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Persuasive Communications-

Using ³You-Attitude´ and ³Reader Benefit´

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³we-attitude´, in which the writer views every matter from his
or her own (or the organization's) standpoint rather than from
the reader's:

 
 

  



   
   

  

   
  


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Focus on "You" instead of "I" and "We´
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You-Attitude

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÷ e ³we-attitude´ department store
message, letter 1 below-
xay I take this opportunity to express my thanks for the
account you recently opened with our store.
We are pleased to furnish a wide variety of products for the
home or individual customers.
We want you to take full advantage of our store services, for
we have the largest stock in the city.
Also we make deliveries of our customers' purchases free of
charge within 30 miles of our store««««.so on««.
The last paragraph is -We welcome you to Kiran¶s. If we can
be of additional service in any manner, please call on us.

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In contrast, letter 1-rewritten for more
³you-attitude´--
Thank you for the account you recently opened at Kiran's.
Serving you with your needs for clothing and home furnishings is a pleasure.
You can satisfy all your shopping needs when you visit any of Kiran's 12 well-
stocked departments.
Our courteous, skilled salesclerks are ready to assist you in selecting the
merchandise that best meets your requirements.
If you prefer to shop within the comfort of your home, instead of coming to the
store, you need only telephone 555-8888.
A Personal Shopper will gladly take your order, answer your questions and see
that the goods you order reach you by store delivery within a few days.
When you shop at Kiran's downtown store, you are invited to use the free
customer parking privilege provided just across the street.
You are always welcome at Kirann's.
Please call on us whenever you need additional services.

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Ô ow Reader Benefit or Interest in Reader

 Whenever possible and true, show how your readers


will benefit from whatever the message asks or
announces.
 They will be more likely to react favorably and do
what you suggest if you show that benefits are worth
the effort and cost.
 In situations where actual direct reader benefit is
impossible or irrelevant to the subject matter, the
message should at least show interest in and concern
for the reader's needs or viewpoint.
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| en a simple request gets better response w en a reader-
benefit plug accompanies it.

 or example, an insurance company that wanted to


update its address files sent to half its
policyholders a double postcard with this message:

³Because we a e not written you in some time,


please elp us bring our records up to date by
filling in and returning t e ot er alf of t is
card.´
 Only 3 percent of these cards came back.

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To the remaining half of its policyholders the firm sent
the same request-- reworded to show reader benefit:

³Ôo t at di idend c ecks, premium notices, and


ot er messages of importance may reac you
promptly, please fill out and return t e ot er
alf of t is card.´
This request brought 90 percent of the cards back
in a few days!

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xerely inserting the word you do not ensure
you-attitude, as shown in this sentence:

 ³You will be glad to know t at we now a e


a Walk-Up Window open 7-9 a.m. and 3-8
p.m. e ery weekday.´

Some readers may wonder, "So what?"

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The revised sentence includes reader benefit:

 ³You can now take care of your banking


needs also at our new Walk-Up Window. It
is open wit a capable teller to ser e you 7-9
a.m. and 3-8 p.m. Monday t roug Friday.´

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In some situations it is advisable not to use "you" if those
sentences are insulting, sarcastic, tactless, or untrue accusations
and threats against the debtor like -

 W en t e reader as made a mistake:


Poor: You failed to enclose your check in the envelope.
Better: The envelope we received did not have a check in it.
Poor: Your contract tells you plainly that. . . .
Better: I am glad to explain more fully the contract terms.

 W en t e reader as expressed an opinion different from your


own:
Poor: You are entirely wrong in your attitude.
Better: The proposed plan has three aspects which are extremely
important and which we need to explain now.

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Paragraph Writing

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Basic Paragrap Ôtructure
 


     


 
 
     
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÷ e ÷opic Ôentence
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or example, suppose that you want to write a paragraph about
the natural landmarks of your hometown. The first part of your
paragraph might look like this:

³xy hometown is famous for several amazing natural


features. irst, it is noted for the holy river Ganga, which is very
wide and beautiful. Also, on the other side of the town is the
beautiful Shivalik Hill, which is unusually steep.´

* The first sentence begins with "xy hometown..." a few spaces to


the right of the paragraph edge. This is an indentation.
* xy hometow, is famous for several amazing geographical features6
is the most general statement in the first paragraph.
* The second and third sentences mention specific details about the
town's geography, and are not general statements.

