Clear and Effective

Writing the News

Story

MA. CRISTINA M. FELICIANO

School Paper Adviser
Justice Cecilia Munoz Palma High School
 1. Think First, Then Write

Clear writing is the result of clear

thinking. To write clearly, you must think
beforehand. The pattern you can use most
often is the who-what-why-when-where order
of the news story. A good rule would be: to
get your reader’s interest, lead off with
something interesting and promising; wind
up with something you want him to
remember.
 2. Get to the Point
Don’t start off in a round-about
fashion. Don’t bore your reader with a long-
winded introduction. If you do, your reader
is likely to quit reading before he gets the
main idea. Here’s an example of an
involved lead taken from an afternoon daily.
 “MAKATI, Dec.2 – After carefully assessing the
status of the company, with particular reference to its
record performance, present position and future
prospects, the board of directors of the __________
Company at a special meeting held last Friday
resolved that the proposal to dissolve the corporation
be held on March 22, 1999. The dissolution will be
accomplished by shortening the term of corporate
existence to June 1999.”

In contrast, the headline of this story came to

the point quickly, “Firm to Close Shop.”
 3. Use Familiar Words

You won’t lose your reader if you give

him more short sentences and fewer
complex words. There are millions of words
in the English Language. But did you know
that only 500 of them account only for 75
percent of all that is said in print? There is no
better way to clear, crisp writing style than
short sentences and short words. Look at this
list culled from our newspapers and office
memoranda:
Complex Common Complex Common

Indisposed ill Terminate end

Monumental big Witness see
Purchase buy Utilize use
Majority most Reside live
Procure get Proceed go
Contribute give Request ask
Summon call Category class
Incarcerate jail Facilitate help
Inundate flood Inaugurate start
Prevaricate lie
 4. Omit Verbal Deadwood
Effective writing is concise. You can be
concise by dropping unnecessary words from
phrases or sentences. Every word should tell.
There is no reason to call a spade “A long-
handed instrument for turning earth in a
garden.” Here are some examples of verbal
deadwood drawn from Philippine newspapers
and inter-office memoranda:
For the reason that - Because
Tendered his resignation - Resigned
Told his listeners - Said
Used for fuel purposes - Fueled
In the immediate vicinity - Near
At the present time - Now
Affixed his signature - Signed
United in the holy matrimony - Married
Held a conference - Met
Was able to make his escape - Escaped
In the following samples, the underline words
should be omitted:

Advance prediction Free gift

Fatal killing A period of two Weeks
Definitely decided Past History
New recruits Final conclusion
Other alternative Dead body
 5. Keep Your Sentence Short

The logic of writing short sentences is

obvious. The reader absorbs the idea faster. The
longer the sentence, the more words. The more
words, the more relationships. The more
relationships, the more effort for the reader. The
more chance he will misunderstand, the sooner he
will quit reading.

People don’t like to read material made up of

40-word sentences, even if they get it for free.
Reading tends to become hard when sentences
exceeds 20 words. Look at this table:
 Average Sentence Length in Words
Very Easy 8 or less
Easy 11 or less
Fairly Easy 14 words or less
Standard 17 words
Fairly Difficult 21 words
Difficult 25 words
Very Difficult 29 or more words

This paragraph comes from an office memo:

“Should the supply of gasoline sent your establishment prove
insufficient to meet the demand, application should be made to this
office for an additional quantity.”
This 25-word sentence could be revised to read: “If you need
more gasoline, ask us.”

Note that we are talking about averages. There is nothing wrong

with a 40-word sentence, or even a 60-word sentence, now and then.
But balance these long sentences with some short once of five or ten
words, to keep the average length to 15 words.
 6. Shorten Your Paragraphs

Short paragraphs are better for three reasons.

Visually, they are easy on the eye. It also signals the
reader that a new step in the development of the
subject will begin. Short paragraphs make for easy
reference.

