9 Tips

1. Unless you have a reason not to, use the active

voice.
2. Put the action of the sentence in the verb.
3. Reduce wordy verbs.
4. Use expletive constructions sparingly.
5. Try to avoid using vague, all-purpose nouns,
which often lead to wordiness.
6. Unless your readers are familiar with your
terminology, avoid writing strings of nouns.
7. Eliminate unnecessary prepositional phrases.
8. Avoid unnecessarily inflated words.
9. Put wordy phrases on a diet.
 Passive Voice
vs.
Active Voice
Passive Voice
It was decided by the Manager to terminate him.

Active Voice
The manager decided to terminate him.
1.You will be given a ticket by the manager.
The manager will give you a ticket.

2.The new policy was welcomed by the employees.

The employees welcomed the new policy.

3.He was praised by his superior.

His superior praised him.

4.The expense was incurred by the Sales Department.

The Sales Department incurred the expenses.
 To emphasize the action rather than the actor.
E.g.
After long debate, the proposal was endorsed by the long-
range planning committee.

 To keep the subject and focus consistent

throughout the passage.
E.g.
The data processing department recently presented what
proved to be a controversial proposal to expand its staff. After
long debate, the proposal was endorsed by the committee.
 To be tactful by not naming the actor.
E.g.
The procedures were somehow misinterpreted.

 To describe a condition in which the actor is

unknown or unimportant.
E.g.
Every year, thousands of people are diagnosed as
having cancer.

 To create an authoritative tone.

E.g.
Visitors are not allowed after 9:00 p.m.
E.g.
The stability and quality of our financial performance will
will
be developed
developedthrough
throughthe
theprofitable
profitableexecution
executionofofour
our
existing business, as well as the acquisition or
development of new businesses.

We will
will improve
improveour
ourfinancial
financialperformance
performancenot
notonly
onlybyby
executing our existing business more profitably but by
acquiring or developing new businesses.
E.g.
1.The expenses are in excess of the budget we were given.
to
The expenses exceed our budget.

2. John Smith was the recipient of the Carter Employee of the

Year award.
to
John Smith received the Carter Employee of the Year award.

3. The company is planning to expand into Texas.

to
The company plans to expand into Texas.
E.g.
1. It was her last argument that finally persuaded me.
to
Her last argument finally persuaded me.

2. There are likely to be many researchers raising questions

about this methodological approach.
to
Many researchers are likely to raise questions about this
methodological approach.

.
3. There is a problem with the report you submitted.
to
A problem exists with the report.

4. It is inevitable that oil prices will rise.

to
Oil prices will inevitably rise.
Such as:
factor aspect
area situation
degree case

E.g.
Consumer demand is rising in the area of
services.
to
Consumer demand for services is rising.
or
Consumers are demanding more services.
E.g.
1. The city could certainly use a fleet of public operation
transportation vehicles.
to
The city could certainly use a fleet for public transport.

2. Hence, a method must be devised to alleviate the slow response

performance problem.
to
Hence, a method must be devised to alleviate slow response.
E.g.
1.The opinion of the working group.
to
The working group's opinion.

2. The obvious effect of such a range of reference is to assure the

audience of the author's range of learning and intellect.
to
The wide-ranging references in this talk assure the audience that
the author is intelligent and well-read.
3.It is a matter of the gravest possible importance to the
health of anyone with a history of a problem
with disease of the heart that he or she should avoid the
sort of foods with a high percentage of saturated fats.
to
Anyone with a history of heart disease should avoid saturated
fats.
 Instead of: Use:
Cognizant of Know/Aware of
Facilitate Help
Impact on Affect
Implement Start/Create/Carry out/Begin
Subsequent to After
Utilize Use
 Wordy Concise
At the present time Now/Currently
On the occasion of When
With reference to Of/On/For/About
The majority of Most
In the nature of Like
Have the ability to Can
Draw to your attention Point out
Subsequent to the use of After using
 Redundant Concise
New innovations Innovations
Repeat again Repeat
Revert back Revert
Summarize briefly Summarize
Free gift Gift
Close proximity Proximity
Circle around Circle
Exactly the same The same
Biography of her life Biography
Advance forward Advance
Thank you.