Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

1. To feel an inner relief and comfort in yourself

2. To have a balanced social relations with those around you

3. To have a great achievement

 Personality and character Ethics

Personalit
20%
y from you
What is seen

Charact
80%
er really are
What you
Your inside
 Personality and character Ethics

:Personality
Say
Do
20%
Skills & techniques
Public
Lubricate the process
Of human interaction
Character:
Integrity
Fidelity
Humility
Patience
Justice
80%
Modesty, simplicity
Courage, temperance
Character:
Integrity
Fidelity
Humility
Patience
Justice 80%
Modesty, simplicity
Courage, temperance
 Foundational Principles

Developing Habits

"Sow a thought, reap an

action; sow an action,
reap a habit; sow a habit,
reap a character; sow a
character, reap a destiny,"
Components to develop a habit
Character and competency
P/BC Balance
 Paradigm

It is the lens through which we see the

world
It is our POINT-OF-VIEW
(the closer the clearer, the higher the bigger)
 The power of the paradigm

Paradigm lens

YOU

We think we see the world as it is

NO
We see the world as we were conditioned to see it
 CHANGE MODEL

VALUES
SEE

PRINCIPLES
DO THINK
 Paradigm Shift

VALUES
SEE

PRINCIPLES
DO THINK
 Seven Habits Paradigm

Interdependence
5 Seek 1st to 6
Understand Public Synergize
.. Victory
7
4 Think Win/Win
Sharpen
The saw Independence
3 Put 1st things 1st
Private 2
1
Be proactive Victory
Begin with end
in mind
Dependence
 Maturity Continuum
It is the outline of the
(Seven habits of highly effective people)

Dependence YOU

Independence I

Interdependence WE

“EMOTIONAL MATURITY IS NOT TIED WITH AGE”

 Habit One
Be Proactive
 Habit One: Be Proactive

:Pavlov Theory

- We have 3 types of determinism:

• Genetic: What your ancestors did to you.
• Psychic: What your parents did to you.
• Environmental: Situations and people around you.
This is ok for

Animals
not humans!!!
 Habit One:
.(Be Proactive (Contd

• As a human you always have the freedom to choose.

• Morals and behaviors are not inherited.

 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Freedom to
Stimulus choose Response

Self Awareness Independent Will

Self Imagination Self Conscious

Proactive Model
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Be a Transitional Figure

Genetic Psychic Environ.

Freedom to choose

Different response
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
• All the problems we face can be:
– Direct Control: yourself
– Indirect Control: others
– No Control: weather- natural catastrophes
• Believe this: You always have the 1st key for
solving the problem
 Response-Ability

Reactive people are often affected by their physical

environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If
it isn't, it affects their attitude and their
performance. Proactive people can carry their own
weather with them.
 Reactive people are affected by their social
environment, by the "social weather." When people
treat them well, they feel well; when people don't, they
become defensive or protective. Reactive
people build their emotional lives around the behavior of
others, empowering the weaknesses of other
people to control them.
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
• Conclusions:
– You are the programmer of your life.
– Do not live to eat and have pleasure or you do not deserve
to be a human.
– Work on your Circle of Influence.

• Ghandi: They cannot take our self respect unless we

give it to them.
 Habit One:
Be Proactive (Contd.)
Listen to your language
• Reactive Persons • Proactive Persons

– There is nothing I can do – Let’s look at other alternatives

– That’s just the way I’m – I can choose a different

approach
– He makes me so mad
– I control my own feelings
– They won’t allow that
– I will choose an appropriate
response
– I can’t
– I must – I choose
– If only – I prefer
– I will
 Making and Keeping
Commitments
At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our
ability to make and keep commitments and
promises. The commitments we make to ourselves
and to others, and our integrity to those
commitments, is the essence and clearest
manifestation of our proactivity.
 Setting Goals and Achieving them
It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of
our lives immediately. We can make
a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to
achieve it. As we make and keep
commitments, even small commitments, we begin to
establish an inner integrity that gives us the
awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to
accept more of the responsibility for our own
lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and
others, little by little, our honor becomes
greater than our moods.
 Habit Two
Begin with the end in
mind
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind

• Habit One: You are the programmer of your life

• Habit Two: Program your life

– Mental creation precedes physical creation
– Use self Imagination

• What is your end in mind?