As a rule, begin each paragraph with a sentence

that suggests the topic or a transition sentence. Each
paragraph should complete a single thought. After the
paragraph has been written, see whether you can
further break it into two.
7. Use Specific, Concrete Language

Use lots of concrete, specific words that

stand for things you and your reader can see, hear,
taste, touch and smell.
Concrete nouns help focus your reader’s
attention. Always prefer the specific to the general,
the definite to the vague, and the concrete to the
abstract. Furthermore, you must watch out for
“vague” or “imprecise” words. “Crime” for instance
is vague. It may range all the way from jaywalking
to murder.
 Here are examples of vague words
culled from newspaper reports:

(fire, explosion, drowning,

Tragedy
cave-in)
(collision, a fall from the
Accident
building, slip, etc.)
(Jaycees, Catholic Action,
Organization
YMCA)
Ceremony (wedding, mass, award)
(suit for damages, criminal
Legal Action
case)
(deed of sale, record,
Document
certificate, treaty)
Monetary Consideration (salary, bribe, reward)
Community (town, barrio, city)
 Precision pays. The search for the precise word should
extend to sentences. Consider these examples:

Vague: Precise:

His head was injured by a blunt

His skull was fractured with a hammer.
instrument.

Officers removed a gun from his Police took a .32 caliber automatic
clothing. from his hip pocket.

A large number assembled for the

Five hundred attended the caucus.
meeting.

He spoke in disparaging terms about

He denounced the Communists.
the radical element.

Abstract words make your writing dull and vague.

If you want to keep your writing clear and crisp and
understandable, use concrete nouns and verbs. Be
precise.
8. Prefer the Simple to the Complex

If you write so that you can easily be

understood, prefer the simple to the complex.
Prefer the simple word to the complicated word.
Prefer the simple sentence to the complex
sentence. Prefer the simple paragraph to the
involved one.
9. Be Positive

Make definite assertions by following the natural

order of thought: Subject, verb, object.
Avoid hesitating, round-about language. A
bureaucrat tends to write:
“With respect to the question of pets, Mary
exercised rights over a certain juvenile member of the
sheep family.”
But the child simply says: “Mary had a little lamb.”
10. Use the Active Voice

Write most of your sentences like this: Somebody does

something – and watch your writing come to life. Very
often it is the natural order / method by which a person
breaks news to another. We call this the active voice. It
gives snap and punch to your writing.

Consider this example from local paper:

1. Congressmen demanded today the firing of all
NAPOCOR officials. (Active)
2. The firing of all NAPOCOR officials was demanded
today by Congressmen. (Passive)
 Verbs make a story sparkle. For instance: The
sentence “Newspaper circulation grew steadily” is
more brisk and vigorous the “The growth of newspaper
circulation has been steady”.
Finally, use verbs in the active voice, whenever
possible. The bulletin board of a local news-magazine
office offers an example of a sentence with a passive
verb: It is requested that the production department be
notified of any charge in deadlines.”
This could be simplified to read: “Please notify
the production department if there is any change in
deadlines.”
 11. Write As You Talk

A conversational tone makes for readable

reading. It increases interest. It helps
understanding, too. Don’t lapse into the stuffy
business jargon that has no relation to the way
business people talk face-to-face. For instance,
a Philippine navy officer had this order posted on
the bulletin board of his base office.
 “Effective immediately, the practice of endeavoring
by words, gestures or otherwise, to beg, invite or secure
transportation in any motor vehicle not engaged in
passenger travel or hire or otherwise acting as a
commercial passenger carrier, by officers and / or enlisted
men or women in the naval service at any point within the
boundaries of this naval command is forbidden.”

And all he meant: “Don’t ask for free rides!”

Try this. Next time you have to write something, get

a mental picture of the reader. Then talk to him on paper.
 12. Use Adjectives Sparingly

Properly used, adjectives can help you write good reports. But too many
adjectives result in rich, ornate prose that is hard to digest and is
sometimes nauseating. Read this report of the former First Lady’s state visit
– and weep:
“KYOTO, Japan, May 25 – A blue-white flash of modern magic
today wafted the First Lady of the Philippines away from Tokyo’s withering
clangor to the security of this ancient imperial realm.”
“Fan-twirling geishas danced and sang to the sad thrumming of the
samisen and Mrs. Evangelina Macapagal, with Japanese and Philippine
friends, nibbled succulent yakitori and crisp-coated tempura beside an
emerald lake.
“At the ancient private Nomura gardens a hidden waterfall
whispered amid tall pines and spreading Japanese maples. A white swan
glided with arched wings across the water, dappled only by the movement
of a great, lazy goldfish tasting the cool afternoon air.”
Oftentimes experienced editors become suspicious when they spot
adjective-laden reports. They know that oftentimes adjectives merely cloak
a reporters’ lack of hard facts.
 13.Revise and Sharpen

