Basic Counseling Skills

By Rachel C. Reyes-Laureano, PhD

Listen to Me
First there is the hearing with the ear, which we all
know; and the hearing with the non-ear, which is a
state like a tranquil pond, a lake that is completely
quiet and when you drop a stone into it, it makes
little waves that disappear.
A state where there is absolute quietness of the
mind...
I Don’t Want to Listen
After many years of hearing stories of abuse, death
tragic accidents, and unhappiness...my exposure to
other people’s trauma had changed me on a
fundamental level… Rather than stay in touch with
the heart that was breaking, again and again...I and
started building walls..
Reflexivity
● So hard to know what to say
● Substitute
● Just emerging from a period of burnout
● Not in the right frame of mind to be a therapeutic
person
● Need to do more inner healing before I can do
counseling
● What am I going to say?
What is burn-out?
Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting
from chronic stress that has not been successfully
managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:
What is burn-out?
● Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
● Increased mental distance from one’s job, or
feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s
job; and
● Reduced professional efficacy.
Seven Sources of Job Burnout
● Work overload vs. sustainable workload
● Lack of control vs. feelings of choice and control
● Insufficient rewards vs. recognition and reward
● Breakdown of community vs. a sense of
community
● Unfairness vs. fairness, respect, and justice
Seven Sources of Job Burnout
● Significant value conflicts vs. meaningful valued
work
● Lack of fit (incongruence) between the person
and the job vs. high job-person fit
Recovering from Burnout
● Recovery from burnout is a slow journey
● Think about the “why” of burnout
● Focus on the basics - exercise, getting enough sleep,
eat healthy, reconnect with loved ones, mend
relationships
● Take a vacation
● Reassess your goals
● Say “no” politely
● Practice positive thinking
Running on empty...
● You cannot give what you don’t have…
● How can I be an instrument of healing if I myself
is unwell?
ESTABLISHING THE THERAPEUTIC
ALLIANCE
Creating a Helping Relationship

1. Can I be in some way which will be perceived

by the other person as trustworthy, as
dependable or consistent in some deep sense?
When I am congruent, then others see me as
dependable.
Creating a Helping Relationship

2. Can I be expressive enough as a person that

what I am will be communicated unambigously?
If I can be sensitively aware of and acceptant
toward my own feelings, then I can form a
helping relationship.
Creating a Helping Relationship

3. Can I let myself experience positive attitudes

toward this other person - warmth, caring, liking,
interest, respect?
Unconditional positive regard
Creating a Helping Relationship

4. Can I be strong enough as a person to be

separate from the other?
When I can freely feel the strength of being a
separate person, then I can accept the other
person more deeply.
Creating a Helping Relationship

5. Can I let myself enter fully into the world of his

feelings and personal meanings and see these as
he does?
Can I step into his private world so completely that
I lose all desire to evaluate it or judge it?
Creating a Helping Relationship

6. Can I receive him as he is?

If I can receive him unconditionally to give him
freedom to accept himself.
Creating a Helping Relationship

7. Can I meet this individual as a person who is in

process of becoming, or will I be bound by his past
and by my past?
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 1: Rapport
and trust building
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 2: Problem
identification
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 3:
Deepening
understanding and
Goal Setting
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 4: Work
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 5: Closure
Stages of the Counseling Relationship

Stage 6: Post-
Interview Stage
 Stages of Change

Precontemplation - client is
not aware they have a
problem
 Stages of Change

Contemplation - client begins

to be aware of the need for
change.
Usually due to some painful
event that wakes them up.
 Stages of Change

Preparation - the person

begins to think of action
steps to change
 Stages of Change

Action - the person commits

to his or her plan and carries
it out.
 Stages of Change

Maintenance - the person

keeps on implementing the
action steps despite
setbacks.
 Stages of Change

Maintenance - the person

keeps on implementing the
action steps despite
setbacks.
 Stages of Change

Termination - there is no
more need for therapy
because the client is strong
enough
When Is a Client Ready to Terminate?

