Project STIR

Steps Towards Independence

and Responsibility

Chapter 2: Communication and

Assertiveness
Review of Class Rules..
Ideas for class rules
Be on time
Respect everyone
Listen while others are speaking
Take only enough time to say what you need to
say; don’t talk too long
Have fun
Stay on topic
Share your ideas/thoughts with the whole
group, not just a few people
Review

Superman/Kryptonite

Islands of Calm
What will we learn in
Chapter 2:
It is Important to be a Good
Communicator
3 Styles of Communication
Passive (Non- Assertive)
Aggressive
Assertive
Listening Skills
Handling Criticism
Being a Good Negotiator
Communication

It’s more than just talk!

Communication

In order to get what

you want, you must
be able to tell
people what you
want in a way that
helps them to want
to listen to you.

How you say something, or your style of

communication, is very important.
3 Styles of Communication

Aggressive Assertive
Passive
Passive
You are being passive when you:
• do not stand up for what is best for you
• do not let other people know what you
need or want
• let other people decide what is best for
you

When you are passive you:

• stand or sit slumped down
• look at the floor and your feet
• mumble
When you are passive…
After being passive you may feel bad:
you feel controlled by other people
you feel little
you feel helpless
When you are passive…
When you are passive, other people may see
you as:
little
not able to make decisions
always needing help
childish
When you are passive…
Is being passive a good way to communicate?
Aggressive
You are aggressive when you:
• want to win at any cost
• are pushy
• put down other people
• don’t listen to or respect other
people’s feelings or ideas

When you are aggressive:

• you stand too close to people
• you clench your fists
• you talk too loudly or shout
When you are aggressive…
When you are aggressive:
• you feel people don’t like you
• you feel angry
• you feel alone
• people avoid you
When you are aggressive…
When you are aggressive other people see you as:
• a loudmouth
• a troublemaker
• childish and immature
When you are aggressive…
Is being aggressive a good way to communicate?
Assertive
You are assertive when you:
• stand up for what is best for you
• make sure other people understand what
you need or want
• openly and honestly express your ideas and
feelings
• respect other people’s rights and ideas
• listen to other people
Assertive
When you are assertive
• you stand tall
• you look people in the eye
• you speak clearly
• you listen with interest
When you are assertive…
When you are assertive:
• you feel honest and respected
• you feel proud
When you are assertive…
When you are assertive other people see you as:
• an adult - able to make decisions
• able to do things - independent
• honest
When you are assertive…
Is being assertive a good way to communicate?
Being Assertive
•Assertiveness is a very effective style of
communicating or talking with people.

•Assertiveness means telling people your needs

or ideas clearly and directly.

•It means not being afraid or shy when you tell

people what you want.
People who got what they wanted by being
ASSERTIVE

Susan B. Anthony – whose

persistence in the long
struggle for female suffrage
won American women the
right to vote in 1919.

Rosa Parks – whose assertive refusal to

give up her seat on a Montgomery,
Alabama bus in 1954 sparked the citywide
bus boycott, which propelled Martin
Luther King and the Southern Christian
Leadership Conference to national action
and prominence.
People who got what they wanted by being
ASSERTIVE

Mary Temple Grandin

a professor of animal science
at Colorado State University,
world-renowned autism
spokesperson and consultant
to the livestock industry on
animal behavior. She is widely
celebrated as one of the first
individuals on the autism
spectrum to publicly share
insights from her personal
experience of autism.
People who got what they wanted by being
ASSERTIVE

Abraham Lincoln – whose assertive refusal

to allow the South to secede from
the Union led to the Civil War and the
emancipation of African-American slaves.

Harry Truman – whose gutsy

assertiveness got him the nickname “Give
‘Em Hell Harry,” and won him a presidential
election many had predicted he would lose.
People who got what they wanted by being
ASSERTIVE

Martin Luther King, Jr. – whose nonviolent

assertiveness inspired millions of
American people.

Mohandas K. Ghandi – who’s passive but

determined assertiveness freed a nation and
inspired subjugated people all over the world to
emulate his nonviolent methods to gain their
freedom.
 Being Assertive =
Showing Confidence
• Stand straight and look people in the eye when speaking
with them
• Sit down in a relaxed but businesslike manner
• Keep eye contact with people when talking to them
• Greet others in a friendly way and start the conversation
• Don’t wait for permission to speak before speaking up
• Be organized and prepared for meetings
• Dress appropriately for meetings
• Be polite and pleasant during discussion; don’t
interrupt.
• Speak clearly and think about what you want to say
before you say it.
• Be a good listener and STAY CALM!
Being Assertive is NOT…
• Being pushy and rude
• Talking on and on without listening
• Giving up if people don’t agree right
away
• Demanding that you get your own way
• Getting mad if you don’t like what you
hear
• Letting others talk for you
Assertiveness
Assertive Behavior Characteristics:
-The problems are focused on
-Good working relationships are established
-Anger is dealt with appropriately
-Your feelings are expressed

