Chapter Four

Building High Self-

Esteem
Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem

Define and discuss how it is developed

Influences on human relations and
success at work
Characteristics of people with low and
high self-esteem
Role of mentors in professional life
Ways individuals and organizations can
raise self-esteem

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 Two Major Components

Self-efficacy
Belief you can achieve what you set out to
do
Developed though experience of mastery
success builds confidence to succeed in other
areas
Self-respect
What you think and feel about yourself
Self-respect likely earns respect from
others

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 Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect

Ones appreciation of own worth and

importance
Experience of being capable of meeting
lifes challenges and being worthy of
happiness

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 Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect

Character to be accountable for

behaviors
Acting responsibly toward others
Confidence in ability to
think
understand
make decisions

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 How Self-Esteem Develops

Self-concept
bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and
perceptions about yourself that are present
in every moment of every day
much is unconscious, yet continues to
influence judgments, feelings, and
behaviors

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 Childhood

Experience early in life have a

significant impact on ones life and
potential in later years
Foundation of self-esteem in childhood
emerges later in life
Emotional stability impacts self-esteem
Defining negative experiences occur
Abusive or uncaring parent
Serious childhood accident

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 Total Person Insight

Feeling good about who you are

and what youve here on earth to
dothat is the real work of your
life. And its ongoing. Each of us
arrives with all we need to feel
valued and unique, but slowly that
gets chipped away.
Oprah Winfrey
Founder and Editorial Director, O, The Oprah
Magazine

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 Adolescence

Develop and consolidate feelings about

yourself
Age 12 to 18
Changes and challenges
physical image
peer and social pressure
begin to assume adult responsibilities
Role models are important

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 Adulthood

Reinforced self-concept molded by past

Adults tend to define themselves in
terms of:
Things they possession
What they do for a living
Internal value system and emotional
makeup

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 Total Person Insight
How many times do we pay for one mistake? The
answer is thousands of times. The human is the only
animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the
same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for
every mistake they make. But not us. We have
powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge
ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish
ourselves.Every time we remember, we judge
ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish
ourselves again, and again, and again.

Don Miguel Ruiz

Author, The Four Agreements

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 How Self-Esteem Influences Your
Behavior
Powerful influence on behavior
at work
in personal life
Healthy self-esteem is
less vulnerable to negative views of others
more tolerant and respectful of others

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 Locus of Control

Internal locus of control

Belief that one is largely responsible for
what happens
External locus of control
Belief that life is almost totally controlled by
outside forces
Success is luck
Often rely on approval from others

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 Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem

Tendency toward
External locus of control
Self-destructive behaviors
Poor human relations skills
Failure syndrome
Trouble with relationships
Being less productive

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 Characteristics - High Self-Esteem

Future oriented
Better able to cope with lifes challenges
Feel emotions without letting them
affect behavior in a negative way
Less likely to take things personally
Accept people as unique, talented
individuals
Exhibit self-confident behaviors

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 Building Self-Esteem

Possible but difficult to change

Difficult to determine source of personal
doubt
Difficult finding words to describe
negative feelings
Begins with desire to overcome low self-
esteem
Slow evolution

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Identify the source of low self-esteem:

Careful examination of defining moments in
life
Make list of labels others use to describe you
Determine which ones youve internalized

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Identify and accept your limitations:

Accept yourself for who you are now
Dont demand perfection
Dont dwell on the past
Learn to dislike behaviors rather than self-
condemnation

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Take responsibility for your decisions:

Making decisions helps you develop
confidence in your own judgment
Be willing to set goals
Accept the consequences of your
decisions

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 Total Person Insight

There is little understanding in our

culture that being an adult is an ongoing
process of learning and self-correcting:
Life is always changing, revealing what
was previously unknown and unplanned
for.

Fran Cox and Louis Cox

Authors, A Conscious Life

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Develop expertise in some area:

Developing expert power builds self-
esteem
Use what you know to benefit yourself and
your company

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Seek the support and guidance of

mentors:
A mentor helps you learn something that you
would otherwise not have learned as well or
as quickly
Effective tool used in organizations

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Tips for building a mentor relationship:

Having multiple mentors is best
A mentor should have the qualities of a
good coach
Market yourself to prospective mentors

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Set goals:
People who set goals maintain high self-
esteem
Make your goals realistic.
Picture yourself reaching the goal

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Visualize achievement of your goals:

To visualize means to form a mental image
of something
If you want to succeed, picture yourself
succeeding over and over

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 Goal Setting Principles

Spend time reflecting on things you

want to change in your life
Develop a goal-setting plan that
includes steps to achieve the goal
Modify your environment by changing
stimuli around you
Monitor your behavior and reward
progress

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Use positive self-talk:

Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy
of your mind
It is the personal conversations you have
with yourself
Your self-talk can dramatically affect your
behavior

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 How to Build Self-Esteem

Create self-talk statements for each of

your goals:
Be specific about the behavior you want to
change
Begin each statement with a first-person
pronoun
Describe the results you want to achieve

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 Figure 4.1
Self-Esteem Cycles

Figure 4.1

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 Organizations Can Help

Low self-esteem often means poor

performance
Organizations realizing importance of
their role in developing self-esteem

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 Factors That Enhance
The Self-Esteem of
Employees

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 Organizations Can

Value and accommodate each unique

individual
Recognize accomplishments
Use well-designed training programs
Clarify expectations and provide
feedback
Keep employees well informed
Encourage the use of employees ideas
Emphasize teamwork

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 Summary

Self-esteem is a combination of self-

respect and self-efficacy
Feeling competent and worthy
Self-esteem is the foundation for a
successful personal life

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 Summary

Self-esteem is
acquired and built from birth
influenced by parents, friends, associates,
and the media

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 Summary

People with high self-esteem tend to

be future oriented
cope with problems creatively, handle their
emotions, and give as well as receive help
accept others as unique talented
individuals
exhibit self-confident behaviors

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 Summary

To build high self-esteem individuals

must
accept the past
build for the future
accept their limitations
develop expertise in some area
make decisions and live with the
consequences

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 Summary

Set goals by
visualizing the person they want to be
monitoring self-talk
Organizations now realize the need for
help in building self-esteem in their
employees

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 Summary

Organizations can
offer training sessions
give better feedback and statements of
expectations
offer greater respect for the individual in
the workplace
foster teamwork

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