ICC 3: Communication and

assertiveness
How to speak and hear each other, across cultures
Semester 1
3h, 11&12 September 2017

Ann Fenger Benwell

PhD
Det Sundhedsfaglige og Teknologiske Fakultet

Ref: Runa Midtvåge, GNH

Det Sundhedsfaglige og Teknologiske Fakultet
Ann Fenger Benwell

Agenda
How do we speak & listen to each
other - interculturally?
■ Assertiveness & role play
■ Language and microskills
■ Why?
Literature
 Hartley, P (1999) Does Assertiveness Work?
 Chapman, E (1991) Are You Sufficiently Assertive?
 Hays, J (1991) Listening
 Qingxue, Liu (2003) Understanding Different Cultural
Patterns or Orientations Between East and West

How do you get your message across, for instance, if you are trying to
convince a reluctant group of people to change behaviour in favour of
a healthier lifestyle?
How can you be assertive and respectful at the same time, and be so
across cultures that have other values and forms of address?
This class focuses on assertiveness and microskills and opens up for
a dialogue on ways to speak forcefully and respectfully, across
cultures.
AGGRESSIVE
Assertive
ASSERTION
The art of expressing yourself
 To act in your own interest,
to stand up for your own ideas
and opinions without
unnecessary worries

 To express honest feelings and

exert one’s personal rights
without stepping on others

 To know what you want to say

and say it directly
Assertiveness Quiz
 http://www.headinjury.com/assertquiz.htm
Assertiveness quiz
(questions)
1. Do you buy things you do not want because you are afraid to say no to the salesperson?
2. When you do not understand the meaning of a word, do you ask about it?
3. Do you feel responsible when things go wrong, even if it is not your fault?
4. Do you look directly at others when you talk to them?
5. Do people often ask you to speak more loudly in order to be heard
6. Do you feel intimidated by people in authority?
7. Do you generally have good posture?
8. Do you often feel so angry you could scream?
9. Do you know how to ask for help without feeling dependent?
10. If someone cuts in front of you in a line, do you usually tell them off?

See answers by following the link on the previous slide

Discuss culture in relation to this quiz

 Ways to react
 Submissively
Invite oppression by respect for others’
rights without keeping your own (too
little, too slow)

 Assertively
Gain respect by holding to your rights and
act in own interest without compromising
the rights of others’ (appropriate amount
of action in the right time)

 Aggressively
Invite trouble by sticking to your rights by
attacking others, block further
communication
(too much, too fast)
 How the message
is perceived?

 Assertiveness can be interpreted as unfriendly or inappropriate

dependent of different cultural values – direct/indirect etc.

 Consider body language, tone of voice, eye contact, proximity

Roleplays

 You will now enact situations where you are either

submissive, aggressive or assertive

 In groups of 5, you will prepare a small role play in

which you demonstrate reactions to a situation.
Situate your situation in a specific cultural setting and
be dominantly submissive, aggressive and/or
assertive (as marked on the back of the slip)

 Each group picks 1 slip and prepares a play.

Be back after 10 min. to present your role play in class
 HANDOUT
Small role plays for aggressive,
submissive & assertive behaviour:

Choose one:

 Your friend smokes in your room, and you don’t like it

 Someone passes in front of you in the supermarket queue
 You have lent 500 DKK to a friend, who has forgotten to pay
them back
HANDOUT
Small role plays for aggressive,
submissive & assertive behaviour:

Choose one:

 A taxi driver puts his hand on your thigh, while you are
driving
 Your best friend is trying to “conquer” your boyfriend/
girlfriend
 You are a vegetarian and at a dinner party where meat is
served… on your plate
HANDOUT
Small role plays for aggressive,
submissive & assertive behaviour:

Choose one:

 You don’t like beer and wine, and you don’t want to drink
when you are pushed to drink at a party
 Your find out that your friend is reading your diary without
your permission
 Your classmate has a very bad-smelling breath
HANDOUT
Small role plays for aggressive,
submissive & assertive behaviour:

Choose one:

 You always have to clean up after the others

 Your friend is very drunk, but wants to ride home on his
motorcycle
 You drive with your cousin in his car, but he is driving far too
fast
 HANDOUT
Small role plays for aggressive,
submissive & assertive behaviour:

Choose one:

 Your best friend bums cigarettes off you, again and again
 Your friend always speaks about him-(or her)self without
asking how you are doing
 Somebody calls you egoistic and self-centred while other
people are listening
 LANGUAGE
AND
MICROSKILLS
Giraffe language
What
characterises
a giraffe?

