Understanding behavioral patterns ---A leader

wants to know why people behave the way

they do, and how can the leader get people to
respond to the way he wants them to do?
He further wants to know how people act and
why they sometimes resist changes that may
benefit them.
The leader wants to know why people don’t
understand things to him are simple and clear.
If the leader can find the answers to these
questions he can solve one of the basic
problems, that is understanding people and
behavior.
1. Behavior depends on both the person
and his environment.
2. Each individual behaves in ways which
make sense to him.
3. An individual pass experiences
influences his perception of a situation
which in turn influences his behavior.
4. An individual’s view of himself
influences what he does.
5. An individual’s behavior is influence by
what he needs, which vary from
person to person and from time to
time.
 If we want to understand and
work effectively with others, we
need to give attention to the
individual and to the situation he
is in.
 A person can understand his
behavior easier if he understands
what he is trying to accomplish,
why he is accomplishing it, and
what is required to accomplish it.
 What we respond to is influenced to
a great extent by our previous
experiences and associations.
 At the center of all our personal
reactions are the images we have of
ourselves, or our relations with other
people, and of our relations with the
world.
 The support theory of Dr. A. Maslow
which commonly referred as
“Hierarchy of Human Needs” is briefly
explained as:
1. Physiological needs
2. Security needs
3. Social needs
4. Ego needs
5. Self-actualization
1. Understanding ones own motivation helps one to
understand another person. This reduces “blocks” or
“individual conflicts” which prevents one from
listening to, and thus understanding the other person.
2. Motivation, like growth, is inherent within people. The
task of the leader is not so much that of “motivating
others” as it is of “unleashing” and helping to harness
the motivation which is already there.
3. We all respond to a situation as we see it. To influence
other person’s behavior is to help him get a more
accurate view of the situation. This means listening to,
and responding to, questions the other persons raises.
The leader then creates the environment in which the
person feels free to act.
 Young people growing up in today’s
world are faced with many choices.
They are required to make some sense
out of all the uncertain and confusing
aspects of life by learning to assess,
appreciate and acquire that which
constitutes real VALUE.
1. Modeling
2. Persuading and Convincing
3. Limit Setting
4. Inspiring
5. Rules and Regulations
6. Advising
7. Moralizing
Other methods could be listed that
have been used in the past to assist in
the formation of beliefs, attitudes, and
behavior.
1. Be aware of your own values and how
you might be prone to try influence
others
2. Unexamined values can lead to
unintentional persuasions
3. Handling value conflicts
4. Know yourself and your values
5. Know and adhere to your counselor’s
role
6. Respect your counselee’s right to have
values that differ from your own
7. Seek the help of experts
8. Refer counselees to other counselors if
there is unworkable situation
1. For a group to be effective it’s
members must be able to
exchange ideas freely and clearly.
It’s members also must feel
involved in the decision making.
2. Just because all the members of
a group are capable individuals it
is not necessarily true that they
will function as an effective
group.
3. It is possible to help a group grow to
maturity. By using proper techniques as
group of individuals can be channeled into
effective work and internal conflicts that
retard group effectiveness can be broken
down.
4. Any group can benefit from a skilled and
dedicated leader. However, the effective
group leader must understand that
contributing to the total task of leadership is
a responsibility of each member. No group
can become fully productive until each group
member is willing to assume responsibility
for the way the group acts.
1. BLOCKER
 Resistance stops group working together
 Goes off on a tangent
 Reacts negatively to all suggestions
2. NON-PARTICIPANT
 Acts indifferently or passively
 Doodler/Daydreamer
 Withdraws from group by talking/whispering
to others
 Is afraid or others non-acceptance, failure
3. FIGHTER
 Aggressive or jealous
 Works for status by blaming others
 Deflating ego of others-bears grudges
 Shows hostility against group or some
individual
4. CLOWN
 Fools around
 Mimics others
 Disrupts work of others
 Distracts group from goals/sidetracks the
group
5. DOMINATOR
 Dogmatic/Rigid
 Tries to assist authority
 Interrupts others
 Acts superior
6. CLIQUE
 Several people gang up on others in group
 Gossip and talking behind people’s backs
7. INATTENTION
 Failure to concentrate or really listen
 Short attention span
8. HYPERACTIVITY
9. LACK OF ENTHUSIASM
10. POOR ORGANIZATION/LEADERSHIP
 Initiator/contributor– one who gets
things started
 Information seeker– one who asks
questions
 Information giver– one who gives
answers
 Coordinator– one who keeps things
rolling
 Facilitator– one who points the group toward its goal.
He keeps the group moving in the right direction.
 Summarizer– one who pulls together related ideas.
He restates highlights of discussions.
 Consensus tester– one who sends up “trial balloons”
to see if the group is nearing a conclusion or one who
measures to see how much agreement has been
reached.
Encourager– one who gives
support to others in the group to
keep them functioning together
 Harmonizer– one who keeps
group members working toward
the same goal
 Gatekeeper– one who keeps the group aware
of the subject at hand. They attempt to keep
communication channels open and draw out
nonparticipants and hold back overly verbal
participants
 Standard setter– one who expresses what
he/she wants the group to achieve. Sets limits
for the group’s activities and behavior between
group members. Helps resolve conflicts
effectively.
1. Achievement

