PARENTING SKILLS

What is Parenting
Bringing up children can be the most rewarding job in the world Yet it is the most difficult and challenging job
Do you feel like an ineffective parent? Do you get tired while raising your kids?

Stages of Parenthood
Image Making Stage (pregnancy to birth of child) . Nurturing Stage (birth until the child begins saying no, around 18 months to 2 years) Authority Stage (2 years to around the 4th or 5th birthday) . Interpretive Stage (beginning of school years to the approach of adolescence) . Interdependent Stage (teenage years) Departure Stage (occurs when children leave home)

Stages of Parenting for a Family

Stage I: Child bearing Family Stage II: Family with pre-school children Stage III: Family with school age children Stage IV: Family with teenagers Stage V : Family with launching young adults

Childbearing Families
Families with the first child between 0-30 months old

Issues: Adjusting marital system to make space for children

Taking parenting roles Privacy/recreation affected after birth of child Financial Management

Families with Preschool Children

Families with first child between the age group of 30 months to 6 years Issues: Planning the gap between the 2 children Financial difficulties Inadequate quality of time spent by working parents Difficulty in understanding child behaviour

Families with School Children

Familys oldest child is 6 to 13 years old

Issues: Encouraging children educational achievement Financial difficulties to deal with childs material needs High expectations and demands from child
Change in family routine

Families with Adolescents

Familys oldest child is 13 to 20 years old

Issues: Shifting of parent- child relationship to permit adolescents to balance freedom with responsibility
Refocus on midlife marital and career issues

Difficulty in understanding the physical, social and psychological changes in the child
Difficulty in giving children orientation about sex

Families as Launching Centers

The first child has been launches into the adult world Issues: Development of adult to adult relationship between growth children and their parents Decision about sons/daughters marriage

Realignment of relationship to include in-laws and grandchildren Sharing decision making with grown up child

Parenting Role
Birth of first child: Moving from being a couple to parenthood Men and women approach parenthood with different motivations Often results in significant decline of marital satisfaction and increase in conflict

Preparing for Parenthood

Identify the familys needs and priorities Discover the familys resources and capabilities Map the familys social support network Mobilize the familys resources

Development Milestones
Gross Motor Fine Motor

Talking and understanding

Social Intellectual

The Dos and Donts of Parenting

Parent Trap
Space Jam Double Talk Failure to Correct Age-inappropriate Parenting

Teaching a Child to Wait

The value of relationships Money savvy Sharing Calm, clear and consistent Allow for failure

Parenting Skills
Spending quality time Stating clear instructions Engaging in Attention-Enhancement tasks Setting limits and enforcing good behavior Keeping a check on hostile criticisms

Parenting Skills
Ignoring some behaviors Focus on effort, not grades Using punishment effectively/ appropriately Anticipating/planning for difficult situations Taking time off from the child

Handling Difficult Children

Difficult Behaviors

Recurring behaviors that interfere with learning, and in the successful development of more advanced skills may be described as difficult behaviour

Types of Difficult Behavior

Acting out versus Passive behaviors Acting Out: Tantrums Aggression

Passive: Inattention Non compliance

Why do children behave this way?

They serve one or more function for the child They meet the childs needs They are a means of communicating something

Dealing with Temper Tantrums

Remain calm If possible, walk away from child till he/she calms down, ignore tantrum Intervene early Do not give in to childs demands and be consistent

Dealing with Temper Tantrums

Decide on one consequence for throwing a tantrum (e.g., forbid child from watching TV), and be consistent Tape record a tantrum if it becomes a regular feature and show child If child old enough to comprehend, explain exactly what he/she is doing wrong Reward child when NOT throwing tantrum

5 Tips for Working Parents

Spell out the rules Dont overcompensate Develop a strong social support system Parenting involves both spouses Be choosy about childcare

EAP Services
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