 Tallest mammal on earth

 Overview
 Biggest heart
 Graceful
 Giraffe language

 For non-violent
communication

 A conflict resolution tool

 To express feelings and

needs in an inviting and
reciprocal manner

Invented by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg

http://www.nwcompass.org/compassionate_communication.html
 Giraffe language vs. jackal language
 Listen to others’ feelings
and needs
 Request
 From the heart
 React to what we see and hear,
not to what we interprete
 Ask for what we want
 Creates proximity
Consider ‘dialogue’ vs. ‘debate’
 Criticism
 Demands and judgement
 From the head (interpretations)
 Releases anger, aggression,
guilt, counter-demands
 Creates distance
…. an exaggerated reputation for
cowardice, sneaky behaviour
Communication and
assertiveness
 The speaker
Who? (credentials).
Speech rate (too slow, too fast). Ethos, logos,
pathos/emotionality.

The listener
Agenda for listening.
Motivation (expectations)
Physical condition
Linguistic aptitude (comprehension)

The message
Structure & clarity. Is it messy, Amount of detail?
Based on stereotypes? Is it significant for listener

The environment
Setting, culture. Level of noise, ventilation.
View, presence of others.
Are you aware and skilled?
MICROSKILLS
Active listening
Questionning
 Refers to specific competencies for Non-verbal cue
communicating effectively with others Communication
Observation
 Basic communication skills Empathy
 Relevant for social workers, mental health
practitioners, and other helping professionals
 Training to provide essential building blocks for
counseling, therapy, advocacy, mediation, and
other methods of intervention.
MICROSKILLS: a professional is able to…

 paraphrase,
 reflect on feelings,
 summarize,
 ask open and closed questions,
 provide factual information,
 use minimal prompts, and
 use body language and facial expressions to
demonstrate listening and interest in what the
other person is communicating
Factors influencing listening
 Distractions from other senses: sight, smell, touches
 Intensity (in voice, colours) contrast, movement
 Interest
 Expectations
 Personal needs

Interpretation and personal filters:

 Background and culture (eg. eye contact)
 Values
 Intra-personal awareness

How to balance personal bias

or minimize the effect of selectivity?
 http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_
who_you_are/transcript?language=en
 21 minutes
Main points
Consider ethos, pathos & logos (to be taught later)

”Non-verbals govern how we think and feel about

ourselves… ” (11:44)

You can change (improve) your life by changing your

‘non-verbals’; high-power poses

”Fake it to become it” (19:14)

What do you make of this?

Assertive rights
 The right to express feelings, opinions, values and beliefs
 The right to change one's mind
 The right to make decisions
 The right to say "I don't know" and/or "I don't understand"
 The right to say "no" without feeling bad or guilty
 The right to be non-assertiv
 The right to personal freedom, to be one's self
 The right to privacy, to be alone and independent

See: MHA (Mental Health America) http://www.mhankyswoh.org/Uploads/files/pdfs/Assertiveness-

AssertiveRights_20130813.pdf
Self-help book: When I say no, I feel guilty” by Manuel J. Smith.
http://www.webheights.net/lovethyself/smith/no.htm
WHY?
For you as a person and as a
nutrition and health
professional….

..what can help you be

assertive – and why is it
relevant?
What do you take with you from this class?
How does this focus on assertiveness feed into the ICC topic?
How can you use knowledge of assertiveness in relation to
being a health professional?
How can you use assertiveness in relation to your development
as a student? And during oral exms?
How can you be assertive and
persuade your peers/target
group/clients of your ideas and
strategies?