Revising is a part of writing. Look for “fat” words that

say nothing. Look for worn-out phrases. Look for
unnecessary sentences. Look for paragraphs that don’t
carry their own weight. Cross out all of them. You will be
amazed at the crisp sound of what is left. So chop that
long paragraph in two.
 14. Write To Express, Not To Impress

The person who can express complex ideas simple

is likely to go farther in the world than the person who
writes gobbledygook. Some people may be impressed if
you write economic reports this way:
“An exercise that seeks quantitative answers
relating to a period which is some distance away in the
future must by it very nature by highly tentative.”
But your readers will understand this better if you
just write: “What followed was largely guesswork.”
WRITING THE
NEWS STORY
The structure of the news story

The news story consists of the following:

1. The first paragraph which is referred to as
the lead, is a sentence that contains the most
important or the most interesting element of the
story.

Example:
Shiela Marie B. Tagpis, IV – 1 of T. Paez Integrated
School, bagged the gold medal for having been adjudged
NCR champion in an on-the-spot writing contest
sponsored by the Bureau of Fisheries and Aquatic
Resources on November 15, at the Philamlife Auditorium.
 2. One or two additional paragraphs on
the highlights of the story.

Example:
Aside from the gold medal, Tagpis was
awarded a cash prize of P5, 000 for her feat.
She bested contestants from six divisions.
 3. Elaboration

Example:
Her winning piece was “Endangered Marine Life: A
National Concern.”
Tagpis was trained by Miss Vanessa T. Cruz, English
Teacher.
Dr. Rosario T. Saludes, principal, was present during
the awarding ceremonies.
The Lead
A special beginning paragraph or paragraphs
are called the lead opens the news story. It answers
the who, what, why, when, where, and how
questions to provide quick identification of persons,
places and events necessary for quick
understanding of the story.
A good lead is short and provocative. As much
as possible, the first paragraph must have only one
sentence. It must come naturally which allows the
rest of the story to flow from it.
Body Development of the News Story

The lead is the news story in capsule. It serves to

arouse the interest of the reader by the way of giving him
the essentials of the story. His interest kindled, his most
natural tendency is to want to know more. He wants the
details of the story. Hence, the need for the body of the
story which explains or elaborates the feature or features
on the lead.
Framework of the News Story

The framework of the news story may be the

inverted pyramid of the chronological order.
The inverted pyramid places features of the
story according to decreasing importance. The
reader may stop reading anywhere or at any point
in the story but misses no fact more important that
what he has already read.

The inverted pyramid is appropriate for fact stories.

 The chronological order, on the other
hand, is best suited to action stories which call
for the emphasis on movement. Following the
lead are the sequential presentations of the
events in the order that they happened. Stories
with strong narrative elements like games,
accidents and fires are suited to this pattern.
Basic Patterns in News Writing

The basic rule in news writing is to give

the information at once. To achieve this, the
news story should be written in the structure of
an inverted pyramid which allows the
presentation of facts in the order of their
importance.
 Following are the three basic patterns in news writing based on the
inverted pyramid.
Summary. In this pattern, the presentation of the 5 W’s and H is made in the order of
importance.
Lead
(who, what, where, when, why, how)
Body
(elaboration of the best W)
(other details)
Feature. The best W is played up in the lead. The other W’s follow in the second
paragraph and the other details in the succeeding paragraphs.
Lead
(best W or feature)
Body
(4 W’s and H)
(other details)
Combination. One or two of the best W’s are played up in the lead. The
other W’s follow in the second paragraph. The succeeding paragraphs contain the
other details.
Lead
(W, H)
Body
(W, W, H)
(other details)
 The kind of pattern used by the news
writer is dependent upon the nature and
importance of the event which he wishes to
write about. Factors like fact, interest and the
reader should be taken into account. Making
facts interesting to the readers is a challenge to
every news writer.
 There are two reasons why news is written
following the inverted pyramid. First, people
nowadays have less time to read. Hence, they have
to get the most important facts right away in one
story then jump to the next.

Second, to ensure that the news story meets

the cut-off test, the inverted pyramid style is to be
followed in writing it. This means that if the
newspaper runs out of space to print the whole
story, the last one or two paragraphs can be
dropped entirely without damaging the most
important part of the story.
Thank You…