HELICOPTER PARENTING

01st June 2020

Prepared by-
Mayuri Bandsode Khartad
And Welcome To Our Presentation

HELICOPTER PARENTING
So,…Do you AGREE with :
What is Helicopter Parenting..?

A style of parents who are overly focused on their children.

A style of child rearing in which an overprotective mother or father

discourages a child's independence by being too involved in the child's life:

Helicopter parents are like Helicopters :

They "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly.
In Typical helicopter parenting, a mother or father swoops in at any sign of
challenge or discomfort faced by their child.
 Helicopter Parenting: OVER- PARENTING
It means being involved in a child's life in a way that is  :

FOREVER Over Protecting

Over Controlling
Over Perfecting

in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting.

Helicopter Parenting - TRIGGERS
Helicopter parenting can develop for a number of reasons.

Feeling of Anxiety

Safety Peer Pressure from other parents

Success Race
Helicopter Parenting - TRIGGERS
Helicopter parenting can develop for a number of reasons.

Only Child

Information Explosion
Need for Control

Over Compensation
You are Turning to be a
Helicopter Parents If :
• You do for your child what he/she can actually do for herself/ himself

• In Lower elementary school, you ensure your child has a certain teacher or coach.

• Even if they are walking a short distance away, yet you try to stick with your kids.
•
• You influence your child to work as per your ambitions

• You provide disproportionate assistance for homework and school projects , assignments etc

• While schooling or Coaching -You try to train your child’s educators and tutors

• You don’t allow them to make age appropriate choices

Helicopter Parenting –
Toddler & Elementary Level
 Trying to prevent every minor fall or avoiding age-appropriate risks

 Never allowing the child to play alone

 Even if they are walking a short distance away, yet you try to stick with your kids

 Providing your kid with only the menu he likes.

 You quick to find the missing puzzle piece for your child without even letting your child struggle to find it.

 Choosing Classroom Seating arrangement

 You provide disproportionate assistance for homework and school projects , assignments etc

 When your Kid comes home with a bad test grade, you're on the phone with the teacher the next day.
Helicopter Parenting –
Teenage Level till Adulthood
• Not allowing your child to make age-appropriate choices and independence.

• Becoming overly involved in their academic work and extracurricular activities.

• Choosing your teens friends.

• Disputing on your teens grade; requesting an extension for their teen’s assignment or Re-exam etc.

• Hover from the prospective university admissions stage to graduation and the Job market beyond.

• Attending job fairs and Job interviews with him/her.

• Constantly in touch with young adult over Mobile or other communication channels.

• Regularly Intervening in disagreements with their friends, co-workers etc

Mitigate
 Helicopter Parenting – Positive Side
Weight the RISK before being Over-Protective

• An Advocate or Supporter

• Safety

• Emotional, Financial and Inspirational Support

• Absorbs caring attitude & good Values from parents and return the favor to next generation.

• Exposed to large variety of developmental activity

• Support transitioning from Youth to Adulthood

We only need to separate Helicopter Parenting from being Over-focused to reap the benefits of this parenting style.
Helicopter Parenting – The Other Side
Remember: One day your child may need to cope without you.

Long term effects of Helicopter parenting are not Good & may lead to :

 Seeing Parents as their Emotional Anchor

 Anxiety and Depression
 Less open to new ideas and actions
 Become incapable of being independent
 Unaware of real capabilities or strength
 Poor coping skill - How to deal with failure or disappointment
 Under developed problem-solving skills
 Decreased Peer Communications
 Failure to develop autonomous motivation.
 Less likely to express opinions and emotions.
 Not accustomed to criticism
 Lack of Sporting Spirit
 More Emotional and health related issues
 Helicopter Parents May Slow Prefrontal Cortex Growth in Brain
Prefrontal cortex, an essential part of the brain responsible for a variety of complex behaviors .
The prefrontal cortex helps people set and achieve goals. It receives input from multiple regions of the brain to process information and adapt
accordingly. Prefrontal cortex also plays a big role in Personality development .

Prefrontal cortex contributes to a wide variety of executive functions including:

• Focusing one’s attention
• Predicting the consequences of one’s actions; anticipating events
• Managing emotional reactions; Impulse Control
• Planning for the future
• Coordinating and adjusting complex behavior.
Amygdale
• Fear
.
• Anxiety
• Danger alert
Hypothalamus
• Activates the Stress response.
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering

Assisting is not always helpful

One day your child may need to cope without you.

