Achieving Cohesion &

Understanding SBA

Session 6 Unit 2
 Mid-term Course Evaluation
• Give us your feedback about this course!
 Paragraph Structure
• An adequate, well-developed body
paragraph of a discussion essay
should have the following four parts:
Topic Sentence Citation as
(Claim) Support

Elaboration of Commentary
the Claim on the Citation
 Weaving in the Citation
• When we use a citation, we have to
carefully think about how this use
could be meaningful.
 Weaving in the Citation

Today, we are too self-centered. Most families no

longer sit down to eat together, preferring instead to
eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment
(Gleick, 2008). Everything is about what we want.

• This is a WEAK example.

• The evidence is not related to the claim 
What does the claim about self-centeredness
have to do with families eating together?
• The writer does not explain the connection.
 Weaving in the Citation

• Evidence Today, Americans are too self-centered. Even our

smoothly families do not matter as much anymore as they
integrated
once did. Other people and activities take
• Link between
precedence. In fact, the evidence shows that most
claim and
evidence American families no longer eat together, preferring
strengthened instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next
• Evidence appointment (Gleick, 2008). Sit-down meals are a
itself is time to share and connect with others; however, that
analyzed connection has become less valued, as families begin
to prize individual activities over shared time,
promoting self-centeredness over group identity,
 Transition to Citation
Reference Reminder Language

• It helps the reader know clearly which

idea comes from a source and which
idea comes from you (as a student
writer).
 Transition to Citation
Reference Reminder Language

Common ones:
• According to Patel (2008), …
• Patel (2008) states that…
Reference Reminder Language
• Variations:
Reference Reminder Language
• Read Paragraph D (on washback
effects) again.
• Find out the reference reminder
language in that paragraph.
 Signaling Transition

Idea 1 Idea 2 Idea 3 Idea 4

• When you overuse these transition

words:
– The text becomes mechanical.
– It does not help create a good flow.
 Signaling Transition
• How many transition words are there?
 Signaling Transition
• How many transition words are there?
[in the shaded section]
Achieving Smooth Transition
• With no transition word used, the text
still flows smoothly.

Transition was done smoothly

with other devices!!!
Achieving Smooth Transition
• Let’s take a closer look at the shaded
part and find out how the sentences
have been tied together.
 Look at the subject of each main sentence.
• Patel (2006) states that “[to] assume that every child is at
the same developmental level at seven, nine, fourteen
and sixteen [is to] defy all that is known about child
development” (p.45).
• The author conducted an investigation on the linguistic
Focus stayed skills of 2,000 school children at different ages and
the same! examined the relationship between age and cognitive
development.
• He proposes the idea of “personalized learning”, which is
Cohesion to help children learn at their own pace and handle tests
achieved!!! better when the time is appropriate (Patel, 2006, p.65).
• In his discussion of the drawbacks of standardized testing,
Patel concludes that because many candidates are not
ready for imposed mass testing on the same day and at
the same time, noticeable personal pressures are created.
 Imagine if the text was written in this way…
• Patel (2006) states that “[to] assume that every child is at
the same developmental level at seven, nine, fourteen
and sixteen [is to] defy all that is known about child
development” (p.45).
• An investigation was conducted by the author on the
Focus keeps linguistic skills of 2,000 school children at different ages
changing and examined the relationship between age and cognitive
development.
• An idea of “personalized learning” was proposed, which is
Difficult to to help children learn at their own pace and handle tests
follow!!! better when the time is appropriate (Patel, 2006, p.65).
• In his discussion of the drawbacks of standardized testing,
Patel concludes that because many candidates are not
ready for imposed mass testing on the same day and at
the same time, noticeable personal pressures are created.
 Achieving Smooth Transition
• Look at the whole excerpt again.

Conjunction
is used
when there
is a change
of focus.
Achieving Smooth Transition
• An important strategy to achieve a
good flow of ideas is to follow the
‘known-new principle’.
Achieving Smooth Transition
• This ‘known-new principle’ governs
the arrangement of information in a
sentence.
Subject Verb Object

Subject
Academic qualifications
Graduating from a university
Predicate
Predicate
are required in many professions.
gives people more choices when it
comes to choosing a job.
 Known-new Principle
• When you begin a new sentence:

Predicate

Subject
Add new
information
Start with in the rest of
known the sentence
information
 Known-new Principle
• Between (a) and (b), which one should you
choose?
 Known-new Principle
• Read the two versions of the same
text on the Session notes.
• Underline all the subjects.
• Identify which version follows the
‘known-new principle’.
• Version B closely follows the ‘known-new’ principle.
 Known-new Principle
• The ‘known-new principle’ can be achieved by:
1. Using a pronoun to refer to something in the
earlier sentence
2. …
 Use of Pronouns
• Pronouns such as this or these are
often used in academic writing to
refer back (and sometimes forward)
to something which has been
mentioned already.
• They help relate sentences to one
another.
 Use of Pronouns
This/That It/These
• Used to refer to • Used to refer to
verb phrases nouns/noun phrases

Another resource, Ten Steps in a Research Paper, has

been made available on the library’s server. It is
aimed at equipping students with solid research skills.

• “It” refers to the noun phrase “Ten Steps in

a Research Paper”.
 Use of Pronouns
This/That It/These
• Used to refer to • Used to refer to
verb phrases nouns/noun phrases

Another resource, Ten Steps in a Research Paper, has

been made available on the library’s server. This is
aimed at equipping students with solid research skills.