– To decide this you need to know the center of your paradigm
Begin with The End in Mind
Set your Vision
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind
ork
What is your CENTER?! Se
W Friends
lf
M
on
What most makes You happy? ey

u se n
o Fam o
What most Irritates you? Sp ily ss
i
s se
P o

re
su
ea
Pl
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind
Family Money

Friend Possession
PRINCIPLES
Pleasure
Spouse

Self Work

Principles – Centered Paradigm

 All Things Are Created
Twice
"Begin with the End in Mind" is based on the
principle that all things are created twice. There's
a mental or first creation, and a physical or second
creation to all things

What are the steps

we take to build a
house?
Leadership and Management --
The Two Creations

Management is a bottom-line focus: How can I best

accomplish certain things? Leadership deals with
the top line: What are the things I want to
accomplish?

In the words of both Peter Drucker and Warren

Bennis, "Management is doing things right;
leadership is doing the right things."
Writing and Using a A Personal
Mission Statement

1. Take the time to record the

impressions you had in the funeral
visualization at the beginning of this
chapter..
2. Take a few moments and write down
your roles as you now see them. Are you
satisfied with that mirror image of your
life.
3. Set up time to completely separate
yourself from daily activities and to
begin work on your personal mission
statement.
 Habit Two:
Begin with the end in mind

• Conclusions:
– Know yourself, know your center

– Try to have a principles-centered paradigm

– Program your life: Mission Statement

 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First

• Habit One: You are the programmer

• Habit Two: Program your life

– Use: Self Imagination

• Habit Three: Do the program, live the program

– Use: Independent Will
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
• What we are able to do is much more that we
actually do.

• Awaken your sleeping tiger. Give it a twist in the

tail.

• Things that matter most should never be under the

mercy of things that matter least.
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
Put first things first
Put first things first
Time Management
 Habit Three:
Put first Things First
• Conclusions:
– Live your program but put first things first.
– Schedule your properties but do not prioritize your
schedule.
– Give your sleeping tiger a twist in the tail.
– What you are able to do is much more that you
actually do.
 Private Victory
• Working on the 80%:
character, paradigm
• Private victory precedes
public victory.
• Without private victory
 Chronic Pains: from
inside 80%
PRINCIPLES
CENTERED
PARADIGM
 Acute pains: from others

Paradigm Shift
 Emotional Bank

It is a metaphor that describes the

amount of TRUST that has

been built up in a relationship.

 Emotional Bank
Any Say or Do in a relationship can be:

(+)DEPOSIT (-)WITHDRAWEL
100+ 300-
500+ 200-
600+ 700-
1100= 1200=
 Emotional Bank:
Six Main Deposits

• Understanding People
– man/women, children, different centers.
• Attending to little things:
– Little things are the big things
• Keeping Commitments
 Emotional Bank:
Six Main Deposits
• Clarifying expectations
– ALLAH, marriage

• Showing personal integrity

– Union of personality and character

• Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal

– This never hurts your dignity.
 Habit Four
Think Win/Win
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win

It is the habit of the 3rd alternative:

It is not my way, it is not your way, it is a
better way
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
• Different interactive paradigms: • Win
– Win/Win • I win, no matter
the other end.