Results of being Assertive:

-You will gain peoples respect
-Problems have a good chance of being resolved
-You will feel good about yourself
Using Assertive Behavior
To Make a Refusal:
State your position
Explain your reason
Express your understanding

Make a Request:
State the problem
Make a request
Getting clarification
Now Let’s Role Play!!
My neighbor doesn’t like my dog.
Location-Neighborhood.
Situation-A neighbor comes over and says your dog is
barking all night long and keeping him awake. He
wants you to get rid of your dog and says he will call
the police if you don’t. You know it is not your dog
because your dog doesn’t bark at night.
Mission- Your goal is to convince your neighbor not to
call the police about your dog.
Role-Play
I like to talk about

LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

Now Let’s Review it!

What did you notice?

Will the neighbor call the
police? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
Now Let’s Role Play!!
My SC won’t help me change jobs.
Location- Support Coordinators office
Situation- You are meeting with your service
coordinator and you want her to help you find a new
job. She thinks you should stay at your current job.
Mission- To get your Support Coordinator to agree
to help you..
Role-Play
I like to talk about
Why do you want a new job
What are your rights?
LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION
Now Let’s Review it!
What did you notice?
Will the Support
Coordinator help with
finding a new job? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
 Review

Passive Aggressive Assertive

3 Styles of Communication
Communication

Fill in the blanks

In order to get what you ____,

you must be able to ____
people what you want in a
way that helps them WANT to
________ you.
Communication
GOOD Communication

It Takes Practice!
Communication
Listening skills
What does it take
to be a good
communicator?
Taking Criticism

Negotiation skills
Communication
Why do you need to be
a good listener?

https://youtu.be/t2z9mdX1j4A
Tips for good listening skills
•Look at the person speaking—watch facial
expressions and body language.

•Give feedback to show you are listening. (“Really?

Great! Oh no!” and facial expressions)

•Paraphrase (say in another way) what the person

said.

•Ask questions to make sure you understand.

Communication:
Try it out!
1. Divide into groups of two.
2. First one person talks for a whole minute
and the other person listens.
3. The listener repeats back what the talker
said.
4. Change roles and do it again.
5. Remember to practice the tips for being a
good listener.
Communication
Why do you need to be able
to take criticism properly?
Criticism…
Don’t let it get to you!

If the criticism is true, agree with it.

If you have made a mistake, admit what you did.

(but be assertive…everyone makes mistakes.)

If there is no good reason for the criticism, or if

you already did one of the items above, ask the
person what exactly is bothering him or her.

Remember….STAY CALM!!!
Now Let’s Role Play!!
My SC won’t help me change jobs.

Location- Home
Situation- You just washed the dishes at your
home and your roommate is drying them.
She finds a skillet that is still greasy and
criticizes you about it.
Mission- To be calm and discuss the issue
Role-Play
I like to talk about
LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION
Now Let’s Review it!
What did you notice?
Was the situation handled
well? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
Now Let’s Role Play!!
My new hat I love

Location- Restaurant
Situation- You bought a new hat that you love
and your friend hates the hat and keeps telling
you how much he hates it
Mission- To be calm and discuss the issue
Role-Play
I like to talk about

LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

Now Let’s Review it!
What did you notice?
Was the situation handled
well? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
Negotiate

Why do you need to negotiate?

Steps to negotiating
Ask for what you want and say why you want it.

If the person
If he/she doesn’t agree, suggest a
agrees, thank
compromise
him/her.

If the person If he/she doesn’t agree,

agrees, thank ask him/her for a
him/her. solution.

If you agree with If you don’t agree with

the solution, thank the solution, suggest a
him/her. different idea.*
Now Let’s Role Play!!
Time to negotiate!
Location- Home
Situation- It is your night to cook the meal at
your house but a friend has asked you to go
out to eat. You want your roommate to let
you off the hook for cooking tonight
Mission- Come to a compromise
Role-Play
I like to talk about

LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

Now Let’s Review it!
What did you notice?
Was the situation handled
well? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
Now Let’s Role Play!!
Time to negotiate!
Location- Home
Situation- Your very favorite program is on TV
tonight for the season finale, but it is twice as
long as usual. Your roommate usually watches
his favorite show right after yours but will have
to miss it if you watch all of your program.
Mission- Come to a compromise
Role-Play
I like to talk about
LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION
Now Let’s Review it!
What did you notice?
Was the situation handled
well? Why?
What do we struggle with?
What is really hard to do?
 Review:
What did we learn?
Let’s Review the Day:

It is Important to be a Good Communicator

3 styles of Communication
Passive
Aggressive
Assertive
Listening Skills
Handling Criticism
Being a Good Negotiator
Next Class

Chapter 3- Problem Solving

Date:
Time: