The Silent Language of Success

Prof Rumana Shaikh

Non-Verbal Communication
Paralanguage Visual Signs Body Language: Kinesics Spatial Language: Proxemics Private, Personal(18 to 4 ft), Social (4 ft 12 ft), Public (beyond 12 ft), Language of Time: Chronemics

Picture This
Vice President (Mkt) has a white board in his cabin, where he jots down notes, meeting minders, points for meetings, thoughts and ideas that come to his mind. One of the secretaries wipes it off without his knowledge. He calls for her.

Picture This
She enters his cabin, apprehensive. Offers to shake hands with him. He refuses. He does not look at her directly. Fires her. She leaves, obviously scared.

Picture This
1. 2.

3.

4.

How will she show apprehension? As a leader, what message did he convey? At their next meeting, how will her approach be? If he wants her hearty co-operation, how should he have conducted the same meeting?

Identify the following Postures

Communication happens through body language, but is contextual

Identify the following Postures

Why & What

Language is surely too small a vessel to contain these emotions of mind and body that have somehow awakened a response in the spirit. - Radclyffe Hall Quotes Body Language is: Gestures, movements and mannerisms by which a person or animal communicates with others - Merriam Websters Online Dictionary

Mehrabian Model
Did you know?

Non-Verbal Signals constitute 93% of your communication - 55% (body language, eye contact), 38% vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice) Impact of actual words is only 7% And with the spotlight on you- in an interview or a presentation, your non-verbal communication is as important as your verbal

Can You Hide Your Thoughts ?

What you are is shouting out so loud that I cant hear you. Your non-verbal signals can make or mar that sale, interview or presentation

How Do You Show These Emotions

http://www.cccoe.net/social/bodylang.htm

Listening: The Key to Good Relationships

Are you being listened to, or just heard in a class, a presentation, an interview? How do you know nobodys listening? Are you listening, hearing or pretending?

Look for These Signs

The left hand over the right hand and elbows leaning on the table Your left hand cupping your left ear The left hand pulling the ear lobe Hands in a steeple, elbows over the table Nodding Chin/Nose stroke

Your Audience is Not Listening When

You see The right hand crossing over the left hand Arms and legs crossed Watch glance The right hand pulling the left ear lobe Rapid head nod, tapping head/ stomach Nose/ear - rub/touch

Eyes Windows of Your Soul

Stare Quick blinking Frowning Glance Eyes distracted Look when you talk, Look when you listen

Clusters
Gestures vary from culture to culture Gestures should be read in clusters Should be interpreted as a whole, in the context of communication

Actions speak louder than words Watch your actions

HEAD
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Nodding the head

-

yes in most societies no in some parts of Greece, Yugoslavia, Bulgaria, and Turkey yes in Thailand, the Philippines, India, Laos yes, Im listening in India and Thailand

Tossing the head backward

-

Rocking head slowly, back and forth

-

Eyes
*

Eye contact
-

Encouraged in America, Canada, Europe Rude in most Asian countries and in Africa yes in Thailand and some Asian countries hello in the Philippines Sharing secret in America and Europe flirtatious gesture in other countries

Raising eyebrows
-

Winking eye
-

Ears
*

Ear grasp
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Im sorry. in India I cant hear you. in all societies You are in my heart for Navajo Indians

Cupping the ear

-

Pulling ear
-

Nose
*

Holding the nose

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Something smells bad. universal Its confidential. England Watch out. Be careful. Italy Its me. Japan In Japan and many Asian countries, blowing the nose at social gathering is very impolite.

Nose tap
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Pointing to nose
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Blowing nose
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Arms
*

* *

Arms akimbo - In many cultures, this stance signals aggression, resistance, impatience, or even anger. Arms behind back hands grasped is a sign of ease and control. Arms in front -hands grasped, common practice in most Asian countries, is a sign of mutual respect for others.

Hands
* * *

Your hands are probably used most for communicating non-verbally. Hand waves are used for greetings, beckoning, or farewells. The American good-bye wave can be interpreted in many parts of Europe and Latin America as the signal for no. The Italian good-bye wave can be interpreted by Americans as the gesture of come here.

Hands (contd)
*

Beckoning.
*

The American way of getting attention (raising a hand with the index finger raised above head) could be considered rude in Japan, and also means two in Germany. The American come here gesture could be seen as an insult in most Asian countries. In China, to beckon a waiter to refill your tea, simply turn your empty cup upside down.

The Handshake
*

Handshaking is a form of greeting in most Western cultures.

* *

In the Middle East, a gentle grip is appropriate. In most Asian cultures, a gentle grip and an avoidance of direct eye contact is appropriate.

Hand-holding among the same sex is a custom of special friendship and respect in several Middle Eastern and Asian countries.

Fingers
*

The O.K. signal. (the thumb and forefinger form a circle) means
*

* *

fine, or O.K. in most cultures, zero or worthless in France an insult in Greece, Brazil, Italy, Turkey, Russia

Fingers (contd.)
*

Pointing.
*

Pointing with the index finger is common in North America and Europe. But it is considered impolite in Japan and China where they favor using the whole open hand. Malaysians prefer pointing with the thumb.

Legs and Feet

*

In Japan, Thailand, and China, a solid and balanced sitting posture is the prevailing custom. Sitting crosslegged shows the sign of disrespect. In the Middle East and parts of Asia, resting the ankle over the other knee risks pointing the sole of your shoe at another person, which is considered a rude gesture.

Walking
*

Walking can reflect many characteristics of a culture. For example,

*

In Thailand and some of the Middle Eastern countries, men who are friends may walk holding each others hand. In Japan and Korea, women commonly walk a pace or two behind male companion. Asians often regard Western women as bold and aggressive, for they walk with a longer gait and a more upright posture.

What Does This Dog Show?

Confidence

Before Elections: President Hopeful

Barak Obama certainly is known for his striking IMAGE. Notice the intensity on his face. The cheek bones. The strength of his jaw. The back of a soldier. This is a POWERFUL IMAGE that can win an election IF it is backed up with a message of VISION and not policies.

President Hopeful

McCain's face shows intelligence and compassion. He is the precise OPPOSITE of Obama. Wide open eyes give the feel of open-ness. Obama? No. He is a leader with vision. He has his OWN plan. McCain appears to want to know what the person he's talking to thinks. If McCain talks about VISION he would be crushed because that is NOT his image. His image exuded compassion, intelligence, open minded. Does America want an open minded President...or a visionary, perhaps unlike any we've seen?

Body Language @ the Workplace

Hints to indicate if people are receptive to your ideas: Hands on table, palms up open Chin stroke/ brows knit thinking, evaluating, may agree with your ideas Head nod, legs uncrossed, leaning forward, smile,

To conclude

Understanding the body language of your colleagues and clients makes things work better for you Understand the unsaid, make your way to success

References

Body Language; Allan & Barbara Pease Develop Your Assertiveness; Sue Bishop, The Sunday Times Creating Success, Second Edition www.calstatela.edu (date of download 2/4/08) http://www.lifepositive.com/mind/psychology/bo dy-language/body-work.asp (date of download 2/4/08)