– Lose/Win
– Lose/Lose
• Psychomosotic
• Devil

– Win/Lose
• selfish
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
Dimensions of the Win/Win Approach
• Character:
– Integrity:
• Union between character and personality
– Maturity:
• Courage to express your opinion and respect and
appreciate the others’
– Abundance Mentality:
• There is always room for everyone
• Opposite to scarcity mentality: selfishness
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win

Lose/Win Win/Win

Lose/Lose Win/Lose
noit ar e di s no C

Courage
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
Dimensions of the Win/Win Approach (Contd.)
• Relationships:
– Based on emotional bank
– Aware of the account
– Many withdrawals less trust  no win/win
• Agreements:
– Agree on: targets, plans, methods, consequences,
good or bad
• Systems and processes: Gods’ system
 Habit Four:
Think Win/Win
• Conclusions:
– It is not my way, it is not your way, it is a better
way.
– Win/Win means courage and consideration
– Integrity, maturity, abundance mentality
– There is always room for everyone
– Be aware of your emotional bank accounts
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand
then to be understood
 Habit Five:
….Seek first to understand
• We were taught how to talk, walk, write but to

listen….????

• You are 100% responsible for communication with

the others whether you are sending or receiving .

 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

Most people either speak or prepare to speak or

listen to judge and criticize.

COLLECTIVE MONOLOGUE
(THE DIALOGUE OF DEATH!!!(
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Listening:
– 7%: words
7%
– 38%: vocals
55%
– 55%: non-verbal 38%

• impressions
• Eye looks (100%
expressing)
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Levels of listening:
– Ignorive
– Pretentive: nodding and humming
– Selective
– Attentive: focus on the words
– Empathic:
• Listens to understand
• Gets what behind the words
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• BECAUSE WE LISTEN THROUGH OUR OWN
PARADIGM WE TEND TO:
-Probe
- Evaluate
- Interpret
- Advice
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

Levels of misunderstanding:
1. Appearance: age, gender, language, clothing
2. Association: work, education, home, club
3. Interests: hobbies, friends
4. Thoughts
5. Values and believes: paradigm
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….

1
You can never understand a 20% 2
3
person if you listen to him 4
5

through your paradigm. You 80%

have to put yourself in his

?
shoes.
 Habit Five:
….then to be understood
• To be understood:
– Ethos (70%):
• From ethics: principles-centered character

– Pathos (20%):
• From passion: express your emotions

– Logos (10%):
• From logic: make sense
 Habit Five:
Seek first to understand….
• Conclusions:
– Empathic listening is the essence of human
communication.
– If you do your best to understand people, indeed they
will understand you.
– Do not jump to conclusions
– More understanding  more trust  more influence
Habit Six:
Synergize
 Habit Six:
Synergize
• The essence of synergy is to:
– Value differences
– Respect others
– Build on strength
– Compromise for weakness

• Real strength is based on difference not on similarity

“This is a natural law”
 Habit Six:
Synergize
Human Brain

Left Right Hemisphere

Hemisphere

• Verbal (logic) • Non-Verbal (emotions)

• Time bound • Time free
•Management • Leadership
 Habit Six:
Synergize
Synergize
LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION
(Win/Win)

Respectful (Compromise)
TS URT

Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/Lose)

COOPERATION
 DRIVING VS RESTRAINING
FORCE

• Driving Force: • Restraining Force:

- Positive - Negative
- Reasonable - Emotional
- Logical - Illogical
- Conscious - unconscious
 Habit Seven
Sharpen Your Saw
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw

• Sharpen the saw: the story

• It is all about:
– Self-renewal

– Important not urgent

– P/PC balance
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw
Physical
Exercise, nutrition
Stress management

Mental Social/Emotional
Reading, RENEWAL Synergy, empathy
Planning, Family activities,
Visualizing Social activities

Spiritual
Religious activities,
Prayers
BALANCE Effectiveness
 Habit seven:
Sharpen your saw
DO
Commit Learn
Commit
Do Learn
Do Commit

Learn
Do Commit
Learn

The Upward Spiral

 Finally

• The seven habits is all about paradigm shift.

• This is not easy. You need:
– Patience
– Courage
– Will
– Consistency
 Finally

• This is the way for a proper life, so do not ever

give up.

• It is really worth some effort and pain.

 Please Answer

- What most affected you in this course?

- What did you most benefit from this course?

Real Thanks
for
your Attention