Indirect Control: others
– No Control: weather- natural catastrophes
• Believe this: You always have the 1st key for
solving the problem
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
• Conclusions:
– You are the programmer of your life.
– Do not live to eat and have pleasure or you do not deserve
to be a human.
– Work on your Circle of Influence.

• Ghandi: They cannot take our self respect unless we

give it to them.
 Habit Two
Begin with the end in
mind
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind

• Habit One: You are the programmer of your life

• Habit Two: Program your life

– Mental creation precedes physical creation
– Use self Imagination

• What is your end in mind?

– To decide this you need to know the center of your paradigm
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind
Security
Circle Of
concern
Wisdom CENTER Guidance

Center

Power
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind
k
or
What is your CENTER?! Se
W Friends
lf
M
on
What most makes You happy? e y

u se n
o F am o
What most Irritates you? Sp ily ss
i
s e
s
Po

e
urs
ea
Pl
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind
Family Money

Friend Possession
PRINCIPLES
Pleasure
Spouse

Self Work

Principles – Centered Paradigm ‫بسم ال الرحمن الرحيم‬

‫وا إنما الحيوة الدنيا لعب و لهو و زينة و تفاخر بينكم و تكاثر فى الموال و ال‬
‫صدق ال العظيم‬
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind

• Conclusions:
– Know yourself, know your center

– Try to have a principles-centered paradigm

– Program your life: Mission Statement

 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First

• Habit One: You are the programmer

• Habit Two: Program your life

– Use: Self Imagination

• Habit Three: Do the program, live the program

– Use: Independent Will
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
• What we are able to do is much more that we
actually do.

• Awaken your sleeping tiger. Give it a twist in the

tail.

• Things that matter most should never be under the

mercy of things that matter least.
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
1URGENT IMPORTANT 2 IMPORTANT NOT
URGENT
IMPORTANCE

Crises, Pressing problems,

Religion, relation building,
Deadline driven projects
Training, exercise, recreation

3 URGENT 4 NOT URGENT

NOT IMPORTANT NOT IMPORTANT
Time wasters, pleasant activities,
Interruptions, calls, meetings,
Popular activities Going out

URGENCY
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
1 2

Vision, perception
Balance
Discipline
Control
Few Crises

A Proactive Person
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
• Conclusions:
– Live your program but put first things first.
– Schedule your properties but do not prioritize your
schedule.
– Give your sleeping tiger a twist in the tail.
– What you are able to do is much more that you
actually do.
 Private Victory
• Working on the 80%:
character, paradigm
• Private victory precedes
public victory.
• Without private victory
 Chronic Pains: from
inside 80%
PRINCIPLES
CENTERED
PARADIGM
 Acute pains: from others

Paradigm Shift
 Emotional Bank

It is a metaphor that describes the

amount of TRUST that has

been built up in a relationship.

 Emotional Bank
Any Say or Do in a relationship can be:

(+)DEPOSIT (-)WITHDRAWEL
100+ 300-
500+ 200-
600+ 700-
1100= 1200=
 Emotional Bank:
Six Main Deposits

• Understanding People
– man/women, children, different centers.
• Attending to little things:
– Little things are the big things
• Keeping Commitments
 Emotional Bank:
Six Main Deposits
• Clarifying expectations
– ALLAH, marriage

• Showing personal integrity

– Union of personality and character

• Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal

– This never hurts your dignity.
 Habit Four
Think Win/Win
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win

It is the habit of the 3rd alternative:

It is not my way, it is not your way, it is a
better way
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
• Different interactive paradigms: • Win
– Win/Win • I win, no matter
the other end.