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Here are some examples of sentences that cannot be used as
topic sentences. Can you figure out why they are
inappropriate?

* xy hometown is famous because it is located


by Ganga the holy river, which is very wide,
and because it is built near an unusual steep
hill called Shivalik Hill.
* There are two reasons why some people like to
buy cars with automatic transmission and two
reasons why others like cars with manual
transmission.
* Clouds are white.

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Ôupporting Ôentences
W en a reader reads a topic sentence, suc as x 

 a question s ould usually appear in t e reader's mind.

* In this case, the question should be like, "What are the


natural features that makes Haridwar famous?"
The reader should then expect that the rest of the paragraph will give an
answer to this question like -
* We can see that the second sentence in the paragraph, irst, it is
noted for the river Ganga, which is very wide and beautiful6 indeed
gives an answer to this question and some explanation for the fact
that Haridwar is a famous town.
* Similarly, we can see that the third sentence also gives some
explanation for the fact that Haridwar is famous by giving another
example of an "amazing natural feature," in this case, Shivalik Hill.
* The second and third sentences are called supporting
sentences. They are called "supporting" because they "support," or
explain, the idea expressed in the topic sentence.

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jt minimum, you s ould a e at least fi e to se en
sentences in your paragrap .

* Here we can see our paragraph about Haridwar with a few


more supporting sentences in bold font:
³xy hometown is famous for several amazing
natural features. irst, it is noted for the Ganga,
which is very wide and beautiful. Also, on the
other side of the town is Shivalik Hill, which is
unusual because it is very steep. ÷ e t ird
amazing feature is t e Big Old ÷ree. ÷ is
tree stands two undred feet tall and is
probably about six undred years old.´
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÷ e Concluding Ôentence or
j sort of topic sentence in re erse.

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|ffecti e Ôentence Ôtructure

 Avoid Awkward Sentences :

e.g.- The student finds it exhaustive and appropriate


and has gone through the structure of the artificial
module

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Avoid used Sentences :

E.g.-we want to equip our corporate office


with modern facilities, we would like to buy
the products.

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Ôentence |mp asis
It is essential to place important words in the emphatic
positions in order to make the sentence more effective.

e.g. The chairman used his authority when he controlled the


misuse of company funds by the officials.

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Ôecond and third paragraphs
 —se a few short paragraphs to go into greater detail
about your main point.

 If one paragraph is all you need, don't write an extra


paragraph just to make your letter look longer.

 If you are including sensitive material, such as


rejecting an offer or informing an employee of a layoff
period, embed this sentence in the second paragraph
rather than opening with it. Here are some common
ways to express unpleasant facts:

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 We regret to inform you...
 It is with great sadness that we...
 After careful consideration we have decided...

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inal paragraph
 Your last paragraph should include requests, reminders, and notes on
enclosures.
 If necessary, your contact information should also be in this paragraph. Here
are some common phrases used when closing a business letter:

I look forward to...


Please respond at your earliest convenience.
I should also remind you that the next board meeting is on ebruary
5th.
or further details...
If you require more information...
Thank you for taking this into consideration.
I appreciate any feedback you may have.
Enclosed you will find...
eel free to contact me by phone or email.

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Closing
 —se a comma between the closing and your handwritten
name (or typed in an email).
 If you do not use a comma or colon in your salutation,
leave out the comma after the closing phrase:
Yours truly,
Yours sincerely,
Sincerely,
Sincerely yours
Thank you,
Best wishes
All the best,
Best of luck
Warm regards,

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ariting Tips
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Proofreading a Business Letter
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Business Letter ormats
There are certain standards for formatting a business letter, though some
variations are acceptable (for example between European and North
American business letters). Here are some basic guidelines:

 —se A4 (European) or 8.5 x 11 inch (North American) paper or


letterhead
 —se 2.5 cm or 1 inch margins on all four sides
 —se a simple font such as Times New Roman or Arial
 —se 10 to 12 point font
 —se a comma after the salutation
 Lay out the letter so that it fits the paper appropriately
 Single space within paragraphs

