Love Courtship and Marriage

What Must I Know about Christian
Dating and Courtship?
RPG
Proverbs 30:18-19
WHAT MUST I KNOW ABOUT CHRISTIAN
DATING AND COURTSHIP
I. The and of Christian

Dating and Courtship
II. The and of Improper

III. God’s and for

Modest Dating and Courtship
RPG

A. The Biblical of Dating and Courtship
1. The Modern Ways of Dating and Courtship
are not Found in the Bible
2. Sexual Purity in whatever aspect of Dating
and Courtship or even in married life is the
Primary Concern of the Bible:
RPG

But among you there must not be even a

hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind
of impurity, or of greed, because these
are improper for God's holy people.
RPG

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins

a man commits are outside his body, but
he who sins sexually sins against his own
body.
RPG

Marriage should be honored by all, and

the marriage bed kept pure, for God will
judge the adulterer and all the sexually
immoral.
RPG

Now concerning the things of which you

wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch
a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual
immorality, let each man have his own
wife, and let each woman have her
own husband. RPG
B. The Practical of Dating and Courtship
1. Dating is an avenue of getting better

acquainted with the opposite sex.
2. A good purpose for dating is that it helps to
adjust to man-woman world and helps to
prepare for marriage itself.
RPG
3. Dating can end up becoming courtship.

Dating leads to courtship. You may date
several people before you have found
someone that you really are interested in as a
life’s mate. Once you have found that person,
you narrow your dating to one person and
strive to win him or her as a life’s mate.
RPG
4. Courtship will not only involve dating this

person, but an effort is made to limit dating to
only that person. (Limited acts of affection
offered: calls, note writing, texting, etc.).
5. The prize of courtship is the girl. She is pursued
and the man is the pursuer. The man pursues
her until she catches him!
RPG
• Some Suggested rules for Dating
1. Don’t limit yourself too soon in friends

2. Try to go with a group when dating
3. Don’t overdo it
4. Going steady is not a sign of maturity
5. Define standards of conduct will need to be
set up in one’s mind
RPG

Dating will expose a person to other people’s
thoughts, habits, spirituality and moral. He should
be cautious.
A. Vices: Smoking, drinking and drugs
B. Immodesty leading to Sexual immorality.
You’ll never know on what level of tolerance
your mate is exposed to. RPG
We need to Understand the

we are in today
The , and of New
Tolerance on Sexual Conduct and Morality
among Christians are alarming!
1. The of Biblical Absolutism on

Sexual Morality and other moral issues
RPG
Ethical Theism- Right and wrong is absolute. It is revealed by God
Modernism- (roughly 1300- 1600)- Truth can be discern by reason

and logical argument
• Renaissance- Man’s abilities is exalted. Gives birth to the
doctrine of humanism
- Man is the center of all things
• The Enlightenment or Age of reason (1600s-1700)
- Standards of right and wrong are not based on the
- nature and character of God; they are the product
of human reasoning.
• Industrial revolution and Darwinism (1800s)
- Theory of evolution was born. Atheism is exalted
Postmodernism (Between 1960 and 1990)
- Truth does not exist objectively; it is a product of a
person’s culture.
• The New Tolerance- Truth is relative; all truths & opinions are equal.

we are in today
The , and of New
Tolerance on Sexual Conduct and Morality
among Christians are alarming!
2. The of Unbiblical Relativism on
RPG
The teaching of New Tolerance

on Moral relativism
1. “Truth is relative to the community in which a
person participates.”
2. And since there are many human
communities, they say, there are necessarily
many different truths
3. “All opinions are equal. Each one has its point, and
all should be respected or praised. That is to
say, there is no rational way to discern RPG
between them.”
The teaching of
on Moral relativism
4. Every individual’s beliefs, values, lifestyle, and
perception of truth claims are equal . . . .
There is no hierarchy of truth. Your beliefs and
my beliefs are equal, and .”
5. What is wrong for one person is not

necessarily wrong for someone else. RPG
The teaching of New Tolerance

on Moral relativism
6. “Let people live the way they want

to live.”
, and leave
everybody else alone.
RPG
The Worldly Model for Romantic The Modest and Responsible Romantic
Relationships Based on Relative Relationships Based on Biblical
Standards on Sexual Morality Standards on Sexual Morality
Age to begin: Age to begin:
 Any age  When ready to marry
Casual acquaintances: Casual acquaintances:

