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Christian marriage is a divine vocation and sacred sacrament that calls couples to a life of holiness through cooperation with God's creative power by having and raising children. The three goods of marriage are fidelity, offspring, and sacrament. Couples are called to sanctify their marriage through faith, hope, charity and other virtues in their family life and relations.
Christian marriage is a divine vocation and sacred sacrament that calls couples to a life of holiness through cooperation with God's creative power by having and raising children. The three goods of marriage are fidelity, offspring, and sacrament. Couples are called to sanctify their marriage through faith, hope, charity and other virtues in their family life and relations.
Christian marriage is a divine vocation and sacred sacrament that calls couples to a life of holiness through cooperation with God's creative power by having and raising children. The three goods of marriage are fidelity, offspring, and sacrament. Couples are called to sanctify their marriage through faith, hope, charity and other virtues in their family life and relations.
should be objectively thought through over a period of time. But there is also a SPIRITUAL DIMENSION to those who seek God’s guidance in finding a suitable lifelong mate. MARRIAGE A DIVINE VOCATION For a Christian, marriage is A real supernatural calling, a great sacrament, in Christ and in the Church, as St Paul says. … It is a sacred sign, an action of Jesus that invades the soul of those who get married and invites them to follow him, by transforming their whole married life into a divine journey on earth. (Christ is Passing By, 23) It is important for married people to acquire a clear sense of the dignity of their vocation. They must know that they have been called by God not only to human love but also to a divine love, through their human love. It is important for them to realise that they have been chosen from all eternity to cooperate with the creative power of God by having and then bringing up children. Our Lord asks them to make their home and their entire family life a testimony of all the Christian virtues. Love which leads to marriage and family, can also be a marvellous divine way, a vocation … What I have told you about doing things perfectly, about putting love into the little duties of each day, about discovering that “divine something” contained in these details, finds a special place in that vital sphere in which human love is enclosed. MARRIAGE IN GENESIS Almost 6,000 years ago, the first man and woman were created. These two—Adam and Eve—were history’s very first husband and wife, and lived in the Garden of Eden. As Chief Designer of marriage, God also explained this relationship to them, and the laws that govern it. He called it “very good.” Touching on the high points, a summary of this account is found in the earliest chapters of Genesis. What is clear is that God taught this first couple His Way—the way that would bring peace, supreme happiness, abundance, prosperity and all the good things of life. Yet, because of His infinite Purpose, God created these first human beings as free moral agents. Adam and Eve had the power to choose. God did not force His way of life on them, but rather taught them the right way, leaving the choice to them as to what they would do. Genesis 3 records what happened in the garden with Satan tempting Eve. This account demonstrates the devil’s cunning subtlety as he tried to discredit God and appeal to Adam and Eve’s vanity. There were two special trees in the garden. First was the “Tree of Life,” representing God’s Way. Adam and Eve were instructed to eat as much from this tree as they wished. There was also the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” This first married couple was expressly forbidden to eat of the fruit of that tree. God told them that in the day they ate that fruit, they would “surely die.” Understand. God—and God alone— decides what sin is. Man was not given the authority to decide what sin is but rather only whether he would sin. Adam and Eve had a clear choice! Through Satan’s subtlety and their rebellion, they rejected God and took of the forbidden fruit. They rejected God’s perfect Law and rule— His government over all creation—and were taken captive by Satan and his way of sin. Because of sin, they no longer had access to God’s blessings, guidance, protection or the free gift of His Holy Spirit, which they could have acquired by eating of the Tree of Life. From that day forward, mankind has been cut off from God, having rejected God and His ways (Isa. 59:1-2). THIS is why mankind does not—CANNOT—know the truth about the purpose behind right dating and the purpose behind right courtship. He has chosen his own path—a mixture of good and evil—and the fruit of his choice is literally a “mix,” with some marriages working somewhat, others constantly riding the rollercoaster of extremes, and many not working at all. Therefore,all but a select few couples lack the supreme happiness and joy that God intended for every marriage MARRIAGE, IN GOD’S REDEMPTIVE PLAN Marriage Is to help married people sanctify themselves and others. For this reason they receive a special grace in the sacrament which Jesus Christ instituted. Those who are called to the married state will, with the grace of God, find within their state everything they need to be holy. Husband and wife are called to sanctify their married life and to sanctify themselves in that union. It would be a serious mistake if their spiritual life were to develop with their backs turned to, or at the fringes of, their home. Family life, conjugal relations, the care and education of children, the effort to provide for the needs of the family as well as for its security and development, the relationships with other persons who make up the community, all these are among the ordinary human situations that Christian couples are called upon to sanctify. (Christ is Passing By, 23) Sanctify the home one day after another, to create with love a true family atmosphere. Many Christian virtues are necessary in order to sanctify each day of one’s life. First, the theological virtues [faith, hope and charity], and then all the others: prudence, loyalty, sincerity, humility, industry. THREE GOODS OF MARRIAGE