2. Recognition

3. Interest

4. Responsibility

5. Advancement
1. Color everything you do or say
2. Know what you are saying or doing
3. Praise people
4. Don’t be opinionated
5. Look for good things in and about people
6. Sleep well and eat properly
7. Find interest in common with others
8. Don’t worry
9. Be amusing—be gay
10. Offer encouragement
11. Make others feel important
12. Render personalized attention
1. Develop an effective relationship with
the counselees
2. Trust Building
3. Defining problems and understanding
cause of identity confusion
4. Action Plan
5. Termination process
6. Follow-up
This is the most difficult
and threatening task
that these young people
can take on. They have
tremendous difficult
making emotional
attachments.
The counselor's caring and acceptance of the teenager
will likely be tested and re-tested in an effort to
determine whether or not he or she can really be
trusted.
The following questions could be vital:
--“Is the counselor powerful enough to control my
aggression?”
--“If the counselor known just how hostile and
aggressive I really feel, will I then be rejected?”
These questions must be known with some degree of
certainty before the adolescent can develop adequate
trust in the counselor.
Unconditional acceptance, caring responses, patience,
congruence, dependability, and a respectful attitude are
all vital ingredients in the counselor's efforts to win the
counselee's trust.
Would the problem be:
1. Parent-child relationship
2. Childhood psychological disorder
3. Traumas due to sexual abuse or
separation