Privileges: Privileges:
 back rubs, casual kisses  None
 slow dance full-body hugs
 view attractive aspects of body
Dating Courtship
 Moderate sexual activity, such as holding  chaperoned time together
hands, kissing, passionate hugging, face-  no touching
caressing, etc.
 1 on 1 alone-time
 cultivation of emotional intimacy
 development of social skills
Going Steady Going Steady
 greater sexual contact, possibly petting  chaperoned time together
and fornication  no touching
 guaranteed companionship
 emotional security
 occasional cohabitation
 partial cohabitation, i.e. "playing house"
Engagement Engagement
 increased sexual contact & cohabitation  guaranteed spouse
 no touching
Marriage
Privileges:
 complete cohabitation
 complete sexual privilege
 having children
Marriage Marriage
 complete cohabitation  Cohabitation
 complete sexual privilege  1 on 1 alone-time
 having children  sexual rights, i.e.; back rubs, kisses, slow
dance full body hugs, viewing of
attractive aspects of body, and sexual
intercourse
 cultivation of emotional intimacy
 guaranteed companionship
 emotional security
 having children
 development of social skills

we are in today
The , and of New
Tolerance on Sexual Conduct and Morality:

2. The of Unbiblical Relativism on
Sexual Morality
RPG



RPG

A. Do not Date or Court nor Marry a Non-Christian
1. It is clearly against God’s will
“Do not be unequally yoked together with

unbelievers. For what fellowship has
righteousness with lawlessness? And what
communion has light with darkness?” RPG

1. It is clearly against God’s will
2. The Problem of Compatibility
3. The Potential of Spiritual decline
B. Do not Become Sexually Involved Before

Marriage RPG

Marriage
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that

you abstain from sexual immorality.
“…The body is not meant for sexual immorality,

but for the Lord,…”
RPG

Marriage
Flee from sexual immorality. All other

sins a man commits are outside his
body, but he who sins sexually sins
against his own body.
RPG


Marriage
C. Pick a Mate Primarily Based on their Christian
Character RPG
RPG
RPG
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS
LOVE COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE RPG

LOVE, COURTSHIP, AND MARRIAGE
I. The of True Love

A. Infatuation and True Love
1. Infatuation sees the other person as

perfect; true love sees the other
person’s flaws, but still loves
him/her RPG
I. The of True Love

2. Infatuation makes one’s world revolve

around a single person; true love
continues to give importance to
other relationships. RPG
I. The of True Love

3. Infatuation is instantly for a

person, like or a
True love
needs to take root and grow. RPG
I. The of True Love

4. Infatuation is selfish, wanting to meet
one’s own needs, like
True love respects the other person,

putting his/her needs first. RPG
I. The of True Love

5. Infatuation cannot stand quarrels.

They can damage the relationship.
True love survives and grows when
arguments are handled in a RPG
mature way.
I. The of True Love

6. Infatuation is based on feelings or

emotions, which are changeable,
temporary, and short-lived. True
love endures, since it is a RPG
commitment.
I. The of True Love

B. Definition of True Love

1. True love is a to respect and
protect others and seek their best.
(TTL-TM) RPG
I. The of True Love

B. Definition of True Love

2. True love is a to care deeply for
someone with genuine concern,
wanting what is best (or the highest RPG
good) for the person loved. (TLW, SMCI)

I. The of True Love

II. The of True Love
RPG

A. The of True Love- 1
Cor. 13:4-7
RPG
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it

does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it
is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It
always protects, always trusts, always RPG
hopes, always perseveres.


A. The of True Love
1. and kind
2. Does not envy or boast
3. Not proud RPG

A. The of True Love
4. It is not rude nor nor

easily angered
5. It keeps no record of wrongs RPG

A. The of True Love
6. It does not -
6. It rejoices in truth RPG
7. Love

A. The of True Love
9. True Love always trusts

10. Always hopes, always perseveres
RPG

A. The of True Love
True love is in Greek. The

unconditional love of God exhibited
in the Bible. RPG

A. The of True Love-
1 Cor. 13:4-7
B. The of other Loves

RPG

Four Different Kinds of Love
1. Agape (giving oneself)

This is totally selfless love, a love RPG
which comes from and rooted in God.