Faith is not taken here as a
theological virtue, but as part of justice, in so far as faith [fides] signifies the suiting of deed to word [fiant dicta] by keeping one's promises; for since marriage is a contract it contains a promise whereby this man is assigned to this woman. Just as the marriage promise means that neither party is to have intercourse with a third party, so does it require that they should mutually pay the marriage debt. The latter is indeed the chief of the two, since it follows from the power which each receives over the other. Consequently both these things pertain to faith, although the Boo of Sentences mentions that which is the less manifest. Offspring signifies not only the begetting of children, but also their education, to which as its end is directed the entire communion of works that exists between man and wife as united in marriage, since parents naturally "lay up" for their "children" (2 Corinthians 12:14); so that the offspring like a principal end includes another, as it were, secondary end. Sacrament we are to understand not only indivisibility, but all those things that result from marriage being a sign of Christ's union with the Church. We may also reply that the unity to which the objection refers pertains to faith, just as indivisibility belongs to the sacrament. Further, in the specific nature the difference is more important than the genus, even as the form is more important than matter in the composition of a natural thing. Now "sacrament" refers to marriage on the part of its genus, while "offspring" and "faith" refer thereto on the part of the difference whereby it is a special kind of sacrament. Therefore these other two are more important than sacrament in reference to marriage. CONJUGAL LOVE AND FIDELITY Three Requirements (1643) Conjugal love involves the appeal of body and instinct, the power of feeling and affectivity, the aspirations of spirit and will. All of these aim at a union beyond the flesh, a union of heart and soul. This definitive mutual self-giving demands indissolubility, faithfulness, and openness to children. In this way, natural conjugal love expresses Christian values. No Longer Two (1644-1645) This community of spouses embraces their entire lives for "they are no longer two, but one flesh" (Mt 19:6, Gen 2:24). They must continually grow in self-giving. Christ confirms this human communion by the sacrament of Matrimony and deepens it by the Eucharist. Polygamy (1645) The unity of marriage is made clear when spouses have an equal personal dignity. Therefore, polygamy is contrary to exclusive and undivided conjugal love. Fidelity and Indissolubility (1646-1648) Conjugal love requires inviolable fidelity. Love is not an arrangement "until further notice." Marriage itself and the good of the children demand total fidelity. This teaching is based upon God's fidelity to the Old Covenant and Christ's fidelity to his Church. This indissolubility receives a deeper meaning from the sacrament. Because this seems so difficult, the spouses must hear the Good News of God's irrevocable love for them. They share in this love and witness to God's love by their own fidelity. Separated But Still Married (1649) Sometimes, for a variety of reasons, common life between the spouses is impossible. The Church permits the spouses to live apart (a physical separation). They are still husband and wife and are not free to remarry. If possible, they should reconcile. In either case, the Christian community must help them to live out their original indissoluble commitment. SERVING LIFE: OFFSPRING The next task of parents is to serve life – both the children who have been born and those that are to follow. When you are parenting children between the ages of birth and three, the more immediate need will appear to be to those who are already here. You will serve life first by honouring your offspring and providing for their education. With this in mind, here are a few ideas on setting up a home that is open to life Each person in your family has immense dignity. And it is the role of each family member to honour that God-given worth. Honouring is a three step process that involves: Treating each person with respect. Doing more than is expected. Maintaining a positive attitude. Families of honour rarely yell or demean each other. They avoid pushing each other to the brink of anger or frustration. Rather, they find selfless ways to help each other out. When children are young, honouring is first developed by the parents who honour each other. If a baby needs changing, the first one on the scene takes care of it. If the Mom has been up for several evenings in a row taking care of a sick child, the Dad steps in and gives her a rest. Honour continues to be developed through the use of manners in the home. “Please”, “thank you”, “you are welcome” can go a long way to develop honour. Finally, honour can be enhanced when everyone (especially Mom and Dad) is asked to practice patience. Learning to wait quietly is a cornerstone of an honouring family. NO MATTER WHICH DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUE YOU USE THERE ARE KEY STEPS TO REMEMBER:
Remain calm and in control of your
emotions. Be firm – never harmful. Be consistent – what is wrong today should be wrong tomorrow. When the discipline is over, forgive the child and move on. Serving life includes openness to creating more children with God. This means that parents who serve life respect both sexual intimacy and their unique gift of fertility. They understand that God chose them as His vehicle for bringing forth new human life and gave them sexual intimacy by which they can procreate. Parents who serve life understand that sexual intimacy is something to be reverenced. It is a good of marriage and it is to be exclusive, faithful and open to life.