– Lose/Win
– Lose/Lose
• Psychomosotic
• Devil

– Win/Lose
• selfish
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
Dimensions of the Win/Win Approach
• Character:
– Integrity:
• Union between character and personality
– Maturity:
• Courage to express your opinion and respect and
appreciate the others’
– Abundance Mentality:
• There is always room for everyone
• Opposite to scarcity mentality: selfishness
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win

Lose/Win Win/Win

Lose/Lose Win/Lose
noit ar e di s no C

Courage
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
Dimensions of the Win/Win Approach (Contd.)
• Relationships:
– Based on emotional bank
– Aware of the account
– Many withdrawals less trust  no win/win
• Agreements:
– Agree on: targets, plans, methods, consequences,
good or bad
• Systems and processes: Gods’ system
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
• Conclusions:
– It is not my way, it is not your way, it is a better
way.
– Win/Win means courage and consideration
– Integrity, maturity, abundance mentality
– There is always room for everyone
– Be aware of your emotional bank accounts
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand
then to be understood
 Habit Five:
….Seek first to understand
• We were taught how to talk, walk, write but to

listen….????

• You are 100% responsible for communication with

the others whether you are sending or receiving .

 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

Most people either speak or prepare to speak or

listen to judge and criticize.

COLLECTIVE MONOLOGUE
(THE DIALOGUE OF DEATH!!!(
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Listening:
– 7%: words
7%
– 38%: vocals
55%
– 55%: non-verbal 38%

• impressions
• Eye looks (100%
expressing)
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Levels of listening:
– Ignorive
– Pretentive: nodding and humming
– Selective
– Attentive: focus on the words
– Empathic:
• Listens to understand
• Gets what behind the words
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• BECAUSE WE LISTEN THROUGH OUR OWN
PARADIGM WE TEND TO:
-Probe
- Evaluate
- Interpret
- Advice
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

Levels of misunderstanding:
1. Appearance: age, gender, language, clothing
2. Association: work, education, home, club
3. Interests: hobbies, friends
4. Thoughts
5. Values and believes: paradigm
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

1
You can never understand a 20% 2
3
person if you listen to him 4
5

through your paradigm. You 80%

have to put yourself in his

?
shoes.
 Habit Five:
….then to be understood
• To be understood:
– Ethos (70%):
• From ethics: principles-centered character

– Pathos (20%):
• From passion: express your emotions

– Logos (10%):
• From logic: make sense
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Conclusions:
– Empathic listening is the essence of human
communication.
– If you do your best to understand people, indeed they
will understand you.
– Do not jump to conclusions
– More understanding  more trust  more influence
Habit Six:
Synergize
 Habit Six:
Synergize
• The essence of synergy is to:
– Value differences
– Respect others
– Build on strength
– Compromise for weakness

• Real strength is based on difference not on similarity

“This is a natural law”
 Habit Six:
Synergize
Human Brain

Left Right Hemisphere

Hemisphere

• Verbal (logic( • Non-Verbal (emotions(

• Time bound • Time free
•Management • Leadership
 Habit Six:
Synergize
Synergize
LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION
(Win/Win)

Respectful (Compromise)
TS URT

Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/Lose)

COOPERATION
 DRIVING VS RESTRAINING
FORCE

• Driving Force: • Restraining Force:

- Positive - Negative
- Reasonable - Emotional
- Logical - Illogical
- Conscious - unconscious
 Habit Seven
Sharpen Your Saw
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw

• Sharpen the saw: the story

• It is all about:
– Self-renewal

– Important not urgent

– P/PC balance
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw
Physical
Exercise, nutrition
Stress management

Mental Social/Emotional
Reading, RENEWAL Synergy, empathy
Planning, Family activities,
Visualizing Social activities

Spiritual
Religious activities,
Prayers
BALANCE Effectiveness
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw
DO
Commit Learn
Commit
Do Learn
Do Commit

Learn
Do Commit
Learn

The Upward Spiral

 Finally

• The seven habits is all about paradigm shift.

• This is not easy. You need:
– Patience
– Courage
– Will
– Consistency
 Finally

• This is the way for a proper life, so do not ever

give up.

• It is really worth some effort and pain.

 Please Answer

- What most affected you in this course?

- What did you most benefit from this course?

Real Thanks
for
your Attention

012 - 747 1777