Children learn competence and gain confidence by tackling few things on their own, without parents help.
Helping excessively , robs children of the opportunity to work out their own way of doing things.
Making everything easy for child won’t help them cope with future hardship.
Teens especially need healthy balance of space and emotional support.
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering
 Know your Kids skills / Allow to make age appropriate choices

Observe your child and write down what he/ she can do by herself.
Talk to their teacher and ask what does they do on their own at school and make a mental note and do not intervene the with those
activities in future.

Ex : Like going to the bathroom or eating or Tying shoe less, picking up their clothes etc.
Ex : Allow an elementary child to choose their preferred extracurricular activity or hobbies, or what classes to take.

This will let children make age-appropriate decisions for themselves.

Trust the kids with the tasks that are age and developmentally appropriate.
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering
 Listen Carefully - Sympathetic listener
Instead of imposing opinions, parents can help kids most by listening closely to their fears, concerns, and challenges
With this, children discover that they can trust their parents to be there for them.
This encourages independent thought and critical thinking in child with the support of a sympathetic listener.

 Be a Coach, Not a Dictator

Do not step in and make decisions for your children / teens.
With a coaching approach, ask questions that encourage teens to work toward solving their own problems

Ask open-ended questions, such as -

So, How would you like to work out with this..?

So, what you think the alternative can be..?

This way, kids learn that the responsibility for their actions falls on them.
In addition, they learn to make better choices next time

“
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering
 Let them fail and get up
As parents cannot be around always, let children fail, fall and get disappointed.
Children should understand that failing is a normal and inevitable part of life and can offer much greater life lessons than success
This will prepare them better for the future and help them gain confidence to tackle their problem independently, without fear of failure.

 Let them take Risks

Parent need to know the difference between normal risks and more severe ones .

Children learn through experience ,so as long as there are no serious risks, it’s important to let them take risks to aid in their
development.

Ex –
In a Play ground, Stop yourself from hovering around, leave your kid and just sit back and observe.
You can see how they behave or think, when you are not holding their hand.
This will give parents the confidence to leave him/her , when he is playing next time with minimal supervision.

Let them climb and crawl to the top of slide and skid down, and interfere only if very necessary.
Let the kids too experience Trial and error exercise, to be prepared for future problem solving and coping skills.

“
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering
 Give up - Fix it approach

A child is stuck on a homework, so usually parents help them by giving them the solution, but this should not become a routine.
The long-term goal is that they become their : Own problem solver

Suggest ways of thinking about the problem or push them to research the answer to the problem.
Let them tackle few things on her own, even if they gets a little frustrated…!

Emphasis should be on :
How this struggles can be a opportunity for independent learning and being accountable for ones actions.

 Let them fight their own battles

If child has a disagreement with a friend, co-worker, or Boss, do not provide him immediate responses to the issues.
The long-term goal is to learn to be : Flexible in thinking and come up with potential solutions.

Observe : How the child deals with his frustrations independently, and interfere only if required.

Allow your child to face natural consequences for their actions.

Ex : Don’t allow a child to take a leave just because she or he didn’t timely complete a school project on deadline.

Teach them to be independently accountable with life skills to resolve the conflict on their own , including problem solving, practicing
calmness, staying optimistic and to act with integrity .
Supportive Parenting - Without Hovering
 Earn Vs Deserve
Children should not be “used to” special treatment, or unwanted praises when not required.
Every child deserves an equal chance at a sports team or scholarship.
Your child shouldn’t expect to get something they don’t deserve or didn’t Earn.

This may help child to learn to accept that their work won’t always be appreciated and needs extra efforts and preparation.
Besides, child / teen will also be aware of his/her self-worth and become responsible for own actions or conduct.

 Highlight the importance of Efforts, than Results.

 Celebrate their Efforts, Not just their success….!!!!

Not to hover over a child like a Helicopter 24/7. Instead, be a Submarine –

Out of sight for the most part but always ready at a moment’s notice .
 The Parenting Equation
The Nurture Role :
In this role, parents take care of  children’s basic needs as well as give love, attention, understanding, acceptance, time, and support.

The Structure Role

In this role, parents provide direction, impose rules, use discipline, set limits, establish and follow through with consequences, hold
children accountable for their behavior, and teach values

Worry and Anxiety is part of being a parent and

it never truly goes away no matter how old your children are….!
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