If any of these questions draw forth

positive responses, the counseling task
is a bigger one because the identity
diffusion is likely to be more serious.
 The plan of action for the
teenager needs to contain
elements that directly
clarify the confusion and
re-affirm the areas of
insecurity and doubt that
the person has about
himself or herself.
 The termination process with these
counselees is almost as sensitive an
issue as in the relationship-building
stage. Resistance should not be given
to teenagers who wish to terminate in
order to try out their new identities.
The decision to terminate must be
completely talked through and
understood by both counselor and
counselee.
1. Sense of Identity
2. Self-respect
3. Power
4. Flexibility
5. Ambiguity
6. Empathy
7. Authenticity
8. Active
9. Humor
10. Present-oriented
11. Socio-cultural
12. Sincere interest in the welfare of others
13. Derive meaning from biblical perspective
14. Able to maintain healthy boundaries
15. Do not use counselees to meet their
unresolved needs
 Know who they are
 Know what they are realistically capable of
 Know what they want out of life
 Have a clear sense of values and priorities
 Live by internal standards
 Willing to reexamine their values and goals
Respect themselves
Have strong, realistic sense of self-
worth
Able to give and receive love and
support from others
Do not isolate themselves from
others
Are not self-destructive
Recognize limits of their own
power
Do not misuse power for
personal gain
Not narcissistic, grandiose, or in
constant need of mirroring
(admiration)
 In touch with themselves (not
defensively blocking out experiences)
 Open to change
 Not rigid
 Have the willingness and courage to
leave the security of the known if they
are not satisfied with what they have
 Can tolerate uncertainty and lack of
clarity
 Can tolerate the fact that life is not
simply "black and white"
 Can tolerate not knowing
 Able to acknowledge that sometimes
there are no right or wrong answers
 Can see things from another person’s
perspective, without getting over-
involved or overwhelmed
Authentic
Genuine
Honest
Sincere
Do not hide behind masks,
defenses, roles, facades
Committed to living rather
than settling for mere
existence
Take an active stance
toward life
Able to admit mistakes
Can acknowledge
imperfections
Generally live in the "here and now"
Do not dwell on the past or always
look to the future
Aware of socio-cultural
influences
Sensitive to individual
differences and diversity
 Know how to say "no" and set
appropriate limits
 Recognize that being an effective
counselor does not involve unbounded
giving and altruism
 Alert to signs of burn out
 Do not carry their counselees’ problems
around with them during leisure time
Examples: Parental divorce, Substance abuse/dependence,
Eating disorder, Sexual/physical abuse, etc.
Advantages:
1. Opportunity for self-exploration/growth
2. Counselors can only take the counselees as far as they
have taken themselves
3. Counselor as models of healthy living and positive
attitude
4. Helps counselor explore their motivation for wanting to
help others
5. Help counselor see blind spots (patterns/issues they
unaware of)
6. Builds empathy and compassion for the process (to
know what it’s like to self-disclosure; be on the other
side of the couch)
Culture---the values and behaviors
shared by a group of individuals.
This includes: ethnic/racial
heritage, age, gender, religion,
sexual orientation, physical and
mental ability, etc.
We live in a diverse society. It is
important to welcome and respect
differences.
 Be aware of your own cultural background, beliefs, and
identity assumptions
 Accept differences
 Do not believe your own cultural heritage is superior to
others’
 Seek to understand the world from the client’s perspective
 Learn about other cultures’ historical backgrounds,
traditions, and values
 Be knowledgeable about community characteristics,
resources, and support systems
 Develop skills in working with culturally diverse populations
 Seek out interactions with diverse people (make it part of
your life)
1. Empowers counselees
2. Don’t judge yet willing to be forthright
3. Consistently monitors expectations
4. Guide counselees to the Truth
5. Making disciples
Effective counselors make sure that counselees:

 take ownership of their goals,

 reach their goals as promptly as is reasonably possible,
 examine choices they are making, and
 see themselves as the primary catalyst for change in their lives,
irrespective of what others may or may not do.

 Consequently, an empowering counselors will not generally give

advice, make decisions,  tell what to do, or foster gratuitous dependency
upon themselves. To do so is to send an underlying message suggesting,
"You are not capable of making your own decisions, so do this."  And that is
not very empowering!  
   Most people seek someone who is
accepting, non-blaming, and non-
judgmental.  At the same time, they
want someone to "shoot-straight" with
them in a compassionate manner and
give them honest, objective, and candid
feedback when requested.  
Questions to consider to know the process is
still on the right track:
 Are you getting what you need from me?

 What is it that I do that helps you? Is not helpful?

 Do you feel you are being heard and understood?

 Are we headed in the right direction, or, have your

goals changed?  Have your expectations changed?
 Teaching the counselee how to study the
Bible for himself will set him free, enabling
him to “eat of the word” whenever he wishes
instead of being dependent upon someone
else for his essential spiritual food (Moore,
1981).
 If we are to copy Jesus’ total ministry, then
the Church must reach out both in evangelism
and in the establishing of converts. As the
converts grow, they, too, can be taught how
to equip and train other believers who in turn
will reach others through the process of
spiritual multiplication (Moore, 1981).
 http://www.sci.csuhayward.edu/~dsandberg/PSYTXLECTS/PsyTxLect02Prof
.htm

 http://www.drbaney.com/Counseling_Approaches.htmhttp://www.sci.csuha
yward.edu/~dsandberg/PSYTXLECTS/PsyTxLect02Prof.htm

 http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/characteristics-of-effective-counseling/

 http://www.myshrink.com/effective-counseling.php

 Teachers Resource Manual (Master Guide and Basic Staff Training) of the
General Conference of Church Ministries

 Moore, WB (1981).Multiplying Disciples