• “This” refers to the verb phrase “another

resource being made available on the
library server”.
 Use of Pronouns
This/That It/These
• Used to refer to • Used to refer to
verb phrases nouns/noun phrases

Since the questionnaire did not provide clear

evidence of students’ views, we decided to conduct
an interview with someone from SAO. It provided
more useful information.

• “It” refers to the noun phrase “the

interview”.
 Use of Pronouns
This/That It/These
• Used to refer to • Used to refer to
verb phrases nouns/noun phrases

Since the questionnaire did not provide clear

evidence of students’ views, we decided to conduct
an interview with someone from SAO. This provided
more useful information.

• “This” refers to the verb phrase “conducting

an interview with someone from SAO”.
 Use of Pronouns
• Go through Paragraph D (on
washback effect) again.
• Identify the reference of each
pronoun underlined.
Whether/how tests focus on unessential areas,
or the negative impacts of tests on learning
 Known-new Principle
• The ‘known-new principle’ can be achieved by:
1. Using a pronoun to refer to something in the
earlier sentence
2. Repeating a word from the earlier sentence
3. Using words related in meaning to the earlier
sentence (i.e. synonyms)
4. Using words that echo an entire idea from the
earlier sentence (i.e. summary words)
5. Using passive voice
 Known-new Principle
• Look at the sentences in Task 5 of the
Session notes.
• Identify what strategies have been
used to achieve the ‘known-new
principle’.
 a&b

c/d & e

b
c&e

c/d
Achieving Smooth Transition
• Read the three short paragraphs on
your Session notes.
• All of these paragraphs are not very
cohesive.
• Rewrite them to improve the flow.
• Pay attention to the order of old and
new information.
• Add a conjunction when there is a
change of focus.
The hotel, which is one of the most well-known hotels in
the country, wanted to enhance its international
reputation by hosting the latest international dancing
competition. Although the event was widely advertised,
not many people participated in the competition.
The latest international dancing competition was held at
the hotel, which is one of the most well-known hotels in
the country. The hotel spent a lot of money on advertising
the event since it wanted to enhance its international
reputation; however, it failed to attract many people.
English language instructors know that students need to
understand the difference between formal and informal
language. However, this understanding cannot usually be
acquired quickly.
Homework is a vital and valuable part of education. As there are
only a few hours in each school day, there is not enough time to
cover properly all the subjects (that) children need to study. As such,
setting homework can help extend study beyond school hours, and
this allows a wider and deeper education. Setting homework also
makes the best use of teachers, who can spend lesson time teaching
rather than supervising individual work that could be done at home.
Education is about pushing boundaries, so learning should not stop
at the entrance to the classroom. Homework allows students to take
skills learnt in the classroom and apply them at home. It also
encourages them to go above and beyond what they do in school.
For instance, students learn how to read at school, but in order to
become a better reader, they need to practice reading at home,
where they can get help from parents and can learn at their own
pace.
 Understanding SBA

• SBA is implemented to counteract the

negative effects of standardized testing.
• One of its main aim is to reduce
dependence on the results of public
examinations (a “one-off” chance) by
offering a more comprehensive way to
assess students’ abilities.
 Understanding SBA

Core Subjects Elective Subjects

• Chinese • Chinese History
Language • History
• English • Biology
Language • Chemistry
• Liberal Studies • Physics
• Integrated Science / Combined Science
• Informational & Communication
Technology
• Design & Applied Technology
• Visual Arts
 Understanding SBA

Public DSE
SBA
Exam Results

Graded by Assessed by
anonymous school
markers teachers
 Understanding SBA
Three Areas of Study
1. Self and Personal Development
2. Society and Culture
3. Science, Technology & Environment

Public Exam SBA

Paper 1 + Independent DSE Results
Paper 2 Enquiry
(50%+30%) Study (20%)

Each student chooses a title and conducts an IES.

The title should be related to his/her learning in the
Areas of Study and yet should extend to a new problem,
issue or context not directly covered in the six modules.
 Understanding SBA

Questions to reflect upon:

1. Are students able to learn better in LS
through its SBA?
2. Is the SBA of LS a fair way to assess
students’ academic performance?
3. Is SBA suitable only for certain academic
subjects?
Formative Assessment 2
 Formative Assessment 2
• In your group, discuss:
1. The negative effects of assessing
Liberal Studies (LS) solely through a
standardized test
Read “The Issues of Standardized
Testing” thoroughly to gather
useful points for this regard!!!
2. How effective/ineffective the IES helps
reduce the negative effects Do research
• Share your point(s) with the class.
 Formative Assessment 2
• Negative effects of standardized
testing:
1. Pressures Patel (2006); Richardson (2004)

2. Washback Davidson (1999); Norris (2009)

3. Narrowed development Davidson (1999)

e.g. critical thinking sidelined
4. Fairness Norris (2009); Greenberg (2008)**

Norris (2009) 5. Failed to see education in a positive light

Patel (2006) 6. Failed to reflect students’ true abilities
 Formative Assessment 2
• How effective/ineffective the IES
helps reduce the negative effects?
Citation to – E.g. Pressures in standardized tests
support  Are there any pressures in IES?

Cannot Can
counteract… counteract…
Formative Assessment 2
 Assignments
1. APA Quiz on Moodle
[Please study the Guide to Citation Skills
before your attempt!!]
2. Formative Assessment 1
- Paraphrasing exercises
3. Formative Assessment 2
- First draft of your body paragraph