Fierce

Conversation
Rosanna Young, AS, BS
Rosanna.young@ucsf.edu

Lisa Hoang, RDA, RDH, BS

Lisa.Hoang@ucsf.edu

November 15, 2016

Principle 1: Master the Courage
to Interrogate Reality
 Objectives
By the end of this presentation, graduated learners
will be able to:
1. Rate interrogating reality as an essential part of fierce
conversation
2. Learn how to interrogate reality by listing the 3 stages
3. Understand the differences between ground truth versus
official truth
 What is Reality?

Changing Wins Workpl

needs Physical ace
Shifts
Emotion
al Well-being

Things change. The world changes. You and I

change. REALIT
Y
 Beach-Ball Reality

opposing
views open-
Reality minded
differen views or
t opinions
 The Corporate Nod
My idea is brilliant,
absolutely the
BEST!!! He's
crazy!
No !!
way
we
can do
Time to
that!! dust off
my
resume
 Taking Stock

"Companies and marriages derail because

people don't say what they are really thinking"
 Who Owns the Truth?
Every single person owns a piece of the truth
No one, not even the CEO (of a company) owns the entire
truth, because no one can be in all places at all times.
Demonstrates that everyone has a place at the table
All voices are welcome
None of us known more than the sum of everyones ideas
 Getting Reality on the Table
3 Stages of Interrogating Reality
1. Make a Proposal
2. Check for Understanding
3. Check for Agreement
 1. Make a Proposal

CLEAR
PROPOSAL
CONCISE
2. Check for Understanding

What do you Invite

think? questions!
3. Check for Agreement

Encourage everyone to share their opinions

Encourage teams to challenge one another's thinking
Avoid Laying Blame

Easy to say, hard to do

"The person who can most

accurately describe reality
without laying blame will
emerge the leader"
 Avoid Laying Blame

No blame. Just, "This is what's going on for me. I thought you

should know."
 No More But

Remove the word "but" from your vocabulary and substitute

the word "and"

BUT AND
 No More But
I know you want more time to complete the project,
but the deadline is looming. You want me to help
out in Boston, but I only have a small window in
which to make some critical things happen in
Seattle. I'd like to help you, but I have no easy
choices right now. You seem stressed, but I expect
you to deliver this project on time with minimal
involvement on my part.
 No More But
I know you want more time to complete the project,
and the deadline is looming. You want me to help
out in Boston, and I only have a small window in
which to make some critical things happen in
Seattle. I'd like to help you,andI have no easy
choices right now. You seem stressed,andI expect
you to deliver this project on time with minimal
involvement on my part.
 Mineral Rights

It helps you drill down deep on

a topic by asking your team
members a series of questions.
 Mineral Rights
Mining for increased clarity, improved
understanding, and impetus for change
Questions asked during a mineral right conversation help
individuals and teams interrogate reality in such a way
that they are mobilized to take action on tough challenges.
Ground Truth vs. Official Truth

Ground Truth Official Truth

Whats actually happening on the ground versus the official Is available for general circulation
tactics
Is viewed by most team members as propaganda
It is discussed around the watercooler, in the bathrooms, and in
the parking lot
 Ground Truth
Examples:
The official truth in my marriage is that we are happy, that
everything is fine. Ground truth is that we have been avoiding the
significant issues. If we fail to resolve them, our marriage could
fail.
The official truth in my life is that I am on track to be successful.
Ground truth is that my job is unfulfilling. I am just going through
the motions.
 Continue
Lets examine current reality?
What has changed since last we met?
Where are we succeeding & failing?
What have we learned in the last few months?
What is required of us now?

We can begin by identifying the official truths in both our

workplace & in our relationship that conflict with ground truth.
 Psycho-neuro-immunology

For healthy growing business, the "theory of the business"

has to be interrogatedregularly and vigorously
Assumptions about markets, customers/competitors,
values, beliefs, behaviors, organization's strengths and
weakness, etc...
 Psycho-neuro-immunology

Organization's values:
"What values do we stand for, and are there gaps between
these values and how we actually behave?"

Value: tightly held belief upon which a person or

organization acts by choice
Psycho-neuro-immunology

Values = behaviors
Psycho-neuro-immunology

At a personal level:
weak Value Behavior your body knows
Depending on duration and severity, immune system will weaken, leaving you increasingly
vulnerable to illness
 You Get What You Tolerate

Leaders need to proactively manage their processes to get

the results they are expecting and desiring.
People do not repeat behavior unless it is rewarded
You need to have clear communication with your team
members
You need to understand your team members attitude
What attitudes will lead to success in a company?
To what degree do our employees exhibit these attitudes?
 Getting Real with Yourself

Make yourself Ask yourself

available
To the What do I
industry stand for?
To whatever out What activities do
there your I have my heart in?
name is on it

When we are real with ourselves and others, the change occurs
before the conversations has ended.
 Doubting & Conflicting Yourself
You must answer the right questions for yourself first, and
then for the other individuals
There are certain individuals who in the process of
resolving their own inner conflicts, become paradigms for
broader groups
Questions?
 References
Scott, S. (2002).Fierce conversations: Achieving success
at work & in life, one conversation at a time. New York,
N.Y: Viking.