1. The reduction or elimination of symptoms

2. The gaining of enough insight to deal with
future symptoms.
3. The resolution of transference issues.
4. The ability to work effectively, enjoy life,
and play.
5. Diminishing returns in therapy.
Case Conceptualization

Step 1: Problem identification

Identify and list client concerns
E.g., depression, obsessive worry, poor
concentration; conflict with roommate; anxiety about
independence; dependence on boyfriend; conflict
with family
Case Conceptualization

Step 2: Thematic groupings

Organize concerns into logical constellations
Moderate depression
Relationship dependency issues;
Identity confusion
Case Conceptualization

Step 3: Theoretical Inferences

Attach thematic groupings to inferred areas of
difficulty.
E.g.. fragile self-esteem (humanistic perspective);
autonomy conflicts (psychoanalytic); learned
helplessness (cognitive)
Case Conceptualization

Step 4: Narrow down inferences

Suicidality and deeper difficulties.
E.g. Underdeveloped self-worth (humanistic);
abandonment/disintegration (psychodynamic)
Counseling MIcroskills
Microskills are the basic foundational skills involved
in effective helping relationships.
They help create the necessary conditions for
change to take place.
They aid in establishing the therapeutic alliance.
Attending Skills
Eye contact
Body position
Vocal tone
Verbal underlining
Reflecting Skills
Used to help stimulate client’s exploration of their
thoughts and feelings related to the presenting
problem.
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Summarizing
Reflecting Skills
Used to help stimulate client’s exploration of their
thoughts and feelings related to the presenting
problem.
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Summarizing
Questions

1. Open versus closed questions

X What made your childhood so bad?
● What was your childhood like?
Questions

2. Tentative questions
X What feelings did you have when your wife left
you?
● I guess you must have had many

feelings when your wife left you?

Questions
Solution-Focused Questions
a. Preferred goal questions - These are
questions that are generally asked
near the beginning of counseling
How will you know that coming to
counseling has been worthwhile for
you?
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
b. Evaluative questions: These questions
help clients distinguish behaviors that
have led to preferred goals from those that
have not (e.g., Has that new behavior
worked for you?)
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
c. Coping questions: Coping questions
focus on past behaviors that have been
successful in dealing with problems (e.g.,
So, you’ve had this problem in the past,
how did you tend to cope with it then?)
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
d. Exception-seeking questions: These
questions help clients examine when they
haven’t had the problem in their ives, so that
they can explore how they previously lived a
problem-free life.
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
d. E.g. So what was going on in your life
when you were not feeling this way?
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
e. Solution-focused questionsL Future,
oriented, these questions offer clients the
opportunity to develop new, positive ways of
reaching their preferred goals.
Questions

Solution-Focused Questions
e. (e.g., What kinds of things do you think
you can do to help reach your preferred
goals?)
Questions

Do not ask “why” questions

If the client knew “why” they would not be in
a counseling office.
Psychological First Aid

1. Contact and engagement.

Goal: To respond to contacts initiated by survivors or
to initiate contacts in a non-intrusive, compassionate,
and helpful manner.
Psychological First Aid

2. Safety and Comfort

Goal: To enhance immediate and ongoing safety and
provide physical and emotional comfort.
Psychological First Aid

3. Stabilization (if needed)

Goal: To calm and orient emotionally overwhelmed or
disoriented survivors.
Psychological First Aid

4. Information gathering - current needs and

concerns.
Goal: To identify immediate needs and concerns,
gather additional information, and tailor Psychological
First Aid interventions
Psychological First Aid

5. Practical Assistance
Goal: to offer practical help to survivors in addressing
immediate needs and concerns.
Psychological First Aid

6. Connection wtih social supports

Goal: To establish brief or ongoing contacts with
primary support persons and other sources of support,
including family members, friends, and community
helping resources.
Psychological First Aid

7. Information on Coping
Goal: To provide information about stress reactions
and coping to reduce distress and promote adaptive
functioning.
Psychological First Aid

8. Linkage with Collaborative Services

Goal: To link survivors with available services needed
at the time or in the future.
M. S. Peck (1978)

“Problems do not go away. They must be

worked through or else they remain, forever a
barrier to the growth and development of the
spirit.”