The fundamental attribute of Agape love is
RPG
sacrifice. It’s a 100/0 not 50/50 relationship.


RPG


RPG


This is the true and sincere love. RPG

2. Stergo (Natural affection)

This is the innate love we have for
those in our families.
RPG

3. Phileo (Friendship)
This is psychological-social love. It is
Always translated friend in the Bible.
It speaks of the enjoyment we RPG

gain from another’s company.
RPG

This is a 50/50 relationship.
RPG

4. Eros (Self-serving passion)

It is love for the sole purpose of
sexual satisfaction. (It is the lustful
Love).
RPG

4. Eros (Self-serving passion)
RPG
I. The of True Love

III. The of Lustful Love
RPG

Intense or unrestrained sexual craving
It wants to go outside God’s guidelines to
find satisfaction.
a passionate or overwhelming desire
a strong desire or drive

Craving Sexually what God has
RPG
Forbidden
I. The of True Love

A. Lustful feelings Right Thinking
RPG

The Case of Ammon and Tamar:
RPG

1 Cor. 13:6- 7a (NIV)
“Love (agape)
but .7
RPG

Definition of True love:
1. True love is a to respect and
protect others and seek their best.
RPG

Definition of True love:
2. True love is a to care deeply for
someone with genuine concern, wanting
what is best (or the highest good) for RPG
the person loved.


1. Wrong Sources of Information about
Love the Mind
MEET RPG
MEET
Stands for
RPG

Love the Mind
 Vulgar and violent TV shows or

movies RPG

Love the Mind
 Commercials, advertisements, Tabloids,
radio programs, songs, internet, books, RPG
magazines, evil people, etc.

Love the Mind
Love bad Character RPG

Love bad Character
Each time we choose a TV program, a book, a
movie, an internet site, a magazine, a radio
RPG
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever

is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
commendable, if there is any excellence, if
there is anything worthy of praise, think
about these things. RPG

B. Lustful feelings Good Judgment
The Case of Joseph and
Potiphar’s wife RPG

1. “Kung ang Palay na ang Lumalapit
sa Manok.”
RPG

2. How daring are you?
“I Dare You!”
RPG

 Drink a glass of poison

 To sit on a chair that is on fire
 Pour boiling water over yourself RPG
 Drop some muriatic acid into your eye


3. Joseph chose to say “No” to
temptation- Gen. 39:9-10
RPG
No-one is greater in this house than I am. My

master has withheld nothing from me except
you, because you are his wife. How then could
I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?
And though she spoke to Joseph day
after day, he refused to go to bed with RPG
her or even to be with her.


4. Joseph chose to run from
Temptation- Gen. 39:12
RPG
She caught him by his cloak and said,

Come to bed with me! But he left
his cloak in her hand and ran
out of the house. RPG

5. We can Choose to Make
Ourselves Pure too!
RPG

body, but he who sins sexually
sins against his own body. RPG
1. Living together as husband and wife without

the sanctity of marriage is acceptable
2. Pre-marital sex is OK but use “safe sex”
in order not to get pregnant RPG
3. Same sex relationship is honorable

4. One- night stands represents great
enjoyment
5. Extra marital affairs are OK as long as RPG
you still care for your true wife and family.


body, but he who sins sexually
sins against his own body. RPG
I. The of True Love

A. and True Love
B. of True Love
A. The of True Love
B. The of True Love
1. Wrong Sources of Information about Love the Mind
2. Wrong Sources of Information about Love bad Character
RPG
Conclusion:
RPG
RPG
I. The Necessary Before

in Love
A. Are you to start a
Relationship?
B. Are you to accept emotional
Responsibilities?
RPG

in Love
C. Are you to stand on

Biblical principles on purity?
D. Are you to seriously
engage in a relationship? RPG

in Love
II. The Necessary Before
in Love
RPG

in Love
A. Fall in Love with enough
There is always a right time for

everything!
Limit your emotions, control your actions! RPG

in Love
The Metamorphosing Butterfly

and the Merciful Little Boy
RPG

in Love
B. Fall in Love with no
1. Don’t Rushed it out!
Rushing ahead may result in life-long
regrets!
RPG
Source: Herpes- The Gift that Keeps on Giving,
www.premaritalsex.info.regrets.htm
Herpes: The Gift that Keeps on Giving
RPG
RPG
RPG
RPG

in Love
Rushing ahead may result in life-long
regrets!
RPG
Rushing ahead may result in life-long regrets!

 Impatience led to
(Analysis from the Story of Brian and Jennifer. Source: T&TL, TM )
1) Jennifer could have painful recurring

blisters all her life
2) Brian, at some time, could also have
an outbreak of sores RPG

(Analysis from the Story of Brian and Jennifer. Source: T&TL,TM )
3) There is only 65% chance that any children Jennifer

would have in the future would die due to being infected
by herpes. Only 10% of those who survive would be
normal. Therefore it would have necessary for
Jennifer to deliver her children by caesarean RPG
section to avoid contact with the herpes infection.


(Analysis from the Story of Brian and Jennifer. Source: T&TL, TM)
4) Brian and Jennifer would infect anyone they

had sexual contact with. The disease could
also be transmitted by kissing or
touching the infected area. RPG

1) As often happens, once young people

choose to experience sexual intimacy
before marriage, Brian broke up with
Jennifer only 3 months after she RPG
contracted herpes.

2) Jennifer was left feeling rejected and

forsaken, even though she gave her most
precious gift to Brian, her virginity. RPG

3) Past guilt would continue to haunt both Brian and

Jennifer as they meet others with whom they wish
to develop a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Both of them had already ruined the joy
of giving their best gift, their virginity, to RPG
their spouse.

4) The realization that they would infect others

would cause continued guilt. Both Brian and
Jennifer were left with the dilemma as to when or
even if they will tell their future boyfriend/
girlfriend the truth about their incurable RPG
sexually transmitted disease.


1) You could be infected not just herpes but

other STD’s and STI’s which are far
devastating and destructive than
this one.
RPG

1) There are approximately 30 different STD’s

and STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases
and Sexually Transmitted Infections).
RPG

1) Among others are

leading
RPG
- a serious sexually transmitted

disease caused by the spirally twisted
bacterium Treponema pallidum that
affects many body organs and parts,
including the genitals, brain, skin, and
nervous tissue (Encarta).
RPG
RPG
RPG
RPG
RPG
RPG
RPG
AIDS- Kaposi’s Sarcoma

(After M. K. Kaposi (1837-1902), Hungarian dermatologist)
A rare type of cancer of vascular tissue in the skin or

internal organs. A mild form most often affects older
Italian, Jewish, and African Bantu males. A more
aggressive form occurs in about one-third of patients with
acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), primarily in
homosexual or bisexual men. According to the American
Cancer Society, Kaposi’s Sarcoma causes or contributes
to death in perhaps 30 percent of AIDS cases. In
1994, a new type of herpes virus was found to be RPG
associated with Kaposi's sarcoma. (Encarta Premium)


2) Abortion
3) Dropping out of school
4) Bad reputation
5) Undeveloped/unhealthy babies RPG
6) Force marriage

7) Broken relationships with family

and church members
8) Loss of self-respect RPG

9) Guilt/ No peace
10) Frustration
11) Embarrassment RPG
9) Guilt/ No peace
1Cor. 6:18 (NIV)

body, but he who sins sexually sins
against his own body.
RPG
9) Guilt/ No peace
It is God's will that you should be

sanctified: that you should avoid sexual
immorality; that each of you should
learn to control his own body in a way
that is holy and honorable, RPG
Engaging in pre-marital sex before marriage

may offers short term thrills, but results in life-
long regrets- Gal. 6:7-8
RPG
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for

whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
For the one who sows to his own flesh
will from the flesh reap corruption, but the
one who sows to the Spirit will from
the Spirit reap eternal life. RPG
Do You Recall it?

Definition of True Love:
1. True love is a to respect and protect
others and seek their best. (TTL-TM)
2. True love is a to care deeply for someone
with genuine concern, wanting what is best (or the
highest good) for the person loved. (TLW, SMCI) RPG
Do You Recall it?

Questions:
1. How does Brian’s love for Jennifer compare
with our definition?
2. How does Brian’s love for Jennifer compare

with 1 Cor. 13:4-7? RPG
Love is , love is . It does not envy, it

does not boast, it is not proud. It is not , it
is , it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs.
but rejoices with the truth. It
, always trusts, always
RPG
hopes, always perseveres.
Disturbing Statistics:
( Thankfulness and True Love-Teachers’ Manual- VOICE Philippines)
1. of married couples who had pre-

marital sex end up separated
marital sex fail to have a satisfying happy
marriage. RPG
Disturbing Statistics:
( Thankfulness and True Love-Teachers’ Manual- VOICE Philippines)

marital sex fail to have a satisfying happy
marriage.
3. of couples who get married before
they finish high school break up. RPG
III. The Necessary Before

out of Love
A. Am I still in the Love of God?
 How about my security and assurance of
salvation? ( )
RPG
Who shall separate us from the love of

Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or
persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or
danger, or sword? No, in all these things
we are more than conquerors through
him who loved us. RPG
For I am sure that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor
things to come, nor powers, nor height
nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the
love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. RPG

out of Love
 Assurance and security of salvation is not
license to go on sinning! Rom. 6:1; 1 John 3:9
RPG
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on

sinning so that grace may increase? By
no means! We died to sin; how can we live
in it any longer?
RPG
No one who is born of God will continue to

sin, because God's seed remains in him; he
cannot go on sinning, because he has been
born of God.
RPG

out of Love
 How about my security and assurance of
salvation?
 Assurance and security of salvation is not
license to go on sinning!
RPG
B. Is my Life Forever Ruined?


out of Love
 If I lost my virginity, am I forever ruined?
C. Is there any Hope of Restoration?

 Our God is a God of Second Chances! RPG
1John 1:9 (NIV)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and us
from .
RPG
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and

did not cover up my iniquity. I said, I will
confess my transgressions to the LORD--
and .
RPG
as far as the east is from the west, so far

has he removed our transgressions from
us.
RPG

out of Love
RPG
The Outline
I. The Necessary Before in Love
A. Are you to start a Relationship?
B. Are you to accept emotional Responsibilities?
C. Are you to stand on Biblical principles on purity?
D. Are you to seriously engage in a relationship?
II. The Necessary Before in Love

2. Do Remember it!
3. Disturbing Statistics
III. The Necessary Before out of Love
A. Am I still in the Love of God? RPG

Love Courtship and Marriage

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What Must I Know about Christian

Dating and Courtship?

I. The and of Christian

II. The and of Improper

III. God’s and for

I. The and of Christian

2. Sexual Purity in whatever aspect of Dating

But among you there must not be even a

2. Sexual Purity in whatever aspect of Dating

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins

2. Sexual Purity in whatever aspect of Dating

Marriage should be honored by all, and

2. Sexual Purity in whatever aspect of Dating

Now concerning the things of which you

B. The Practical of Dating and Courtship

1. Dating is an avenue of getting better

B. The Practical of Dating and Courtship

3. Dating can end up becoming courtship.

B. The Practical of Dating and Courtship

4. Courtship will not only involve dating this

• Some Suggested rules for Dating

1. Don’t limit yourself too soon in friends

II. The and of Improper

We need to Understand the

1. The of Biblical Absolutism on

Modernism- (roughly 1300- 1600)- Truth can be discern by reason

We need to Understand the

The teaching of New Tolerance

5. What is wrong for one person is not

The teaching of New Tolerance

6. “Let people live the way they want

Casual acquaintances: Casual acquaintances:

We need to Understand the

1. The of Biblical Absolutism on

I. The and of Christian

II. The and of Improper

III. God’s and for

III. God’s and for

“Do not be unequally yoked together with

III. God’s and for

B. Do not Become Sexually Involved Before

B. Do not Become Sexually Involved Before

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that

“…The body is not meant for sexual immorality,

B. Do not Become Sexually Involved Before

Flee from sexual immorality. All other

III. God’s and for

A. Do not Date or Court nor Marry a Non-Christian

LOVE COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE RPG

I. The of True Love

1. Infatuation sees the other person as

I. The of True Love

2. Infatuation makes one’s world revolve

I. The of True Love

3. Infatuation is instantly for a

I. The of True Love

True love respects the other person,

I. The of True Love

5. Infatuation cannot stand quarrels.

I. The of True Love

6. Infatuation is based on feelings or

I. The of True Love

B. Definition of True Love