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 oouble space between paragraphs
 oouble space between last sentence and closing (Sincerely, Best
wishes)
 Leave three to fives spaces for a handwritten signature
 cc: (meaning "copies to") comes after the typed name (if
necessary)
 enc: (meaning "enclosure") comes next (if necessary)
 old in three (horizontally) before placing in the envelope
 —se right ragged formatting (not justified on right side)
 Block format is the most common format used in business today.
 With this format, nothing is centered. The sender's address, the
recipient's address, the date and all new paragraphs begin at the
left margin, like this:

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Î Y Z Co. Ltd SENoER'S AooRESS
22 Subhash Road may be printed company logo and address
oelhi-11006

5th xarch, 2010 oATE

xs. xitali Rao RECIPIENT'S AooRESS


Lakme Cosmetics Ltd.
11 East Kailash Road
New oelhi-10021
RECIPIENT'S REERENCE (I ANY)
Your ref: 123 SENoER'S REERENCE (I ANY)
Our ref: abc

oear xs. Rao, SAL—TATION

orthcoming Exhibition
S—BJECT
irst paragraph...
Second paragraph...
Third paragraph... BOoY O LETTER

Sincerely, CLOSING

p    SIGNAT—RE (HANo-WRITTEN)

Rupali Singh, President NAxE, TITLE (TYPEo)

cc: Shashi Singh COPY TO

Enc: catalogue ENCLOS—RE

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Formal letters
use standard business expressions (I am enquiring if it would be possible...)
are written to people the writer does not know
do not have a personal tone

üeutral letters
can be written to your boss, work colleagues and external clients can be
written to people the writer knows a little can have a personal tone

Informal letters
can be written to friends and work colleagues you know well
have a personal tone
are written in a conversational style
do not always have complete sentences

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Formal üeutral

oear xr Harrison oear Paul

It was a great pleasure It was very nice

I trust you have fully recovered I hope you're feeling better

I am writing to thank you xany thanks

These will be very useful indeed These will really be useful

If you are ever in oelhi please do not hesitate to contact me. If you come to oelhi please let me know

Yours sincerely Best wishes

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Inquiries - jsking for Information

 We write an inquiry when we want to ask for more information concerning a


product, service or anything that interests us.

 These letters are often written in response to an advertisement that we have seen in
the paper, a magazine etc.and we are interested in purchasing a product, but would
like more information before making a decision.
 Remember to place your or your company's address at the top of the letter (or use
your company's letterhead) followed by the address of the company you are writing
to.
 The date can either be placed double spaced down or to the right.
Important Language to Remember

 Gi ing Reference: With reference to your advertisement (ad) in...


Regarding your advertisement (ad) in ...
 Requesting a Catalogue, Broc ure, |tc. : After the reference, add a comma and
continue - ... , would (Could) you please send me ...
 Requesting Furt er Information: I would also like to know ...
Could you tell me whether ...
 Ôignature: Yours faithfully - (very formal as you do not know the person to whom
you are writing)

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jn |xample Letter

ExPI Business School


CSKx Educational Complex
Satbari, Chattarpur New oelhi- 110074

Gupta Brothers
xanagement Book House
456 Shivalik Road
oehradun-250071

xarch12, 2010

To Whom It xay Concern :

With reference to your advertisement in yesterday's Times of India, could you please send me a
copy of your latest catalogue? I would also like to know if it is possible to make purchases online.

Yours faithfully

(Signature)
Rashmi Tomar (Lecturer)
oepartment of English

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|ffecti e Ôentence Ôtructure

 Avoid Awkward Sentences :

e.g.- The student finds it exhaustive and appropriate


and has gone through the structure of the artificial
module

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Avoid used Sentences :
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|xample Letter
Gupta Brothers
xanagement Book House`
456 Shivalik Road oehradun-250071

Rashmi Tomar (Lecturer)


ExPI Business School
CSKx Educational Complex
Chattarpur New oelhi- 110074

xarch 12, 2010

oear xs. Tomar


Thank you for your inquiry of 12th xarch asking for the latest edition of our
catalogue.
We are pleased to enclose our latest brochure. We would also like to inform
you that it is possible to make purchases online at http:\\guptabros.com.
We look forward to welcoming you as our customer.

Yours sincerely
(Signature)

Alok Gupta
xarketing oirector
Gupta Brothers

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